Author Topic: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)  (Read 79440 times)

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« on: June 10, 2015, 11:21:58 am »
BOOM, iunno what sort of rule-breaking content you expected from the title. But now that I have your attention, don't some of the loadouts just beg for an innuendo? Like, can I please penetrate your hull with my harpoon...? And then, maybe use the flamethrower to turn up the heat...? And finish with a carronade all over you?

Get creative, but if you get yourselves smacked by the mods, then don't cry to me.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2015, 04:08:55 pm by Queso »

Offline David Dire

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2015, 12:30:57 pm »
Name your Harpoon Mobula "Ben Dover"

Name your Junker "Gonna explode"

Name your Ram Goldfish "Lot's of thrusting"
« Last Edit: June 10, 2015, 12:33:34 pm by David Dire »

Offline Queso

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2015, 12:36:07 pm »
*sighs and begins polishing ban hammer just in case*

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2015, 12:44:53 pm »
*sighs and begins polishing ban hammer just in case*

Yeah, keeping PG myself. Like I said, their fault if they can't do the same.

Offline David Dire

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2015, 01:48:30 pm »
*sighs and begins polishing ban hammer just in case*

That's about as far as I'd been willing to go to be honest.

Offline Queso

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2015, 01:49:55 pm »
I'm disappointed that nobody turned my post into innuendo.

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2015, 02:03:24 pm »
I'm disappointed that nobody turned my post into innuendo.

Lol sorry - we are just a bit afraid of you =P
Banhammer, eh? Will you ban us? To your dungeon? Can we see that hammer of yours again...? All polished? Especially the head?

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2015, 04:54:25 am »
The Galleon looks at Queso's ban hammer and gets a sultry look on her hull. Her engines quiver and her balloon trembles as her Hwacha's flutter as if saying,"Come on and hammer me big boy."

*Runs before Rethburn sees this thread
« Last Edit: June 11, 2015, 04:56:05 am by Gilder Unfettered »

Offline Kamoba

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2015, 07:50:18 am »
Queso's Hammer goes up, as his blood pumps faster, his breathing grows heavier as he aims his hammer as her hull, his hammer need only thrust into position and beat the hull repeatedly and he will relieve her of the pressure building deep in her boiler...


Now look I don't know about you guys, but.I'm just writing about Queso.fixing a ship, Gilders post is totally innocent!

Offline Koali

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Re: The naughty airships...
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2015, 03:59:41 pm »
That was surprisingly erotic.

I'M OUTTA HERE

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2015, 04:53:09 pm »
That is it, you asked for this. I am no Rethburn but here goes:

The pilot walked though the cavernous airship hanger listening to the pump and hiss of steam flowing through pipes. Hot sticky condensation dripped off every exposed surface. Seven airships filled the space, each uncrewed and idle, each yearning to take to the skies under the pilot's masterful hands.

He had lately been favoring the Pyramidion. She was a battle scared warhorse whose dense armor plating had carried the pilot through many sticky situations. From the blunt ramming beak to her massive center propulsion engine the Pyramidion made no secret of her approach to war, her lust for sudden and immediate violence. He knew she was capable of finesse but any time he tried such things with her he felt a certain degree of resentment. They both knew there was nothing she wanted more than to slam another ship into a wall and pound her until she fell to pieces.

Further down the hanger sat the galleon with her massive guns dejectedly muzzled for safety. Where the Pyramidion was a fiery and aggressive the Galleon was imposing and steadfast. At almost twice the mass of the next largest ship in the hanger she had a presence about her nobody could ignore. In fact her imposing countenance often attracted unwanted attention. Ofter two or three enemy ships would jump her and try to pound her into submission. However her sturdy frame had not once given in. The pilot respected the Galleon's roll in the field. At her helm he felt a comfort and level of protection that was unrivaled in the skies.

Yet thoughts of comfort or protection evaporated as the pilot's eyes fell upon the squid. She had a dancer's frame, full of youth and energy. Everything about her from her upturned nose to the four dainty maneuvering engines at her stern exuded a delicate playfulness. He yearned for the flirtatious manner in which she would dance outside an opponents gun arcs, the way a quick burst of hydrogen would send her soaring into the stratosphere, and how a little bit of moonshine could get her careening through the canyons at ludicrous speeds. They said it was reckless to taker her out but today the pilot was feeling a little reckless.

Before the voice of reason could talk him out of it, he sprang onto her deck and cast off the mooring lines that had bound the squid to the earth. As his hands slid the throttle open her engines purred in response. For the first time in ages he felt truly alive. The scant armor covering her nubile form added to the thrill. The pilot felt gleefully exposed as he rose into the chilly morning sky. As he glanced over the side of the squid he could see the ground rushing away from him.

As they rose into the blanket of clouds he pilot wondered out loud how he could have gone so long without this. He could feel every quiver of her rigging through his feet, and the way her propellers sliced through the sky in his hands. For one moment of pure bliss they became as one, man and machine working in perfect harmony. But that moment could not last forever and as his senses returned to him the voice of doubt began to whisper into his ear.

"You are a danger to yourself and others, she doesn't have the firepower to last in the open skies, what if you hit a mine?" That nagging voice told him.

Tears filled the pilots eyes as he sorrowfully spun the ship around and put her on a course back to the hanger. She responded as light and nimbly as she always had, but there was a heaviness to his flying. His mind had already began working in the pattern of the more brutish Pyramidion. Her engines sputtered on final approached the hanger as if to ask the pilot "Is this what you really want? We had a thing you and I, you can't deny how it felt out there." But the pilot's mind was set as he bound her to the ground with the same mooring lines he gleefully kicked free mere minutes ago.

As he dismounted, he rested his head against her hull. "If only it weren't so dangerous out there. If only you could carry enough fire power to make the other captains to see you as a threat." She did not respond, her engines had already gone silent, and that more than anything else broke the pilot's heart.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2015, 05:11:37 pm by HamsterIV »

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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Re: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2015, 04:57:00 pm »
I see my thread has been marked as not safe for work. This, I shall remember as an achivement.

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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Re: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2015, 05:00:53 pm »
*Halfway into Hamster's post*
Ooooh... OH - oooh... This is going to be a fantastic read, I can already tell.

Offline David Dire

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Re: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2015, 07:27:14 pm »
I see my thread has been marked as not safe for work. This, I shall remember as an achivement.

Maybe I'll use this thread to get help writing Clopfics for nerds on a different forum.

Will that also be an achievement.     

Offline Dr Brobotnik

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Re: The naughty airships... (Definitely probably maybe NSFW)
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2015, 05:45:42 am »
I see my thread has been marked as not safe for work. This, I shall remember as an achivement.

Maybe I'll use this thread to get help writing Clopfics for nerds on a different forum.

Will that also be an achievement.     

Haha, as long as you're having fun!