Off-Topic > The Lounge
The Codex of Zuka
Zuka'Esrai:
--- Quote from: Surette on August 11, 2013, 11:47:57 pm ---
--- Quote from: Gilder de Unfettered on August 11, 2013, 05:55:59 pm ---/facepalm...epic fail to get the joke.../facepalm
--- End quote ---
Wasn't commenting on any joke, was commenting on how Ashly Burch is awesome and is totally worthy of marriage.
--- End quote ---
The Zuka shall have them BOTH! Tiny Tina will be mine! Not even the peasantry can bar me from my one true love!
HamsterIV:
Since when have you let the peasantry bar you from anything?
Squidslinger Gilder:
"Zuka once released a cologne called Zukcess because "Women love the smell of Zukcess"
"Zuka was picketed by PETS (people for the ethical treatment of Skywhales) after it was revealed that Zukcess was tested on them. Zuka was quoted as saying,"Quiet peasants! You only wish you were worthy of Zukcess like those whales!"
"Whales sprayed with Zukcess unfortunately could not be returned to the wild due to their risk to the species and passing airships. Side effects included grossly inflated egos, gargantuan genital enlargement, and an unhealthy infatuation with butts."
"Zuka keeps the Zukcess whales in his pool where the are fed a strict alcohol diet to keep them docile."
HamsterIV:
* Most captains put Zuka on the front gun of their squids so they can check out his fabulous posterior from the helm.
* Zuka Manning the Front Gun (ZMFG) is official Browning Airship Insurance Company's designation for all airship on inanimate object collisions.
* ZMFG's account for 80% of all insurance claims made to to the Browning Airship Insurance Company last year.
* There was a 200% increase in ZMFG's ever since Zuka bought a pair of neon yellow hot pants.
* The Browning Airship Insurance Company has put a $20,000 bounty on Zuka's hot pants.
* When a bounty hunter tried to collect on Zuka's hot pants she ended up covered in Zuka Sauce and whispering "Dirty Peasant" over and over.
Squidslinger Gilder:
"Attack on Titan was originally set to be called Attack on Zuka. The story was changed when Zuka demanded his Titan form have a penis."
"Zuka was not pleased with the change to Attack on Zuka so he made it himself...Zuka ended up being the only male actor in the entire cast."
"In a recent poll, when it comes time for parents to give children "the talk," most responded saying they referred them to an episode of Attack on Zuka to explain it all."
"In the same poll, 90% of respondents stated their children now had a new sense of purpose for their lives, 8% developed cannibalistic tendencies, and the final 2% curled up in the fetal position and had to be admitted to Zuka's asylum."
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