The Codex of Zuka

[Coldcurse]

- If zuka gets children it will only be 1 boy brought on earth with the name "Zuka Jr."

[macmacnick]

The Akuz Tavern in Nalm is the Only Place you'll find authentic Zuka-Certified ZukaSauce.
Unfortunately said tavern is usually sold out, and Backlogged with a list of atleast 100 anime girls.
Zuka Approves and implemented this sauce limit purposely.

[Byron Cavendish]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/mfqr2s0hjhfhak8/Zuka%20Poem.mp3

[Squidslinger Gilder]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/mfqr2s0hjhfhak8/Zuka%20Poem.mp3

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"In the early days of GOIO dev, Muse invited Zuka to test a prototype experimental harmonic vibrator gun. It was quickly scrapped after Zuka's personal sound effects garnered the game an AO rating."
"Unbeknownst to Muse, Zuka smuggled out the prototype code for the weapon. This later became the Zbrator mode on the zPhone."
"Zuka keeps a lifesize fully functional vibrator gun at his castle for parties, or when the peasantry runs out of sauce."
"Insurance companies refuse to insure Zuka's residences anymore as all have since been vibrated apart after parties. Zuka claims earthquakes but miraculously the vibrator gun is never listed on any claims reports."

[macmacnick]

Every dirty peasant in the world thinks of Zuka as their Senpai. However, Zuka does not think of them as a legion of Kohai. In fact, he doesn't even notice them except for on the rare occasion that one proves themselves worth of being Zuka'd.
As one peasant famously exclaimed,
"Zuka-Senpai... Notice Me!!!!!!!1!1!!!!!"
Zuka, however did not take notice.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"Zuka doesn't earn frequent flyer miles, he gives out frequent Zuka miles. Because it is always better to Zuka than to receive."
"Flight attendants can cash in their frequent Zuka miles for the exclusive Zuka High Club."
"Zuka never flies first class, he flies Zuka Class, also known as private party on a plane class."
"It takes 1 million Zuka miles to upgrade to Zuka Class."
"At 10 million Zuka miles you are upgraded to Zukanaut membership and your picture will be placed in the Zuka High Club for Zuka to wink fondly at."

[macmacnick]

Zuka's name is reflected in the spanish word for sugar, El Azucar. The 'zuca' in the word is a distorted version of 'Zuka', thus, the original word was "El Azukar". It is currently unknown why Zuka's name was placed in the spanish word for sugar, but it is theorized that it has something to do with paying Homage to Zuka, and probably some kind of awkward sugar ritual performed in Spain when sugar was grown on Spanish plantations in the new world. Zuka, to the locals, was the local god of Fertility, and sugar was believed to be a 'Miracle substance' when it was new to the old world, promoting fertility, vigor, social extremism, and the like, and the spanish also thought the term, which the locals used to refer to sugar, sounded nice, so they slapped on an 'El' to the front, and then it gradually devolved from "Zuka" to "Zuca".


When Zuka is feeling Gracious, the peasants are rewarded with a Blood moon and some lunar eclipses, or if they are lucky, a set of four blood moons, a tetrad. Blood moons have been associated with the Occult, but in reality, it is a sign of impending fertility amongst the animals, such as wolves, which is why one sees more wolves out during blood moons.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"There is not always room for improvement, but there is always room for more Zuka."

[Squidslinger Gilder]

From signs on Zuka's property:

"Trespassers will be sauced, then Zuka'd, and then sauced again. Women trespassers...get extra sauce."

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"Comic-Con was modeled after the last party at Zuka's house. It would be called Zuka Con but that name was already taken by Japan."
"At Zuka Con, there are Zuka Cafes and local idols singing various drunken Zuka show tunes. Anyone that cosplays as Zuka gets free booze and sauce!"
"Interest in Zuka related Doujinshi has risen 500% since Zuka Con's founding."
"Guests to Zuka Con are eligible to spend the night in a Zuka themed love hotel where every room has a picture of Zuka above the bed."
"Japan's low birthrate problem was officially solved the first year Zuka Con was held."

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"Zuka opened an institution of higher learning once called Zukavard. It's only graduate: Zapp Brannigan."
"Zapp Brannigan only attended classes for one day. His understanding of all things Zuka were beyond that of any mere human. He was instantly graduated and granted "non-peasant," status by the great Zuka."
"Zukavard didn't close, it was overrun by a series of house parties which spilled over onto the campus and made the area a toxic waste site after drunk students tried to artificially brew Zukasauce."
"Zukavard parties are currently only 10% contained as responders who come to contain the parties end up falling under the influence of the sauce fumes."

[HamsterIV]

* Pompeii was not burred by the volcanic eruption of Mt Vesuvius but rather a different eruption after Zuka held one of his famous orgies.
* All major seismic and volcanic activity recorded around the world is a side effect of Zuka parties.
* There is a sign on the dark side of the moon saying "If the planet is a rocken don't come a knocken."
* All alien abduction and probings are an attempt by interstellar species to understand Zuka's potency.
* Interstellar law prohibits any attempt to abduct Zuka. If he were to find out other civilizations existed among the stars he would Zuka them all.
* SETI will never find signs of extra terrestrial life because the universe enacted a radio blackout when they discovered what Zuka was capable of.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"The Lord of the Rings was actually inspired by the childhood story of Zuka returning and overdue library book."
"Zuka was forced to return it after inciting a nudist riot on campus as he tried to turn the school into one big amazon jungle tribe."
"In 30 minutes Zuka had already amassed a partial harem, half of them teachers."
"There is a secret lost episode of Reading Rainbow where Zuka guest stars. It was deemed too saucy for TV and is currently used to encourage illiterate adults that it is never to late to learn how to Zuka...I mean, read."
"Zuka's Reading Rainbow episode later went on to become a teaching aide in Health classrooms in 49 states. Due to frequent appearances at local high schools, it was not deemed necessary in Zuka's home state."

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"It is rumored Zuka plans to run for president in the future. When questioned which party he would run under Zuka replied,"You sir are a pervert. I don't ride Donkeys or Elephants like that...unless they're cute, which they're not! Those two are not worthy of my sauce!!"
"Zuka's first act as president: Amending state names....Zukabama, Zuklaska, Zukazona, Zukansas, Zukafornia, Zukarado, Connetizuka, Delazuka, Zukida, Zukeorgia, Zukwaii, Zukaho, Zukanois, Zukdiana, Zukawa, Zuksas,  Zuktucky, Zukiana, Zukaine, Zukaland, Zukachussetts, Michizuka, Minnezuka, Zukissippi, Zukouri, Zuktana, Zukbraska, Zukavada, New Zukashire, New Zuksey, New Zukico, New Zukork, North Zukalina, North Zukota, Zukio, Zuklahoma, Orezuka, Zukavania, Rhode Zuka, South Zukalina, South Zukota, Zukessee, Zukexas, Zuktah, Zukamont, Zukginia, Zukington, West Zukginia, Zukconsin, Zukyoming."