Glorious Quotes from Guns of Icarus Online

[Hoja Lateralus]

A (woman, engineer to gunner): Don't come here with your inferior tools
B: Haaa, she said you have an inferior toooool!
Because I'm ten again

"Two mallets and a hull sounds like a great name for goio porn parody"

[Aayra]

Frostbound: I'm in a match where there's seven sub-lvl-10 people on the enemy team and only me on the other team and it's still underdog for them


Analus: feedback@musegames.com
Analus: true@story.bro


MightyKeb: your life is like spire, perpetually dying, but still not dead yet

[Aayra]

Huskarr: so any ship wishes?
Huskarr: I can also suck at other ships


Kestril: we all suck at lj until one fateful day
Kestril: when we hit a moonshining squid at 2k
Kestril: only then we are good at lj


*RandomName*: if you have querocen use it

[Aethelfrith]

"Mmmmmm, pop that s*** for RED!"

-An inebriated Guns Maxwell on the potential use of engineer stamina to rebuild things faster

[Aayra]

*random lvl 40*: why did this ship suddenly get stacked?
Frostbound: you are lvl 40, you are not part of the stack


Frostbound: we dont make mistakes, we just have happy accidents. I wish I was a happy accident
Aayra: oh Im sure you were
Frostbound: no, Im not happy


MightyKeb: sorry I got cornered
Extirminator: HOW DO YOU GET CORNERED ON DUNES?!


JoneKone: if you turn the ship while everybody is shooting we cant hit anything
JoneKone: my 8 year ols don understands that
JoneKone: who btw was the captain of the other ship


JoneKone: Pyry speaks only finnish and bad english
Analus: *simplified english (US)

[Aayra]

MightyKeb: Frost you are gonna be gunner
Frostbound: I love memes


Frostbound: did you see that sick play when we spawned next to you
Frostbound: very skillful use of game mechanics


Urz: kill me irl pls
LefterisT: stay and suffer life like a normal person


Aayra: are you high, Keb?
MightyKeb: no this is my normal self


I need to protecc mlady. Tips fedora
Aayra: yeah literally white knight gunner - attacc and prottecc


Delorum: Wtf Huskarr I told you to bring double spanner and dual wield
Huskarr: but Im holding it with both hands so I can hit harder


AbbyTheRat: Rydr is one of the most highly skilled clan in game
Delorum: *suicides with a merc squid into terrain*


Skrimskraw to Strakha: Well hello, welcome to the clan, I am your clan leader, I am never here. And right now im on my alt account, because i got banned.


Loken Moon: can we change our pilot? We are suffering from autism
Stygimoloch: here, have a fidget spinner


OverlordGlaucus: I SEE YOUR LVL
JakeEshiver: OMG I IDENTIFY AS A LVL 5
JakeEshiver: IM LEVEL FLUID, I CHANGE LEVELS HOURLY


Jewsername: bazinga
Frostbound: zimbabwe
Frostbound: sorry Im drunk


Aayra: someBODY
SapphireGold: once
Skrimskraw: TOUCHA MA SPAGHET
SapphireGold: WHAT ARE YOU DOIN IN MY SPAGHET
Frostbound: Sapph spamming month old memes
Frostbound: Dissapoint.

[Aayra]

*****NSFW warning******


Skrimskraw: I just dont get how 2 ships are attacking pyramidion and it doesnt die
Skrimskraw: what is our ally?
Skrimskraw: ............THE FUCK IS A MAGNATE??!!


MightyKeb: swipe me on tinder
Frostbound: Any boys on Omegle with the tag „crossdressing“?
MightyKeb: I want your index finger running sensually through your greasy iphone screen
Skrimskraw: looking for young grill must be dtf
RethBurn: find me on chatroulette


Skrimskraw: jack me off with a cheese grater
Frostbound: Im reporting this entire lobby


Captain Squarepants: you guys clearly need to speak to the Lord Jesus Christ, ive actually got some bibles if you would like
Skrimskraw: this is a protestant game, please take your jesus back to Israel


SapphireGold: /Cum
SapphireGold: *everyone cums*
Skrimskraw: are you okay sapphire?
Skrimskraw: like in real life
SapphireGold: /pleasehelpmeihavecancer



RethBurn: *notices bulge* OwO
RethBurn: I look at your face and smile, a bulge signifying confidence grows in my pants
Captain Thiele: fuck this lag


Captain Thiele: SAPPHIRE QUIT TYPING AND START BEING USEFUL
SapphireGold: I HAVE A RAGING BONER


Aayra: P spawns a catgirl next to you to suck your dick
Aayra: try it
SapphireGold: p
SapphireGold: didnt work
MightyKeb: you need to be a CA
Frostbound: hello this is ca



SapphireGold: ok i have a deal for you mr ca
SapphireGold: ill let you block me
SapphireGold: if I can eat your ass
SapphireGold: was I too direct?
Skrimskraw: please leave
SapphireGold: shudup skræmsav


Aayra: report me daddy
SapphireGold: /report
Aayra: /arewedatingnow
SapphireGold: /yes
Aayra: /nice
SapphireGold: /press f for marry
Aayra: /f
SapphireGold: /very nice

[Fynx]

Huh, I'll share some old ones since I found them stashed in a file.



