99 Bottles

[Skymonger]

We do the smart thing, we chain our arms, legs, and dicks to any solid object to the room and wait until we sober up and regain our consciousness and SANITY, not that I have any use for it.

Then we hopefully wait for some SANE individual to unlock us.
And that person will be ME.

*drinks bottle o shine*
11. Still tastes like shit. Now what the hell is that bear doing in a barrel?

[C r o w]

"Sane people? Where do you think you are? This is the Pit Bar! Everyone here is drinking insanely and IS insane!"
*drink another whole bottle*
"10!"
*looks at the bear*
"The real question is: why is that bear so similar looking to Carn, and why is it still in the barrel?"

[Carn]

"I look like a bear?"

Carn looks into the mirror behind the bar, and immediately chug a bottle.

"9, good grief, I can understand the similarities.  I haven't shaved in months.  Also when we run out of shine, we just move on to other booze!"

[Skymonger]

* chugs shine*
"Eight! 8.
Smart choice. I've been dying to try out some Bdraznlines crazy tequila milkshakes in his bar. Somehow he buffs moonshine to fatal levels.
Totally my style of drinks."

"Now that I think about it..."
*squints intensely at the bear*

"Isn't that The Mann? He looks a little fuzzy sure...but I think that's a fur coat...huh...I didn't realize he was here. Must have passed out drinking 43 bottles. Lightweight"

[Carn]

"Actually it was the Grog that got me. The entire barrel.  The rum that morning probably didn't help."

Crawls out of the barrel and behind the bar, coming up with another bottle, recently emptied.

"7"

[Skymonger]

*chugs another bottle of shine*

"6"

Y know...maybe that was a bad combination.
Rum and moonshine?  Plus grog? It might have put you into a coma, but your body didn't know the difference. And so you ended up here.

Where's here...?
Chaladon?  How the hell did you end up in chaladonian lands Carn?
I last heard you were sand skiming in Arashi territories from friends.
THREE DAYS AGO.

the powers of a drunk are scary.
Traveling the entire globe in three days.
And I'm STILL trying to get drunk on this shitty shine!

*chugs*
5!

[Carn]

"Arashi? I don't remember the desert.  Hooked up with some buddies of mine back in Kinforth.  I remember the Grog barrel...... I think the buggers Shanghaid me! Anyone know my current bounty?"

Coming up with another bottle, Carn downs it.

"4"

[C r o w]

Crow sits on a table, put on glasses, takes a notebook out of his coat and reads.

"Your bounty Carn? Uuuh… here! You are wanted in Kinforth, by a barman, claiming that "He owes me an entire fraking barrel of grog, and the prize for your capture is a barrel of grog."
Then you are wanted also in the baronies, some angry nobleman claims that "I want a rematch against that barbarian, I won't let him out-drink me again!" with the prize being a pair of boots, a dozen of bullets and a pen."

Oh, here comes the fun part.

Crow chugs up another bottle o'shine.

"3"

"Now, the last, and bigger bounty on you is Yesha, 2000 pieces of Yeshan currency, you are wanted alive, with the claim being "The honour of my daughter was attacked by this vile barbarian, I want him to be brought to me alive so that he may make amends.". Now, this, is what usually happen when Yeshan noble-girl has a crush on someone, and her family can afford it."

[ShadedExalt]

Shaded walks in, a number of labourers carrying crates upon crates of Moonshine.

"Hey guys, the bartender was worried he was running out o' shine, so he offered to pay me with three bottles to deliver another 100!

*Chugs said three bottles*

[Skymonger]

God damn it shade.
This is a mistake. If they drink any more they WILL go into a coma!

Take this shit out of here!

[ShadedExalt]

Man, I gotta get paid first!

You think I used all that fuel for nothing?

[Skymonger]

Man I'll pay you if you go dump all this in Arashi territory out of my own fricken pocket!

I'll even add a bonus of Apple pie and strippers!
(Crow being the stripper) ahem...

At least Bring in a proper drink mixer, we can't drink Hard shine. Tastes like shit.

[ShadedExalt]

I have one of those in my pocket.  *Produces drink mixer.* Knock yourselves out.

[Skymonger]

I meant a proper bartender that can make drinks! AAAAGGGHHHHH

Fuck it. I give up.
I'll burn all of this shit myself!
*produces a box of matches*

[BdrLineAzn]

*Walks in after a long hiatus

Looks around....

Grabs a bottle and slowly walks out.*

Back to 99 bottles then, thanks Shaded.