Generally speaking, both ships (in a 2v2) do not go down at the same time. In most cases the enemy ships have been spotted, and as long as your ally is still spotting them, they actually appear on your map when you choose to spawn. Not to mention that they usually don't move too far after they kill you, especially if you're ally is nearby (which they should be, unless they just died.)
Some people say that it ruins a sniping build and promotes a brawl build, but that's not really true. If you have a long range build, just choose to spawn far away from your enemy. They can certainly spawn on your face and kill you, but then you just spawn far away and take them out again. It doesn't necessarily promote one or the other, but it does make it difficult for ships to survive any decent length of time.
Really the more I play with it, the more I dislike being able to choose my spawn. I've become accustomed to spawning further away and using that time to communicate with my crew what went right and wrong with the last death we had, letting them know the plan as we approach for engagement. However, it's far too beneficial to spawn right on them as soon as possible. It's a lot of back and forth constant fighting and not as much being able to maneuver and use the terrain to your advantage, which is something I miss.