Aayra: Congratulations about the 12000 games Lue. And condolences to every single other aspect of your life.



Dementio: Your name is making my mumble crumble.



Ayetach: They swag and we potate.



Fynx: I ran out of cookies.
Tanya: I can help you!
Fynx: No you can't. You're too far away.
Tanya: Lets make it a guided cookie synthesis.



Lvl 7 minofish against a lvl 13 brawling junker.
Minofish wins.

Lvl 13 pilot: Now I hate pushcannons with a passion
Areus: Annoyance launcher 1, junker 0



Two pilots disconnected, crews request a pause.
Lueosi: We don't pause for these guys. They insulted my mother.



Castus Crios: I think it's an enemy junker there, spot it.
Castus Crios: Yeah.
Castus Crios: "Junker"
Castus Crios: Aptly named.



Lueosi: I need to pee. That's a good sign guys. I always need to pee before a good match.



Daniel: HELLO! How do you feel this BEAUTIFUL... SUNNY... night...?



Waiting endlessly for the match to start...
Lueosi: Christmas is at 24th of December.
Lueosi: Any wishes?
(simultaneously)
Fynx: I'd like a pony
Dementio: Death to humanity
Silent Marauder: Catgirl harem



corpsehatch: I'm a designated rydr punch bag.



Fynx: Who wants the hades?
Fynx: First one to take...
Indomitus: not me
corpsehatch: not me
Fynx: Seriously, you're awful
Indomitus: fine
corpsehatch: fine, I'll take it
Fynx: Akagin hades



Fynx: I need to pee.
Extirminator: Do you live in a house or a flat?
Fynx: In a house.
Extirminator: Use the window.
Fynx: But it's too far away.
Extirminator: Put lesmok in it.

[Aayra]

MightyKeb: So does any of you sometimes have these goio shower thoughts?



MightyKeb: Talk to me again, when you have a photo of a girl next to your dick
MightyKeb: I accept the pthotoshop too because, you know...


RethBurn: what is you favourite ocarina
Lockheart: eeeehm... the blue one.....or......the one of time



Corsair is like playing doomfist in overwatch. Someone gets next to the wall and you instakill them.
And then you do rising hydrogen.



MightyKeb: he protecc
MightyKeb: he attacc
MightyKeb: but most importantly
MightyKeb: he stacc


Frostbound: I dont have to play with low levels if I dont want to. Nothing says I have to. I can play with my friends too.
Aayra: are you saying we are your friends?
Frostbound: no fuck you. It was hypotethical. If I had friends, I would play with them.


Extirminator: if ryders get 2000 thumbs up we kick Daniel from the clan


*...canyons, silence, looking for enemy ships...*
Frostbound: FUCKING EAGLES ALWAYS JEBAITING ME!


TyberiusTheThird: *about lens array* First thing that came into my mind on this guns the word „gayray“. It tickles the balls of enemy ships until it gets too uncomfortable


Aayra: JOIN
Aayra: ME
Aayra: DADDY
Appetite Ruining Kebab: i will join on my own time
Appetite Ruining Kebab: which is right now


Frostbound: I would like to inform you, I am playing from the bed
MightyKeb: that feeling when you dont have a girlfriend, so you play goio in bed
Frostbound: goio is my girlfriend


Aayra: Daniel are you still hiccuping?
Dementio: it wont go away until the SCS is over...
MightyKeb: Just imagine something that scares you. Like mine mobula.

[Aayra]

Frostbound: every time someone makes a Marco Polo joke in this game, a puppy dies and a noob loads burst into gatling.


SapphireGold: Isla is 2/3 of an island


Corpsehatch: wow ryders are actually friends


Extirminator: ok guys Im gonna use the mosturizer on my face now hold up
*fading sounds while he leaves the pc*
Extirminator: ...Im not gay!!!


Kira Wa Nai (to me and Frostbound): like you know there are some people with very tryhard attitude to life. Like me.
And you two are just like eh whatever and dick jokes.

[GurasOguras]

Aayra: How can people have fire tool on second (slot), I don't understand that.
Mighty Keb: They're like the GoIo definition of left handed.

