Proper Procedure for Summoning RethBurn?

[ShadedExalt]

How does one accomplish this?  Is it through the use of necromantic arts?  A ritual chant?  Yelling RethBurn really loud?

[Andika]

Try this:

http://youtu.be/s9HijiKVvKE?t=18s

[zlater75@hotmail.com]

Alternatives:

- Turn off the lights, start watching a mech vid, after 5 minutes, slowly turn around and fumble in the dark. The shadow or thing you touch, standing behind you, is The Rethburn.
- Type in global chat on GOIO you have contacts for receiving large amounts of Danish lager and the first PM you get is from The Rethburn.
- Make a random crewformation and, again, type in global you need a Munker captain, The Rethburn logged in message appears and you have a captain.
- Play drunk for 3 hours in European prime time. You will have played with The Rethburn at least 4 times on the same team.

Good luck. May the Reth be with you.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

Bully Boys trade secret...we could tell you, but then we'd have to Rethburn you.

You don't want to know what that means...

[RethBurn]

T̤o͟ ͚̥͕̳̱̣̟͜i̻̭nv̶̥̜͓̱͚̖̤o̻͙̺͙̗͔k̹̥̝̭̪ę̲̘̼̞ ̖̱t̺̗̖̮h̢̞͚͍̜̰ͅè ̤̖̘͚̝̥̱hi̹͚͕̪͉̻ve͈͇͓̥̲̕ͅ-̡͓̖͚m̺i̡̼̙̯̜ń͉̥͎͍̪d͖͈̫ ̲̞͇̕r̪̬̯̤̫ẹp͈̦r̜ͅe̮͙͉͖̭̤s̺e̶͔͖̟͕n͉̬̗̱t̠i҉̳͚n̨̙͔̞̳g̭̪ ̧̗Ŗ̘e̩̩̳̳̰̼̹t̜͠ḩb͎͉̱̯̬̪͖u̮̭͙̩͉͚͙r̶̗͙̙̣̻͍n͉͡.̶͔
͙̗͙̲͎͙̦͞I̘̱͙͡n̯͓v͔o̩̱͕͙̝̱͜k̼̣͓͔ị̜͟ņ̻͈̼̲g̜͙͓̠̜̯ ̝͇̰̥̰̖̠ṱ̜͚̱̬͞ẖ̪e̘͕̫͔̩ ͎͇̭̤̻f̴ę̪e͇̩̼͘l̳̯͇͈ͅi̻̳̲͠n̞̮̱̝g̜͈͔̻ ̧̦o̷f͎̩͜ ̥̪Fạ̴̠n̫͕̖̺͞f̯̘̘͓ḭ̪̺̦͕͡c͇̫̩̪̼͓t̜̝̺i̛̫o̡̦n.̯̞͓̩̠̭͚
͇͞W̟̠͝i̸̱͖͕̳̟̰t̸̰͖̤͚͙̥h̶̞͕̟̱̟͕ ̵o̢͚̺̼u̲͎t̗͎͙̠̰͔͜ ̶̳̱͔̝l̠̭̤͇͖ͅi̻̭m͢i̡̝͉̝t̵̬͓̻͈͎s̱̞͉͕̼͡.̪̺
͙̪̞͎̮̀ͅT̳̯͎͈̹̼h̹͙̯͉͕̫e̘̱͈̠̭̹͈ ̟̗B̳͔̹ṷ̸͖̙l̘͉̦̫͉̱l̡͙̠͚̜͉͇ỵ̥̠̰ ̲̗̻͎̳͢B͇͙̱̬͕o͙y̛̙̪͔̫s͇̭͙̩͓̣̹͘ ̞͓̣̝͈͉͢h͇͠i̴̖v̜͉̗̺̪͈̻͞e̖̳ͅ-̟̞̼͔͕̣͕m͓į̼̼̠n͓d̡̥̦̼͔̻͓ ͓̮͇o͠f͖̬̱̜͕̠ ̦̦̰͠ͅc͡h̠a̴̬o͔̣̭s̥͍̲̭̕.̟͖̮͉͎̮͓ ͇̠̦R̳̳̪̩͔͞e͇̪̟̤̫t̘̲̪̤̺̖̪h͉̤̘B͘ú͍̟̙̙͓r҉̫̲̫͚̱̟ͅn͉͚.̡̥͚͍̹̻͓̬
͔͙H̛e͏̪ ͡w͞h̹͞o͓ ̤̠̀W̞͍̘̜a̸͕it̗̱͕ş̺̙ ̫̰͚̼̦̖̤B̗̻e͇h̝͜ị̣̻̙̦̫n͈̜̻̞̬͈̠͘d̲̺̣͕̞̣ ̧̻̜̝Th͇͚ḙ͔̀ ̡̳͈͙̻̜̻ͅT̜̗̣̖͖͖w͍̣̻̜͇̟i̭͝t̫c͎̗̬̦͜h̳͓͇̤̳ͅ-̭̦̠̙̮͕͘C͍̘̲̮̖̞̫͡h̬̞̺a̮̞̼̹͈͇̲t̯͇̹̠͜.̰
̹̺̬̰̠̥R̮̫͢E͍͝T̛H͈̜B̥̦͉U͔͙͎̝͍͕͟R͎̩̹̹͘ͅN͞!̞̭͞

