Feeling low and just don't have the stamina you used to? Can't quite bend that gun to yer will? Ship just ain't feelin' like she used to?
Quaff a tonic for all that ails ye! One gulp of LeMoon's Miracle Tonic will have you feeling like your old refreshed self again! Buy one now for a better you today!
Drinking tonic definitely has not be absolutely proven to cause mild to full hair or skin loss, loss of hearing and sometimes ears, hair growth on souls of feet or tongue, bad body odor, intensely bad body odor, toxic to others body odor, metal dissolving body odor, green tint to skin, blue tint to green skin, black tint to blueish-green skin, partial blindness, full blindness, melting eyes, eyes that fall out after growing spider legs and skitter away, loss of lower teeth due to loss of lower jaw, visions of dancing worms, actual dancing worms bursting from your chest, growth of extra toes, loss of current toes followed by loss of extra toes, sudden explosion or combustion of remaining blackish-blueish-green skin and or hair, festering boils, warts, warts on the festering boils, loss of appetite after consuming your crew, coughing, followed by loss of lungs through gaping hairy mouth hole, and mild sneezing.