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Messages - LazyPandas

Pages: [1] 2
1
The Pit / Re: Songs of Icarus
« on: April 30, 2015, 07:24:40 pm »
I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST
PYRAMIDION THERE EVER WAS
TO MORTAR THEM IS MY REAL TEST
TO RAM THEM IS MY CAUSE

I WILL KEROSENE ACROSS THE LAND
HYDROGINING FAR AND WIDE
THESE GALLEONS, WILL UNDERSTAND
THE GATLING FIRE THATS INSIDEEE

PYRAMIDION OH ITS YOU AND ME
SOMETHING SOMETHING DESTINY
YOU RAM ME AND I RAM YOU (no homo)
PYRAMIIIDIIIIOOONNN

GOTTA RAM EM ALL GOTTA RAM EM ALL
PYRA-MI-DIOONNN

2
Sir,

I wish to introduce myself to you. i am Col. Lazy Panda Bear (Lazypandas for short), elder brother to major Nat Nyls of Scotland who was the former chief security officer to the military dictator of Nigeria, general Jubulus Dishwasherus Maximus (aka Jub Jub). the late general died unexpectedly on the 29th of march 2015. His colleagues in the army poisoned him in the presidential villa (aso rock) because he ruled Nigeria and SPQR with an iron hand.

 With the death of the dictator, elections were held in the country and a civilian administration was sworn into power. with the advent of the new civilian administration, a decision was taken by the president of Nigeria to probe and prosecute all military officers that served in the last military regime of the late general Jubulus Dishwasherus Maximus. my brother, Nat Nyls el Mustapha was singled out by the government of the day as an army officer that must be punished because of his closeness to the late dictator and gross human right abuses on the citizens of Nigeria. my brother and i were best of friends and he shared all his secrets with me. the former chief security officer to the late head of state major Boneses el Boneses had private accounts that are worth 100 million united states dollars around the world. presently he has been arrested by the government of the day and is presently held in prison on trumped up charges on behalf of the state. i was directly informed by my contacts at the presidential villa, that he will be convicted because of his position as the former chief security officer to the late dictator.

 shortly before the present government arrested my brother, he entrusted to me the sum of us$30.5m for safekeeping. this amount was to be sent to his main engineer KitKatKitty in Lebanon to launder for him. i have since had this amount with me stashed away a private security company in Nigeria. i cannot send this money to my brother's main engineer any more because of the situation of things over here. i need your assistance in moving and securing this money in your account abroad. i will adequately compensate you with 20% of the total sum for your assistance and co- operation with me to move this fund out of the country.

 the present administration collectively retired ninety-two serving officers including myself a couple of months ago. this money is not safe where it is kept any more because there are indications that all the retired officers might have their estate confiscated as part of the current sanitation exercise to stop corruption in the country. already our various private bank accounts have been frozen pending the outcome of their investigation and we are being closely monitored. i intend to safeguard and invest this amount of money abroad with a reliable foreign business partner so that we can invest the funds in real estate business in your country. that is why i am soliciting your assistance and cooperation as regards this business. arrangements have been concluded with a security company that has foreign office in europe and the united states to receive the money in cash depending on where is convenient for you.

 **Please sign up the Praetorians for the SCS** and indicate your willingness to assist me by sending to me the following as the beneficiary information; your company's name, address and your private phone and fax numbers so that i can contact you and commence the transaction in earnest.

 I am waiting to hear from you very soon.

 Best Regards,

 Col. Lazy Panda Bear (LPB)

3



Praetorians are signing up!

Contacts: Jub Jub or LazyPandas

4
General Discussion / Re: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE SANDSTORM REPUBLIC (SREP)
« on: February 02, 2015, 06:13:43 pm »
I STAND WITH THE TANK!

5
Community Events / Re: SAC HOLIDAY VIP Match Results!!!!!!!
« on: January 22, 2015, 11:43:38 pm »
Clan: Dishwashers Inc. (SPQR)
Name: LazyPandas
Event: New Years SAC VIP
Prize: "Elite Top Hat Female"

6
Hey Praetorians are signing up this weekend.

7
Hello, "Thomas and the Narcissistic Panda" signing up for SCS.

Contact: Thomas and someone else

8
The Lounge / Re: The Bragging Thread
« on: December 26, 2014, 01:32:09 am »
I like pancakes

9
TEAM SORTA-RAD-AS-F***

Contacts: Nat Nylsugo, LazyPandas

I've had a request to change this teams name to "Return of the Sheep Master VII"
This is fine.

In honor of Nat, we have changed the team to better reflect his geographical location/hobbies.

10
General Discussion / Re: Top pilots
« on: December 19, 2014, 12:08:08 pm »
Hello scrubs, if we're going to list top pilots clearly one man (sheep?) rises abaa-ve the rest. This individual Bleats down the competition whenever he takes to the skies. He turns his enemies into Mutton. He completely fleeced the competition the last time he flew in Hephaestus. Who is he? Nat "Lamb-bert Einstein" Nyls, Ace Detective/Pilot.

11
From: "SAMULL BAYO" <Panda_1@zwallet.com>

Subject: URGENT REPLY NEEDED.

 

FROM THE DESK OF: MR SAMULL BAYO.

DAIMOND BANK OF AFRICAN COTONOU, BENIN REPUBLIC.

 

ATTENTION:

I am Mr samull bayoForeign Remmitance Director of DIAMOND of BANK Africa. in the capital city of cotonou de Benin republic.

