Author Topic: War Crimes.  (Read 6645 times)

Offline Skymonger

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War Crimes.
« on: June 10, 2016, 06:15:06 pm »
Now...as a skycaptain and Anglean blackguard engineer, I admit to not doing very...forgivable things in my service with Anglea.

A town wiped off the map.
A family shot on the streets.
Children made into my experiements.
Weapons of destruction rebuilt and remade to massacre thousands.
Locations glassed for my amusement.
Something of that nature blurred and buried within the depths of my mind.

I drink alot to try and forget the moral consequences that my actions have done in my three years serving with Anglea. To Drink and forget that im STILL in service with their Fleets.
But i doubt ill forget it, and those consequences might catch up to me.


So lets get them off our chests captains of the Sky!
What great attrocity have you done in the service of a faction?
Share it with us over a bottle of fatal alchohol!

Offline Carn

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2016, 09:25:05 pm »
"Hold on a second,"

*Pulls out service record*

"Butchered an entire Firnfield military base,
Conducted behind the lines fighting against Yesha,
Set fire to a Chaladonian forest,
Absconded with all the alcohol from numerous Baronies establishments,
51 assassinations within Yesha,
Sabotage of the Guild's first air fleet,
Vandalism of the Guild's second air fleet, that was a fun weekend,
Poisoning of an Arashi oasis,
Using a war mech, courtesy of the deep science division,
*Glances at Skymonger*
Defacing of Lord's Leap,
Posing as a diplomat to get close enough to behead a Guild merchant,
Carpeting mines over 2 cities in one night,
Also I punched a Anglean senator.

Offline Skymonger

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2016, 11:13:12 pm »
"Using a war mech, courtesy of the deep science division,
*Glances at Skymonger*
Also I punched a Anglean senator.

Oh....so THATS where one of my toys went...not cool man. I made that specifically for cleaning up all the industrial waste my lab makes.
I recall a paper clipping about a giant metal man on a rampage through a guild warehouse district and had like...half the guards trying to pin you to the ground.
Funniest shit i read in a while, thought it was a joke.


...y know, after that little stunt, Anglea put a quarter of the home guard and  a quarter of the Fleet on a witch hunt after you. Granted, the guy was an asshole that wanted to disband most of our armies in the name of "peace"
But damn it carn! I couldnt sleep for a week! You owe me a drink for that.

Offline The Mann

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2016, 01:29:52 am »
Defeated a Yeshan Warlord

Punched an Anglean Harbinger in the face and threw them off my ship.

Eliminated an Arashi Warparty.

Developed a corrosive fertiliser which disintegreated half of Chaladons fields.

Masterminded the first mutiney against the Fjordland King.

Wanted for acts of terror for 210 destroyed Galleons.

Sold false gemstones to the mercantiles at exponential rates.

And 5 kill on site contracts for the deaths of thousands of crew on board the following super vessels.
1 Carrier
2 Titans
4 Dedalo's
1 Vanquisher
And 2 Ravagers

Offline Carn

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2016, 10:57:48 am »
"Hey! My superior officer showed me the mech, told me to get in, and perform field tests.  Course, he was executed a year later for treason......."

*Looks through record*
"Also punched at least 1 diplomat from every faction, and at least 50 bureaucrats from each faction."

Offline ShadedExalt

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2016, 01:49:46 pm »
Science.


Offline C r o w

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2016, 06:18:44 pm »
''Many angleans here huh? What so special about this tavern anyway?
Wait...
"Absconded with all the alcohol from numerous Baronies establishments
...so it was you that asshole that left our garrison without an drop of booze!
I don't know whether to thank you for helping us succesfully uncovering a spy beacuse we were sober, or to tell to go fuck yourself for making my men use thier brains for once.''

*blankly looks out of a window*

''By the gods, you all make my cruel acts look like nothing!''

*looks at various scrapings on his bracer*

''I only got 47 villages burnt to the ground. Comparing to you, I'm innocent as a baby!''

