(Me, after missing every single shot for a few minutes)
"THOSE WERE WARNING SHOTS. PLEASE ADVISE. THE ACTUAL HITS WILL NOW COMMENCE"
(Continues to miss)
"OUR WEAPONS HAVE NOW BEEN CALIBRATED. PREPARE TO BE SHELLED"
"OUR WEAPONS HAVE FOUND THEIR MARK. YOU SHALL FACE WITHERING FIRE!"
(Our level 2 captain pipes up after a solid five minutes without a single hit)
"Actually, he's just a bloody awful shot. Carry on with your victory."