99 Bottles

[C r o w]

''Twenty.''






''Seven.''






Finishing this bottle o'shine stops drunken Crow and makes me become philosopher Crow.
I start explaining the Critique of Pure Reason of Kant.

+500% introspection in 2500m AoE
+700% sanity in 2500m AoE
+700,000% Sleepiness to everyone within ear range

[Carn]

Carn grabs three bottles, drinking one, and throwing the other two at Luharis and Crow.

"Twenty four, now quit your babbling and drink up!"

[Lu Lu]

Luharis catches the bottle and swiftly chugs it down...

...

...

Waiht a minute, I'm shtieell tooo undrarage teh drunk...

-500 health

[Luharis plays the comatose card]

-500% damage resistance
-1000% Dodge chance
+25 health for the next 4 turns

[C r o w]

Crow grabs the trown bottle, drinks it all and bear-hugs a random person in the room.

''*HIC* I want more!*HIC*''

[Lu Lu]

Wah?!

Get off me!!!

Can't... cant... breath

help me...

[Luharis ends up passing out]

[C r o w]

Crow wakes up sober.
Sees a lot of moonshine around, no one has been drinking it for a while.

"Uuuhh...

I claim this as the twenty third bottle o'shine!"

[Skymonger]

No.
*takes twentieth bottle from crow.*

You have had enough.
Any more and im pretty sure your ass will start squirting liquid fire.

Look at Luharis over there. I'm pretty sure he's molesting that plank of wood in his sleep.
No doubt wanting his senpai to notice him. (Fucking yuno reject.)
Go out back. Take a piss, wash your face. I'll deal with Luharis before he starts behaving like a Titan.

*Drinks a bottle of moonshine*
Haaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~

Weak. Not like those fire shots from BDR...

[C r o w]

"But...but... It was MY bottle!
You will pay for this!"
Crow takes three bottles o'shine, dashes towards Skymonger, tackles him and makes Skymonger drink moonshine.

[Skymonger]

"No. Stop it. NO. Stop DAMN IT CROW STOP.
YOU ANNOYING BIRD I WILL SHOOT YOU"

"STOP"
*smashes a moonshine bottle on crows head. After drinking three shine bottles*

*burp*
"God damn it. I'm not gunna get drunk off of this..."
16 bottles of shine left.

[C r o w]

Crow goes on a table and dances vehemently offering a bottle o'shine to whoever wants it

[Lu Lu]

TSUNDERE ANGER UNLEASHED

YANDERE LUHARIS HAS TRANSFORMED INTO HIS TSUNDERE FORM!!!


 and promptly trips over a bottle of shine face planting on the floor, knocking himself out.

[Skymonger]

God damn it.

Not another wannabe Yuno. Let's see...where are the chains...?

*drinks another bottle of shine in self pity*

15 bottles now?
Ah here are the chains.
*ties Luharis to a toilet stall*
Now...when he wakes up, I'm sure he's gunna puke his brains out and start crying for yukiteru....that little male bitch still hasn't given me back my cellphone.

*drinks another bottle of shine in disgust*
14. Fuck. This tastes like WATER.

[C r o w]

Barman! I call shenanigans! That bottle tasted like water!
Wait a sec, let me check it.

Crow takes a sip from what shine remains in Skymonger bottle.
It tastes like shine!
Skymonger, you are home, go drunk!
Crow then throws a spoon in the general direction of Skymonger.

I'm getting sad.

Crow go and gets another bottle o'shine.
13!

[Carn]

Something that sounds akin to a bear is heard from a barrel labeled "Grog, do not drink until emergency."

"What did I miss?"

Carn grabs another bottle, chugs it, then throws it at Crow, "12"

[C r o w]

Turning towards the bear growls and catching the thrown bottle, Crow answers:
"Luha passed out, again, and a guy stole me bottle."

"Wait... What will happen when we run out o'shine?!?"
Crow starts "cawing" in dismay around the room.