MightyKeb: I'm going to switch channel and tell Frost and Aayra that I love them before I leave.
*switches channel*
MightyKeb: Hey Frost, Aayra...
MightyKeb: Fuck you!
*disconnects*

[Aayra]

Delorum: Sundstrom is the only one I like to pilot with
Frostbound: Why? Is he the only pilot that can carry you?


Aayra (on judgement): Im just following you around watching you buff the whole ship alone. Im the moral support. Share some pain with me.
Frostbound: Im about to share some pain with you if you dont get back to the bottom deck now! GET OFF MY DECK, SLUT!


Kira Wa Nai: If you cant handle me at my magnate, you dont deserve me at my corsair


GurasOguras: *playing agains Spuds double banshee-carro junker*  all we need to do is doubletank the balloon...
....ok all we need to do is tripletank the balloon...Kira come top deck
....OK ALL WE NEED TO DO IS QUADRUPLETANK THE BALLOON

[Tychon]

Right i have one junker 5 harpoons and lochnigar. guess who's going whaling.

[Aayra]

*Kira trying to get the SCS team together*
Kira: oh my god how many dicks do I have to suck to get this team going?!



Kira: I will probably crawl back to bed
Aayra: why tho
Kira: I have a terrible russian accent so after my prayers to become thicc i became sicc instead



D.lo-res: Dio teach me how to pilot
Dionalli: why the hell would you think I know



SlyCrossFox: New York used to be New Amsterdam
Frostbound: *in a very sensual voice* did somebody say........Hamsterdam?



Frostbite: what is the CA?
Lore de Spades: come.asshole!



SlyCrossfox: This is my kind of coaching. Just suck harder!



Dolly: I love all of you!
SlyCrossFox: See this is the problem, there is too much love going around here
Dolly: Shut the fuck up.



freedom-man: what is a sundstrom
Kira: an alpaca



Aayra: I need to cook my food before we start drinking because when Im cooking drunk I always make a huge mess in the kitchen
Kira: because YOU are the huge mess in the kitchen



Kira: Pause please Guras is googling what yeet means



*silence for like 5 minutes, loading screen of graveyard rumble*
Analus: mmmmmmmm, skyball.......



Frostbound: Kira go to nearest Lidl and buy a mic



Kira: imma fry a schnitzel real quick



Frostbound: ah time for sniping, where is my alcohol



MightyKeb: Oh hey Kira I see that since the last time we spoke you switched from normal mic to german radio receiver from the 50s



Frostbound: Kira why havent you played Papers, please?
Kira:  no I have PTSD. I had to deal with eastern european bureaucracy enough
Frostbound: Aayra, did you play Papers, please?
Aayra: no one time I had to get my health insurance done for Denmark, I have PTSD too



WATERitsME: well this is  a dream team, one of us cant see, ally is metally challenged and the rest of us are drunk.



Frostbound: Chad detonator vs virgin hwaka



*to lobby with Pony´s Tears in it*
Frostbound: we would like to recruit that small horse from your team as our captain

[Aayra]

Aayra: how can you be bad at being a whore
Lore de Spades: I have standards


Aayra: Huskarr get bigger hands!
Huskarr:IM GONNA GET A PENIS ENLARGEMENT !!!


Ryansilky: Frost please swap, Im not a good captain
Frostbound: Stay
Frostbound: *sprays water*


Alien: remember the last match in Aerodrome  when they mirrored our builds and Daniels build was completely stupid?


Aayra: sorry if you are religious or something...?
Lore Do Spades: Pffft my dude fuck that hail Satan!


Ally captain: could you please give us one kill??
Aayra: *to crew*guys dont shoot, shoot only for disable
Frostbound: *fucking destroys the enemy with buffed loch detonator*
Frostbound: DISABLE PURPOSES!


Frostbound: Did you know that the person getting detonated is called a detonant?
Tuxfanturnip: arent they the detonee
Frostbound: no detonee is the person using the detonator


Analus: CS: GOIO


Frostbound: it is the rule of iron fork.
Frostbound: team with most cakes lose the match.


Frostbound: Lobby: we want Canyons!
Frostbound: Zennoch: we have canyons at home
Frostbound: Canyons at home: *Alleron Affray*


Aayra: if you com here, Red can whisper in your ear
Blackhand: SOLD


Hungover Engie: Did you use that dc´d pyra as bait?
Analus: sorta
Hungover Engie: You sorta fuckers
Analus: language
Hungover Engie: Pardon
Hungover Engie: You sorta fornicators


FabianOZ: it is all fun and games until the clouds start speaking vietnamese


Analus: Brawling in my scrim, these wounds they will not heal


Bob on squid: technically this is a long range fight, the galleon is long range and they are the mothership. We are just a drone.