1. Create another steam account
2. Buy GOIO on sale
3. Add your victim to friends
4. Join him/her every time
5. Hop around the ship ignoring all his orders (you may also as engineer jump on the main gun and refuse to leave)
6. Repeat until he/she uninstalls
7. ??
8. Profit, veteran removed, Muse opens a champagne bottle
Other options include:
- If you have a mic get your shittiest phone and your shittiest microphone at start playing some music, with bad enough phone and mic any music can be annoying (especially during long periods of time) but I recommend
Sonic Earrape if you really don't like the guy/gal
- Tell them that they are tryhards and you're just playing for fun, and that they should "chill" and they probably have no life
- Imply that communism isn't complete bullshit
- Ignore all their communications but after several minutes
tell SHOUT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS some bullshit (i.e. point above or that you sexually identify as a dolfin or that you are happy that our high-tech civilisation exists because you have no idea where you would have to go to hunt gluten-free dumplings)
- Use only microphones made in the '70s, try to get as much distortion as possible
- Spam V-commands, preferably from japanese or russian voicepack
- You may drop the communication whatsoever and just respond "Mio no englese" or sth like this. Or be creative, find out something similar in swahili or klingon and just send it once in a while.
- Argue that chem/extinguisher/buffer is the only valid loadout for engineer, you can also be creative here and try to argue silly claims telling that "you've won all your games with this loadout so far and have a winstreak of 50 matches" having played only 25.
- Walk to the captain and try to block his vision (stand in front of him) or keep jumping around him trying to distract him
- Tell them that [this clan which shall not be named] is full of very nice people and they are very cool if you get to know them better
- Have GROX clantag
- Have less than 100 matches played
- When captaining say that you didn't do tutorial and you will win because "this is basically the same as CS:GO" (funny thing, this happened to me in the game, the 1/1/1 captain without tutorial was saying this, so we took a full carro mob and just let him die slowly in agony
inb4 blah blah, that doesn't help the community, blah blah, vegetarianism, blah)
- If you are non english speaker, especially with less popular language (like, dunno, Hungarian) find a similar friend and talk loudly in your language in the lobby
- You can also try to recreate
this sketch- Be a brittish 11-year old with shrieking voice
- Be annoying bastard and throw a fit when somebody reports you for being annoying bastard, then report everyone in the lobby you currently are (regardless if there are or aren't people that may have reported you)