I think part of the problem with Matchmaking is just how most of us are used something completely different from the game.
We were hoping from lobby to lobby to find a ship we like to play on, a crew to pilot for, a map to enjoy,
to find a balanced match. We were sitting in lobbies, swapping around, making custom lobbies with silly names, had all the time in the world inside the lobbies, more often than not even
too much time.
We joined on friends, left lobbies and running matches, joined running matches and spectated, just because.
MM ereases all our previous experiences and wants to force us to enjoy the new restrictive version on the same or even higher level, which is just not possible, at least for now. If flexibility stays, matchmaking will not work, so something has to change.
As I see it, the options are:
Revert back to the lobby list system. Probably not going to happen if Muse wants to keep their performance.
Allow players to not do anything in lobbies, but stay on their own team, which will make spectating only possible through joining as an actual spectater. Currently one is not able to swap around like one wants and can't just switch to the enemy teams crew/captain slot unless they switch to spectator first. (I am actually not 100% sure, because I didn't bother figuring out when you can switch to another slot and when not). Joining on friends here should not be possible when they are in a lobby, since it could change the balance. Joining friends when they are in a queue could be a thing though.
Allow players to do everything they could do before once they are in a lobby. As this will involve swapping of all kinds it is as problematic as the old lobby system as it has the potential to destroy the balance MM has created, if any balance was created at all. Although if MM manages to put similar skilled players into one lobby, how much balance can be destroyed, how bad would it really be to allow players to swap with anybody they want in the same lobby? (Excluding friends joining the lobby on their own free wil.l)
Doing 30% this and 57% that doesn't work out.
Features that hurt balance
...
Lobby leaving without penalty
I doubt that leaving lobby with a penalty will improve balance.
And I too am a victim of joining as a second gunner thanks to matchmaking, it even said gunners are a needed class!