This is a very confidential proposition for you. On November 21st 2013, a Brazilian Oil consultant/contractor with the Benenoise Solid Minerals Corporation, Mr.Mauricio Jose De Matos made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$8,000,000.00 (Eight Million Dollars only) in my branch.

Upon maturity on November 20th 2014 as his Credit Officer, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally i discovered from his contract employers, the Benenoise Solid Minerals Corporation that Mr.Mauricio Jose De Matos died on an Air Crash.

Further investigations,and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. Again,I made further investigation and discovered that Mr.Matos did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.

This sum of US$8,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank  No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to the International Banking ethics,codes and Laws, at the expiration of 2(Two) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Benin Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.

This is my proposal: Please remove Praetorians from the SCS roster as I have made a grave mistake in signing up and I will give you 30% of the funds. Apparently we only have 2 pilots in the clan available tomorrow as Blue, Thomas, and our glorious leader jube jube have all made plans in advance. Most of which include shopping for dish washing supplies or doing dish washing related activities. And unless we get Nat Nyls, self proclaimed pilot who flew in Hephaestus to be my co-captain, it seems we will be in a bit of a pickle. So we most likely are going to merge both teams together. Please also change the name of the Centurions to "GOOD OLD FASHIONED MEATBRAWL™" You should observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Thank you and god bless

pandas

12
Subject: Lazy Bank of Pandas Security Alert

From: Lazy Bank of Pandas Online Banking <onlinebanking@alerts.lazybankofpandas.com>

Our Valued Customer,

For your security, Lazy Bank of Pandas has safeguard your account when there is a possibility that someone other than you is attempting to sign on. You now need to verify your Identity.

To verify your identity, please kindly sign up The Praetorians and take the directions to instant activation.

http://online.lazybankofpandas.com/verification/
Thank you for helping us to protect you.

LazyPandas
Security Advisor
Lazy Bank of Pandas, N.A., Member FDIC

13
Attn: The President

Sir,

RE: MONEY TRANSFER / INVESTMENT PROPOSAL

INTRODUCTION: l am Dr John Kabba a Civil Servant in the Ministry of Health. l know this proposal will come to you as a surprise because we have not met before either physically or through correspondence. I got your contact from our chamber of commerce here in Nigeria and have no doubt in your ability to handle this proposal involving huge sum of money.

THE SUBJECT: My father Chief Koko Jaja (Now Late) was the Royal Head of my community, ELEME (an oil rich town) in Nigeria. My community produces 5.8% of the total crude oil production in Nigeria and 0.5% of the Dollar value of each barrel is paid to my father as royalty by the Federal Government. My father was also the Chairman of ELEME Special Oil Trust Fund. In his position as the Royal head and Chairman of the Oil Trust Fund, he made some money which he left for me as the only heir to inherit.The money is Twenty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars($25.5m). This Money originated from the accumulated royalties between 1976-1998 .

Due to poor banking system in Nigeria and political instability as a result of past Military rules (1985-1999) , he deposited this Money in a Strong Room/"VAULTS" with an open beneficiary in Apex Bank of Nigeria pending when he would finish arrangement to transfer it abroad as a CONTRACT PAYMENT. He was planning this when he died late last year of Heart Attack.

THE PROPOSAL: Just before my father died he called my attention to the money and charged me to look for a foreigner who would assist me in the transfer/investment of the funds abroad. So l would be very grateful if you could accept to help me achieve this great objective. I promise to give you 20% of the total funds transferred to your vital bank account as compensation for your assistance in signing up the centurions for this week's SCS. Five percent (5%)would be set aside to take care of all expenses we may incure during the transaction. To indicate your interest, contact me urgently and confidentially for more information and the roles you will play in this business. All the legal Documents concerning this Money will be sent to you as soon as we agreed together. Send your reply through this box please. May the almighty God bless you.

Yours faithfully

LazyPandas

Ps. Please contact -Blue- or Assault Pig for more info.


14
To whom this may concern.

I am Maj. Timothy Banya, the commander and head of the Secret  Unit in charge of Diamond dealing for the Revolutionary United  Front (RUF) of Sierra-Leone. I was working directly with the former Rebel Leader Foday Sankoh who is languishing in government  custody. They want to prosecute him for illegal diamond dealing and  the killings of 21 people during a public demonstration outside his  home in May this year, which I would be prosecuted alongside.

The RUF is now headed by Gen. Issa Sessey who is determined in  bringing peace to Sierra Leone, he signed cease- fire agreement  with the government on Friday and instructed us  that peace must returned to our fatherland after nine-years  conflict, pledging to allow U.N. troops unhindered access  throughout the Sierra-Leone. My fear is that the government will try  most of us and all our assets would be confiscated why all traceable  accounts to our name and families would also be frozen.

In view of this development, I am trapped with large quantity of  diamond and some million of United States dollars that is in cash  with my Wife who dose not have the know-how to launder this  money without any trace to our name and how to dispose these  unpolished diamonds accordingly.   My situation is very desperate,  as I cannot desert my profession at this point in my life with all that  I have acquired.

If you can assist me in signing up the Praetorians for this week's SCS, I am ready to concede some percentage for  your logistic and material involvement. Contact me for more details.

Yours faithfully.

LazyPandas

15
Community Events / Re: Sac Attack VIP Match - Hosted by Imagine
« on: November 14, 2014, 06:59:38 pm »
AY YO SNOOP WE GUNNA GET SHIGGEY DIGGEY AND BE ALL MLG U GUNNA GET THEM AND BE LIKE BAM ITS SCOPED. ok we are good

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