How I introduce myself every match. I also like to pretend to be an airplane intercom when I say this.
"Hello this is your captain speaking. I'm Captain Coldcurse, nice to meet you all. Were currently on a junker because I love flying the junker. Guns can be found on the left, right, front, bottom left and bottom right. the hull can be found at the center and the balloon above my precious helm. There are no seatbelts on this vessel and I'm not responsible for your safety. Emergency exits are nowhere to be found because you can't escape me. I want the gunner to stay downstairs and my gungineer on the topdeck guns. The main engineer will keep us alive by slamming on various parts of the ship, thats an easy job if you know the priority list. If you are not familliar with my priority list then it will be the following:
1.Hull.
2.Balloon and sometimes guns.
3.Guns and engines.
Please follow my instructions and please speak english, I do not understand russian, japanese, Italian or Mandarin. Please be informed that thrashtalking and obscure language will be included into the voicechat. I don't care if you're offended by the language, just do your job and you will get complimented. If you have any questions related to this you can ask them now. if you didnt understand what I said, then leave my ship you deaf baffoon. Thank you."