Author Topic: The Codex of Zuka  (Read 50830 times)

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #15 on: June 01, 2013, 06:04:37 am »
"When Zuka gets angry he goes into Incredible Zuka mode. 50/50 chance his clothes stay on"
"The last time Zuka got angry, he created the Flayed Hills. Formerly known as the Pacific Ocean"
"Spider-Zuka is just Zuka throwing spiders at criminals. Shelob sized spiders..."
"Batzuka is actually the name of Zuka's pet bat. It has it's own 60s theme song which it sings from dark corners of rooms with glowing red eyes"

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2013, 06:19:58 pm »
* In the grim darkness of the distant future there is only Zuka.
* To Zukatize is to alert regional chat that there is a game which contains Zuka.
* Doctors must take the Hippocratic Oath, Sky Marshals must take the Zukaratic Oath.
* The only fear Zuka knows is the fear that someone will go their whole life without ever being Zukaed.
* A county fare once sold Zukadogs instead of hot dogs, they ran out within the first hour because one can never have enough Zuka.
* Zukariticism is Zuka's way of telling you what you did wrong. You should feel bad for having failed Zuka.

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2013, 06:59:23 pm »
"In space Zuka can hear you scream"
"Soldiers cry "Get to da CHOPPA!!" Airmen cry "Get to da ZUKA!!"
"Hairs on the back of your neck standing up is a form of passive sonar for telling if Zuka is near"
"Zuka has eaten microwave sushi naked in the back of a Cadillac. The car has since been preserved in the Zukasonian museum"

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #18 on: June 05, 2013, 12:17:41 pm »
* Julius Caesar's last words were "Et tu Zukae?" because it was Zuka who shanked him.
* The sinking of the Titanic was an unfortunate side effect of Zuka experimenting with Locknigar rounds.
* Zuka lighting his farts served as Gabriele's inspiration for lighter than air travel.
* The odds of Zuka missing two shots in a row are lower than the odds of being attacked by a great white shark at the top of Mount Everest.
* Zuka keeps a tank full of great white sharks in a balloon over Mount Everest just in case.
* Most people only experience a partial Zuka, those who have experienced a full Zuka are changed for life.

Offline N-Sunderland

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2013, 04:10:00 pm »
* Julius Caesar's last words were "Et tu Zukae?" because it was Zuka who shanked him.

That doesn't work. In the phrase "Et tu, Brute", you get Brute from Brutus because it's vocative, I.e. Brutus is the one being addressed. The vocative of Zuka isn't Zukae. Zukae would be dative or genitive singular, or nominative/vocative plural. So "Et tu, Zukae" could translate to the nonsensical "You too, of Zuka", "You too, to Zuka", or "You to, Zukas". Note that while the last sentence seems gramatically correct in English, Latin's use of different pronouns in second person for singular and plural makes it so that it's not the case.

The correct sentence would simply be "Et tu, Zuka"

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #20 on: June 05, 2013, 05:39:16 pm »
Shame on me for not remember the High School Latin I took over 10 years ago.

Feel free to contribute more than pithy corrections Sunderland. I am sure Zuka wouldn't mind one more in his fan club.

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #21 on: June 05, 2013, 06:13:52 pm »
"Zuka farts provide 500% more thrust than Hydrogen, and are 200% more effective than tar barrels"
"The Battle on the Dunes is the remains of Zuka's last Amplified Commode Blow"
"Zuka mines are mines launched from the mine launcher that have Zuka's picture on them. Enemy crews have been known to leap off ships to hug a Zuka mine"
"People go on tests of courage in spooky places. Monsters go on tests of courage to Zuka's house"

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2013, 06:37:10 pm »
* If Zuka calls you a "Dirty Peasant" feel honored he stopped to recognize your presence at all. Now get back to work!
* Every Zuka doll spends at least 10 minutes in the presence of Zuka so that it can absorb some of his aura.
* Zuka plays GOI sitting atop a throne made of Zuka Dolls and surrounded by a boiling moat of Zuka Sauce.
* Zuka Sauce has been banned by the IOC (International Olympic Committee) due to its performance enhancing properties.
* The coinage of the Mercantile Guild is stamped with the saying "In Zuka we Trust."