Offline Carn

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2016, 08:00:03 pm »
"47? I have that in Firnfield alone. Oh, I suppose I should mention an act not on my official record.  There is a certain Guildsman who has a grudge against me after a masquerade ball, a hot pink Squid, and a lovely young woman with a temper."

Offline Skymonger

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2016, 08:28:21 pm »
Guildsman?
Ehheheheheheheheheh...nooo...it wasnt a guildsman you dog. It was a yeshan. Specifically you stole the third daughter of the Baronies royal family who was getting married to a Yeshan prince.

No one could figure out who kidnapped the Bride and the political tension was THICK that day. Infact, it got so bad, Anglea had to step in and keep both sides from igniting another war in Firnfeld.
It was one of the rarest sights to see Anglean walkers and landships threatening Yeshan Mecha samurai and Baronies Steam knights from slicing each other up.

...but yeah....that aint a crime. That requires a medal.
...you uhh..did the deed right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe....


Oh...speaking of deeds, there was at one point in time where i had the deed to a large plot of land out near yesha. Goverment officials from yesha felt that it wasnt prudent of me to own such a large plot of land for nothing but my amusement In testing weapons dug up from Anglea.
I tried to persuade them with money, Anglean backing, and documents, but they were too subborn to listen.

So i Vaporized them.
Or...more specifically brought to life an Ancient warrior used in the last stages of the great war that...may have set a quarter of the planet in nuclear flames.
They look like this.


And they may have done this...

...needless to say, The wastes still grows and people still get sick traversing it by land.

Oh by the way, that ancient warrior sleeps in Huskarrs Lab. Lets not wake him now.
He might render another civilization extinct.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2016, 08:37:02 pm by Skymonger »

Offline The Mann

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2016, 05:21:53 am »
I once stole a mobula with a princess on it.

I asked her to put on a seatbelt. She declined as I threw three kegs of moonshine on all the engines.

I now have a ban from Fiordland Airspace.

Offline Skymonger

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2016, 04:22:30 pm »
You deserve that.

Im surprised the engines didnt explode.

Offline The Mann

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2016, 04:46:34 pm »
See, the seatbelt was for the parachute...

Offline Skymonger

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2016, 06:05:50 pm »
See, the seatbelt was for the parachute...

"Are you telling me she fell off the ship while you were burning at 100 miles an hour...?
Tsk...
I thought you treated women right mann..."

Offline Carn

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2016, 10:49:50 pm »
"I think that was the weekend I raided numerous Baronies mead halls. And beer gardens. I think someone gave me some paint thinner too.  The Guildsman was another affair.......maybe I should stop raiding places with lots of alcohol...."

*shrugs and sips from his hip flask*

"But that would stop so many fun stories.  Seriously though, I've pissed off A LOT of people.  About half of Arashi despises me, the other half considers me a comrade in arms, Chaladon despises me for numerous acts, Yesha considers me as a hated enemy, and the Baronies is constantly annoyed at their near constant soberness."

Offline Skymonger

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Re: War Crimes.
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2016, 01:34:36 am »
"You have Over half the world wanting to kill you.
The only reason why Anglea isnt on a witch hunt for you is because IM there, and apparantly im just as bad as you.

You raid beer gardens and punch snot faced burecrats, I melt mountains and Imcinerate towns as part of an 'experiment'
You Kidnap princesses, I surgically alter little children.
You piss off barons by depriving them of their liquor, i grow the Arashi desert to fuck with Yesha.

HOW am I EQUAL to YOU Carn?!?!
If anything, i should be tried for crimes against humanity by all the nations, but SOMEHOW i get PAID BY ANGLEA for my Psychotic engineering!!!
HOW?"

*chugs a large bottle of Vodka and horse tranquilizer*
"Haaaahhh...and also...the guild dosent want to go after you. Quote on quote 'too expensive to deal with' and 'any reparations due to the shenanigans of Captain Carn are Impossible and should be taken up with another faction."

*chugs again*
*burp*
"Attention whore."