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The Codex of Zuka

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Squidslinger Gilder:
"It was Zuka who taught Morgan Freeman how to narrate, but it was Morgan Freeman who taught Zuka how to subdue the peasantry with Morgan Freeman's voice"
"The Earth is a terraforming product of a single stern ram by Zuka"
"Venus is a product of a few too many stern rams by Zuka"
"When asked why Zuka couldn't see an object the size of a planet and thus rammed into it, Zuka said,"Because it was there, therefore I hit it!"

HamsterIV:
* Zuka and George Takei  have an ongoing "Oh my!" contest where they try to turn strait men gay and gay women strait by uttering the phrase "Oh my!" in the most suggestive way possible.
* Zuka is currently in the lead by two lesbians and a male gymnast .
* When Zuka is too sexy for his shirt, the shirt will bursts into flames.
* Justin Timberlake's song "Bringing Sexy Back" is a reference to the one time Zuka was apprehended by authorities while trying to flee a town.
* No charges were filed because Zuka is too damn sexy.

HamsterIV:
* There is enough alcohol and oxygen in Zuka's blood that it can be used as rocket fuel.
* There is an IV line running from Zuka to his engines.
* When Zuka gets excited, his ship goes faster.
* When Zuka offers you a "pro tip," he is not offering you advice.
* If Zuka's ship ever looses its balloon, Zuka can count on a hoard of dirty peasants clamoring for his autograph to cushion his fall.

Squidslinger Gilder:
"To maintain topspeed Zuka only permits women on his crews in slave girl outfits"
"How Zuka's crews handle high altitude or cold weather climates is unknown as they rarely leave Zuka's ship or side. But scientists hypothesize Zuka's Aura may be able to radiate enough heat to keep scantily clad women warm down to the temp of absolute zero"
"Zuka once brought summer to the people of Firnfeld by yelling out "CAST OFF THY CLOAKS PEASANT WENCHES!!"
"This led to the saying,"Wherever Zuka goes, a beer commercial follows"

HamsterIV:
* The Zukafactory which manufactures Zukadolls is staffed entirely by people who could be underwear models.
* Workers at the Zukafactory have chosen to dedicate their lives to recreating Zuka's likeness which they say is "more fulfilling than anything else they could be doing."
* Nobody knows what goes on inside the Zukafactory but Zuka and the employees.
* Every Sunday a truck delivers 500 liters of Jack Daniels and 800 Magnum condoms to the Zuka factory.
* There are five golden tickets, secretly encased in the packaging of five Zuka dolls, inviting "Those of sufficient stamina" to tour the Zukafactory.
* Zuka says "Make Love not War"
* Zuka's idea of "Making Love"  involves Airships, artillery, and a copious amount of ramming.
* Zuka's idea of "Making War" is so horrifying those who have witnessed it and survived are locked in an asylum where their deranged rantings can only drive each other deeper into the pit of madness.
* The Asylum is where Creepy Zuka Dolls are manufactured.

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