Offline Zuka'Esrai

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #23 on: June 08, 2013, 12:16:45 am »
* Julius Caesar's last words were "Et tu Zukae?" because it was Zuka who shanked him.

That doesn't work. In the phrase "Et tu, Brute", you get Brute from Brutus because it's vocative, I.e. Brutus is the one being addressed. The vocative of Zuka isn't Zukae. Zukae would be dative or genitive singular, or nominative/vocative plural. So "Et tu, Zukae" could translate to the nonsensical "You too, of Zuka", "You too, to Zuka", or "You to, Zukas". Note that while the last sentence seems gramatically correct in English, Latin's use of different pronouns in second person for singular and plural makes it so that it's not the case.

The correct sentence would simply be "Et tu, Zuka"

Every single form of Zuka in this post is correct. You cannot be wrong whence you have invoked to almighty Zukaness! So you're right. Also yes.

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2013, 05:48:00 am »
"Zukasauce...the number one brand among sky whales for sky barnacle removal. Tough on barnacles but not on skin!"
"When Zuka whips out his mallet, don't ask to see it. You may get Zuka'd"

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2013, 12:13:40 pm »
Sun Tzu wrote a sequel to his famous book "The Art of War" called "The Art of Zuka."
The "Kama Sutra" was based of "The Art of Zuka" however it left out parts the author deemed "not physically possible."
There is a maneuver called "The Ultimate Zuka," if performed correctly the participants will experience "bliss normally reserved for the gods," if performed incorrectly neither participant will be able to walk for a month.
Hugh Hefner, John F. Kennedy, and Benjamin Franklin all own a copy of the "The Art of Zuka."
To make conforming to the One Child policy easier, China has banned the "The Art of Zuka" within its borders.
Conservative groups have tried to ban "The Art of Zuka" in the US, unfortunately any trial where part of the book is read out loud quickly turns into an orgy.
Most adult book stores refuse to stock "The Art of Zuka" fearing that their customers would loose interest in their regular stock.

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #26 on: June 12, 2013, 04:19:14 pm »
Zuka can produce enough Burnt Pizza in one sitting to feed an entire African village.
Zuka once "hugged it out" with an anaconda, they are now best friends.
Zuka can win a sniper battle with flare guns.
The "Kungfu grip" on a Zuka doll is powerful enough to turn coal to diamonds.
The "Kungfu grip" on the actual Zuka is powerful enough to turn hydrogen to helium.
Zuka has promised to use his powers only for good.
Zuka's definition of "good" varies greatly from the cultural norm.

You are slacking Gilder

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #27 on: June 12, 2013, 05:46:11 pm »
Been busy :P

"Those who have been Zuka'd can glow in the dark like Zuka. But only for a limited time."
"Zuka has his own custom outfit called Zukarider. It has a dozen pockets for Zukasauce, eight beverage cup holders for long flights, a compartment for Zukadolls, and a fully functional Squid Girl hat for when airships filled with Japanese school girls attack"
"While Sony was ripping M$ a new one with their PS4 conference, Zuka was out back beating M$ presenters with Xbox Ones till they apologized for selling themselves to publishers"
"The touch of death is only .001% as effective as the touch of Zuka"

Offline N-Sunderland

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #28 on: June 12, 2013, 05:52:01 pm »
selling themselves to publishers

This so much.

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: The Codex of Zuka
« Reply #29 on: June 14, 2013, 05:34:05 pm »
It is not the Zuka you see that will get you, it is the Zuka you don't see you should be worried about.
Like Santa Clause, Zuka knows who has been naughty or nice. However he only visits the naughty ones.
Zuka has stared into the abyss, the abyss flinched.
Zuka was one of Willy Wonka's golden ticket recipients. He was expelled from the factory after what he did to that Oompa Loompa.
The Geneva convention prohibits Zuka from answering the question "What would you do for a Klondike bar?"