Since noobs/Powder monkeys/FNG's are not going to read this thread before they inflict their presence upon us, the slang we use is mostly for communicating between experienced players. To that end we should make the slang we use the most precise for explaining our situation to the other captains.
I propose different terms for players who do not follow orders, players who join as the wrong class, players who do both, and players that are just new but with the correct equipment and attitude. The effectiveness of a ship will vary depending on what sort of noob jumps on board.
Having a new player who listens will mean the ship will be less effective for a minute or two while they are given a brief run down of what to do. Getting the wrong class means the ship can't repair damage at the same rate and should not take the brunt of the enemy's attack. Getting a player who doesn't listen means the ship might as well surrender unless the player can be convinced to leave.