When a new crew member joins in lobby I have a pretty standard script that I use (usually in private msgs), and goes something like this (depending on their class and their current loadout):
hello _ please bring _ tools and _ ammo.
you will be _ position
_ ammo is for _. dont use _ ammo because
aim at their _
I wait for a response and if there is none,
if you dont want to bring those, please join a different ship.
If I don't get any response then I'll probably tell them that I'm not starting the match until they bring it.
If I'm doing something wrong, I don't know what it is.
You don't know?
"if you dont want to bring those, please join a different ship."
This is a fair request. But it's a request, not an order with any authority.
"If I don't get any response then I'll probably tell them that I'm not starting the match until they bring it."
THIS is what you're doing wrong. You have one crew member who's causing a - probably minor - problem for you. Yes, you're the pilot and the captain, but you're also ONLY ONE CREW MEMBER. At this stage, with you being mildly annoyed, that's ONE player in the lobby who's annoyed. If you get over yourself, accept that there's only so much you can do to work around an uncommunicative player, and start, that's all the frustration the lobby will see. If you try and pressure someone - maybe someone who can't understand English, and has no clue what you're on about - and hold things up for half an hour or more, then people start leaving. Congratulations, YOU have annoyed EVERYONE. You're trying to spite someone when you don't know their reason for not answering or obeying you, and you're hurting the entire lobby. Instead of just one person being annoyed, it's now 16, 24, or maybe even 32 people who are annoyed.
Again, they don't have to join my ship if they want to use a bad loadout. Simple as that.
And THIS is what you're doing wrong. Request, and if the other person doesn't listen, DEAL WITH IT.
I will stall a match from starting until either the insubordinate or I decide to leave. This can be very frustrating for everyone in the lobby. Every captain who cares about their loadout has run into this problem innumerable times before where a crew members refuses to bring the stuff or change class etc. It's a waste of time and I don't see how it can be prevented. Maybe I am doing something wrong but I'm not the only one who can't always convince their crew.
THIS.
CAN.
BE.
VERY.
FRUSTRATING.
FOR.
EVERYONE.
You say you love teaching people about the game? You love playing too, clearly, or you wouldn't be as experienced as you are. You wouldn't be a high-level player in a well-respected clan. And you wouldn't be someone who I felt slightly guilty arguing with because I'm still a new guy here.
So, from that perspective of being a good fan, which would you prefer?
1. Everyone in the entire lobby (16 - 32 players) gets angry because in almost every match, there's one or two captains who need EVERYTHING to be PERFECT because it's THEIR ship and therefore THEIR loadouts for everyone. The match never starts until someone leaves - either the captain or their "insubordinate" who's there to have fun. They aren't there to try and ruin the game for you. They just want to PLAY.
2. One, maybe two captains get a little annoyed at not having their ship set up PERFECTLY the way they want it to be. They get some idiot who brings a spanner, mallet and buff hammer and rages when the fire extinguisher user decided to manage fires and repairs on other parts while they wait for the cooldown to end, then when they get back, the idiot with no firefighting gear has put the hull on cooldown again, so they run off to fix what they CAN fix in the meantime, rinse, repeat, and somehow it's "not my fault".
Yeah, it can be annoying when you're the one stuck dealing with THAT GUY (or girl). The above example actually happened to me the other day. But to be perfectly fair, it's you and people like you causing the "Lobbies of Icarus" problem. There are people who need their crew to do things how THEY want, and no other way. I've seen captains who have demanded things that make no sense. I've seen one captain who demanded burst rounds on an engineer who was only going to have gatling guns in reach. You say he has the right to hold up a match starting because is crew refuse to listen? I say he shouldn't have that right for the same reason you shouldn't. And it's nothing to do with either of you being wrong about what's best for your crew.
I actually think that crew members should be able to ready up independent of their captain, and if everyone on a ship except the captain is ready, that should mark the ship as ready as if the captain was ok with things. If your crew just want the game to start and not have a lobby to sit around in for ages, and you can't deal with that, YOU can leave. One person inconvenienced is better than 15+ who just want to get into a battle in the sky.
For competitive matches, or when you're running with friends who are happy with how you do things, great. Have all the control you want. You'll get well-reasoned discussions when you propose a change to someone's loadout and they disagree. You might learn something from letting a teammate do something different from your usual. You might teach them something instead. For public matches with crew you don't know, stop refusing to play and start playing. You'll get more time in-game, you'll see more crazy and random things, and you might sometimes have just as much fun as you do when things go smoothly.
I've been in a match where one of the captains spent half his time running around the ship loading lochnagar rounds into all the flamethrowers, and telling the crew to use the lochangar instead of switching ammo. Every time they disobeyed, he left the helm with the ship at full throttle, and took over their gun to switch back. It was a Squid, so leaving the ship at full throttle was a crazy move. At the end of the match, everyone was asking the captain to never do that again, but his whole crew - AND their friendly ship - were laughing. It wasn't just crazy, it was flat-out stupid. But it was still something everyone had fun with.
You're playing a game.
Games are about fun.
Sometimes, I think people forget that. When you're not with your friends, sure, go ahead, teach people and give them advice. But if they don't listen, DEAL WITH IT. Get out into the friendly skies, laugh when your flamethrower gets blown up firing a lochnagar shot. HAVE FUN.
Being entirely serious here, I'm worried about the plan to use "matchmaking" (details unspecified) in place of the current lobby system. They've implied that lobbies are going away somehow, and I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing, but that's a story for another thread.