[Squidslinger Gilder]

Rethburn put some pants on!

[zlater75@hotmail.com]

  I thought The Rethburn and The Zuka considered pants similar to kryptonite or some form of weakness?
But maybe it's just a myth.
Scientists have for decades tried to dress them up with pants but they break upon impact or first breath. Some say a pair of pants survived for 5 seconds but no record or proof of it. The quest for durable pants continues. It's a mystery still unsolved.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

Zuka prefers edible pants. The underwear just didn't last long enough and the peasantry demanded a proper food stimulus plan. Unfortunately for Zuka, he now has to wear a different flavor every day of the week.

[macmacnick]

Summoning Rethburn? Oh that's an Easy one.
Summoning Reth—A guide for the uninitiated.
Resources needed:
1x Fanfiction, for the energy needed to force an opening in the fabric of the universe that summons Reth. (Slashfiction works best, however. Especially if it is provocative.)
3x Pints (UK) of the finest Danish lager for the substance of the spell.
1x 100 mL bottle of high-grade orphan tears.
5x powder monkeys' crushed hopes and dreams.
7x Candles, seated in ritualistic braziers.
1x Sudan red paint and paintbrush
7x Red roses
390x Red rose petals
1x Incense brazier stocked with incense
1x Mixing bowl and wooden spoon
1x lighter
Step One: Mix the formula
Begin by pouring the powder monkeys' crushed hopes and dreams into a bowl, and add in about 50 mL of orphan tears. Mix throughly. Next, pour in the 3 UK pints of the Danish lager. Add in a hint of Sudan red dye. Mix throughly and vigorously. Let the mixture settle for about five minutes.
Step Two: Setting up the summoning area
Using the Sudan red paint and the brush, begin by arranging the ritualistic Candles equidistant, at 7 points in a circle. Inscribe in the circle a 7-pointed star, the Heptagram. Be sure that the candles remain unlit. Scatter the red roses and rose petals around the area.
Step Three: Prepare the candles and light the Incense Brazier
Prepare the candles by painting their wicks with the Sudan Red summoning formula, giving the flames an adequate amount of fuel to burn. Bottle the leftover solution in a quartz bottle with an aged cork stopper. This remaining solution will be used to summon RethBurn in the Future. Light the incense brazier.
Step Four: Lighting the candles
Light the candles in a counterclockwise manner, starting with the southernmost of the candles, until all candles are lit.
Step Five:  The Summoning
With the Fanfiction in hand, read out the summoning spell: "Rethburn , conjuro te , pro mea in consequentia , quae ad te pertinebunt"
Now, Read aloud the fanfiction, and with the final words of it, the spell will be complete, and the fanfiction will disintegrate. Rethburn has been summoned.

