Red Button Consequences

[RedRoach]

A blinding light flashes, then darkens again over McCrabernathy's ship. A low hum is heard as an ominous presence approaches. Soon, McCrabernathy's ship, once crewed by competent veterans, is replaced with hordes of new powder monkeys who soon begin using lochnagar on the guns because "one shawt killz op".

In a desperate attempt to escape my fate I push the button.

[Indreams]

Word 'redroach' is added to my spellcheck dictionary.
Congratulations reproach!! 

Getting annoyed at spellcheck, I slam the red button into my monitor.

[RedRoach]

Getting annoyed at spellcheck, I slam my monitor into the red button

A new monitor appears to link into your computer. However, the spellcheck installed in said monitor does not in fact have the word 'redroach' in the spellcheck dictonary.

[Indreams]

So... do you press the Red Button?

[RedRoach]

Indreams, not having said that he pressed the button, does not press the button. Due to his lack of button press, a giant jumbo shrimp appears. Maybe one could attract a skywhale with it?

RedRoach take the giant jumbo shrimp and smacks it into the button.

[Indreams]

The giant jumbo shrimp turns out to be a sky whale aphrodisiac.

A sky whale appears to hump RedRoach. (I hope you don't mind).

While running away, Indreams accidentally steps on the red button.

[RedRoach]

The button press causes the whale to explode. (SHAME ON YOU FOR MUDERING A SKYWHALE!) However, the whale was in the middle of humping RedRoach. RedRoach now is more red than he should be, both physically, and emotionally.

The explosion makes everything red. Redder Redroach can't find the button anymore.

[Replaceable]

Did someone say red?

The button cries because it just can't be found.

Using a flare gun and a spy glass, I find it.

*Press.*

[DJ Calvary]

The whale bits turn into cherry jello!

Cal not pleased with this roars "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"

presses button with mass amounts of Dakkaa

[Ultimate Pheer]

As you used insufficient amounts of Dakka to press the button, it promptly returns fire with twice the Dakka you used.

...

Press

[RedRoach]

RedRoach, now lying in a floor mixed with blood from getting smacked with a ton of Dakka and cherry jello, is lifted into the air and turns into a panther. Which slides under Ultimate Pheer and lets him ride it. Ultimate Pheer now has a panther mount with lots of cherry jello on it.

Due to being a mount, RedRoach is unable to press the button.

[Indreams]

As the button was not pressed...

Indreams appears on an elephant slug and burns the jello covered abomination.



Hoping for more dakka, Indreams presses the red button.

[RedRoach]

The button being pressed creates a small little cake on the floor. The cake is labeled "Absolutely for certain definitively not lying." There are no candles on it.

RedRoach wants to put  candles on the cake, but he has no candles. He presses the button for candles!

[Replaceable]

Ask and you shall receive. A wild cake appears. We have all the candles you need.

*Leaves the button alone because i don't feel i neeeed to press it*

[RedRoach]

RedRoach looks at the cake with no candles. He then looks at the wild cake, which may or may not have candles (they've gotta be invisible then cuz I CAN't SEE THEM) and then at Replaceable who has a shit-ton of candles. RedRoach tackles Replaceable for candles.

The ensuing scuffle accidentally presses the button.