"Oh good you brought protection!"
"Yes fair maiden, one shall be able to protect one of ones ocular appendages."
"Erm okay, if that's what you posh boys call your thing now, lets put it on and get started!"
(because this is obviously how every date goes...........)
"Of course!"
*puts monocle on.*
"Yes! One is now protected and will.certainly be distinguished as more than a mere civilian!"