[Indreams]

T̤o͟ ͚̥͕̳̱̣̟͜i̻̭nv̶̥̜͓̱͚̖̤o̻͙̺͙̗͔k̹̥̝̭̪ę̲̘̼̞ ̖̱t̺̗̖̮h̢̞͚͍̜̰ͅè ̤̖̘͚̝̥̱hi̹͚͕̪͉̻ve͈͇͓̥̲̕ͅ-̡͓̖͚m̺i̡̼̙̯̜ń͉̥͎͍̪d͖͈̫ ̲̞͇̕r̪̬̯̤̫ẹp͈̦r̜ͅe̮͙͉͖̭̤s̺e̶͔͖̟͕n͉̬̗̱t̠i҉̳͚n̨̙͔̞̳g̭̪ ̧̗Ŗ̘e̩̩̳̳̰̼̹t̜͠ḩb͎͉̱̯̬̪͖u̮̭͙̩͉͚͙r̶̗͙̙̣̻͍n͉͡.̶͔
͙̗͙̲͎͙̦͞I̘̱͙͡n̯͓v͔o̩̱͕͙̝̱͜k̼̣͓͔ị̜͟ņ̻͈̼̲g̜͙͓̠̜̯ ̝͇̰̥̰̖̠ṱ̜͚̱̬͞ẖ̪e̘͕̫͔̩ ͎͇̭̤̻f̴ę̪e͇̩̼͘l̳̯͇͈ͅi̻̳̲͠n̞̮̱̝g̜͈͔̻ ̧̦o̷f͎̩͜ ̥̪Fạ̴̠n̫͕̖̺͞f̯̘̘͓ḭ̪̺̦͕͡c͇̫̩̪̼͓t̜̝̺i̛̫o̡̦n.̯̞͓̩̠̭͚
͇͞W̟̠͝i̸̱͖͕̳̟̰t̸̰͖̤͚͙̥h̶̞͕̟̱̟͕ ̵o̢͚̺̼u̲͎t̗͎͙̠̰͔͜ ̶̳̱͔̝l̠̭̤͇͖ͅi̻̭m͢i̡̝͉̝t̵̬͓̻͈͎s̱̞͉͕̼͡.̪̺
͙̪̞͎̮̀ͅT̳̯͎͈̹̼h̹͙̯͉͕̫e̘̱͈̠̭̹͈ ̟̗B̳͔̹ṷ̸͖̙l̘͉̦̫͉̱l̡͙̠͚̜͉͇ỵ̥̠̰ ̲̗̻͎̳͢B͇͙̱̬͕o͙y̛̙̪͔̫s͇̭͙̩͓̣̹͘ ̞͓̣̝͈͉͢h͇͠i̴̖v̜͉̗̺̪͈̻͞e̖̳ͅ-̟̞̼͔͕̣͕m͓į̼̼̠n͓d̡̥̦̼͔̻͓ ͓̮͇o͠f͖̬̱̜͕̠ ̦̦̰͠ͅc͡h̠a̴̬o͔̣̭s̥͍̲̭̕.̟͖̮͉͎̮͓ ͇̠̦R̳̳̪̩͔͞e͇̪̟̤̫t̘̲̪̤̺̖̪h͉̤̘B͘ú͍̟̙̙͓r҉̫̲̫͚̱̟ͅn͉͚.̡̥͚͍̹̻͓̬
͔͙H̛e͏̪ ͡w͞h̹͞o͓ ̤̠̀W̞͍̘̜a̸͕it̗̱͕ş̺̙ ̫̰͚̼̦̖̤B̗̻e͇h̝͜ị̣̻̙̦̫n͈̜̻̞̬͈̠͘d̲̺̣͕̞̣ ̧̻̜̝Th͇͚ḙ͔̀ ̡̳͈͙̻̜̻ͅT̜̗̣̖͖͖w͍̣̻̜͇̟i̭͝t̫c͎̗̬̦͜h̳͓͇̤̳ͅ-̭̦̠̙̮͕͘C͍̘̲̮̖̞̫͡h̬̞̺a̮̞̼̹͈͇̲t̯͇̹̠͜.̰
̹̺̬̰̠̥R̮̫͢E͍͝T̛H͈̜B̥̦͉U͔͙͎̝͍͕͟R͎̩̹̹͘ͅN͞!̞̭͞

This is literally going to give me nightmares, and I don't even know who Rethburn is.

[HamsterIV]

This is literally going to give me nightmares, and I don't even know who Rethburn is.

It is better this way, just what ever you do don't look up Rethburn Fan Fiction.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You have gone and done it haven't you.

[Mod Josie]

It is better this way, just what ever you do don't look up Rethburn Fan Fiction.

.

You have gone and done it haven't you.

When I looked up "Rethburn Fanfiction" on Google.
Enjoy...

[RethBurn]

When I looked up "Rethburn Fanfiction" on Google.
Enjoy...

[̮̭͍s͖̤̬̪͇̜͝]̤̞̙͇͜m̨̮̩̯e̖͔śͅs̶͕̞͈a̸̼͖͖̞̻͈̜g͙͇͇̝̼e̵̺̠ r̪̖̟͉͇̣̩e̜̹d̩͔̪̖̦̻a͙̱̠̼̝͕̠c͔̬͉͉͎͘ͅt̡éd͙̹̹̬̫̖̪[̺͓̹̲̘͢/̤̙̦̼s̪̹̪͕̦̦̩]҉̲̜̦͇̹ ̹i͕͖̞̯̫s̸̩͈ ̣͕̫̯͉͟ͅa͈͙̫̹̣̹̜̕ ͔̥͕̻̜f҉̤u̻t̞ͅù̲͈̩̫̦̬r̭͖̩̫̤ḭ̩͉͕ͅs̷t̫͙͚i̢̳̺̯̩̥̰̝c͇̮͠ ͔̼̻̩͜w̡̟̱̙̮̣ͅo̠̭̪̥̠͙r̴͖l͕d͝,̩̮͎̝͉́ s̺ę̞̱̳̞̪̙̖t̨͕̭̳ ̙̪̝͕̺̥4͍̝̞̠̝0͉̪͎̱̕ ̻̬̼̫͔̜͜y͓̣͙͟e̬̳̣ͅạ̷̖͕̜r̪̲̘̞̮s̗̥͝ ̳͚̬͇ͅͅa҉̝̬̖͔̖̗h̵̯e̠͔̲͎͓̝ḁ̙̺͇ḏ̬͚͓͕͇̮́ ̟͖͔̖̤̀in̶̪̱̹͓ ̸̰̭̟̲͙D͙e̢̬͎͈͍nma̪͡r̻͔̼͎͚k̙͖͝.̶̹̩ ̷͔̼T̨̝̗͖̦̥ͅh͉̫̺̩̬̜e͎̫̭̫͙ ̞͞sto̟̥͚r̺̠̣̻͞y̥͙̳̭̻̜ ̨ṟ̪̝̠e͚̫̤̯̮̲͚̕v̟͟o̼̘l̞̭̞̣̣̙v̲̫̫̺̜̤e͘s ̛̠͖͚̤͔͚a̹̱r̭̯̣̟̣̟̕o̯̬̺̜͙ͅu͉̬̝͚͖̦͉n̫͓͟d ̘̪ͅt̡̯͙h̢̤͈̰ͅȩ̺͙̪̱ ̣̭̕g̩̖r͓̬̼͎̞̥e̩̩̳̳͓a̼̫̫̖̖͚t͏͍̹̦͚ ͏̝̦̹R̴͇͓ȩ̺̪̫̮t̳̦̳̠hb͈̱͇ų̤̖͕͖̫r̜͓̩̭̙̜̯n ̖̜̠H͕͠i̬̘͓̹ͅg̹̦̟͘h̴̼̱̮͇͎,̬̩ͅͅ ͚̞̪̙̠ḁ̷͎͇̱̩ ͇̟̥͉͖ͅs̸̗̩̰̥͖̼c̀h͖̥̻o͏̲̳̳o̲̰̲͡l͇̖͕͓͢ ͈̦̳̻k̷n̵̥̝͚̠̣̹͓o̢͇͕̭̫͕͚̬w̨̗̬̞͇͙̖̝n̛ t̰ơ͉̯̰ ̪͔͍͇̳m̗͔͝a̖̬n̵̬̫͚y̮̼͙̼̱̲ ͈͙͇̩f̧͚ò̗͕r̜͔̪͕̩̼ i͔̯̖̩̱̱͡t'̡̩s̴̯̥͍ [̳͎̬͝u̩]͉̙͠è̥̥͕x͇̪̪̞͚q̛̩̣̗̩̻ṷ͍̤͎̬̤̣ị̻̲̭̬̫̰́s̺̺̰̖̻̫͠i̻̫͖t̨e̫̙̣̞̹̫̜ ̗̤͖̞̤̘ͅq̕ͅu͏̦̜̘̲̹i͔̙s̫̳̺i͎̩n̳͓ͅe͙͓̹̰̙̫̯[̭͙͢/̼̺̝͖̭̭̕ư]͉͚̹́.͏̳̺̝̹͓ ̴̦̲̥͍̬ͅͅ
̬̪
̨̝͓͔̜̞̪͙I̡͎n͙̯̠͉̠ ̺͚̝̗̩̮ó̭̬ͅt̕h̩̪͓̪̪ḛ̠̖͕̳r̤͇̗ ̢̜̹n̻̗̣̲͕e̟̤w̪̦̻̙̫͉̟ś̺̣͔̥̼͔̞.̭̘͖̣̠͔͔ ̴I͈͎̣̫̞̘̮ ̫̗͕͖̳f͎͍̪͔e͍͈̬͎e̴̖͍͓͎l̼͜ a͉͕̙̼̖s̴̟͚̭̻ ̷i͓̰f̟̫̯ ͎̰̦t̝̣h̳i̸͎̣̩s͎̞̬̼̪ ͚̗̮i̡͇̳̼͍̜s̩͚̭ ͍͇͝a̪̤̜n͉̹̟ͅ ̷̩o͓͖͕͔̦͖̭͝m̻ḛ̢̱͙̭ń̦̙͇̟̩͖͕ ̺͎̞͈̭a͚̱ͅb̦͇͔̹o̧̞u̷̳̼t̕ ̛͇̺̳̩ͅm̢̞̣̻̫̟͉͕y̻̖̥̕ ͈̹̪̝f̲̮̻̼̣̤̪ut̡̘̺̝͇͇̱u̵̙͓̜̮̝͙̼re̩̪̻̠̖̲.̝͙̻̯̙̬̕ͅ

[Piemanlives]

Rethburn, you're sober, stop it it's scaring me!

[RethBurn]

S̤͡H͘H͓̪̀ ̥̭̠P̰͚̬I̝̭̲͕̦̟Ę̤͔͎̠͍M͈̗͢A͉ͅͅŅ.̲̻̺̮̘̬̙͟ ̡̜͉̜I͍͚͕̜̙̙̦M ̞̥Y̮̹̘O͔͉̠͖͔̹̯U͝R͙͈̺̯̫ ̭͔̖͔͇͟B̖̻͓̤͉̱͡ͅO̲̪Y͉͉̦̦̠F͈͇̻̞̣̹͔R̻͈͓̞̜͔̭I͔͎͝E̠͖͠N̵̙͔̲̯͔͚̼D̗̳͉̥̰̫̗͡ ͈N̝͓̝̳̯̹̕ÓW,͙̣͓̜͓̮̀ ̢̱̲̞̠̼ͅN͖͔̳͇̺͇͔͠A̗̲͟N̯C̯̟̳͈Y̹̫̤̺̫͎