All of the past week I have been away from the civilised world of London and camping in the forgotten realm of Cornwall, shoved to the southernmost tip of Great Britain.
here is a map, for the convenience of those not familiar with English counties.
And, after having gone through this, I now feel enlightened, my mind filled with invaluable new knowledge such as: In Cornwall, it is not considered strange to have not one, not two, but three separate pasty shops next to each other.
Now that your mind has been fully blown, let me enlighten you more on this fascinating part of the world.
1) Apparently, the sea-side castle of Tintagel, at the top of a in-no-way too steep climb, is where King Arthur was allegedly conceived. The story is long, but the general upshot is that Uther Pendragon got his pal Merlin to disguise him as the husband of his desired lady and borderline rape her.
2) Cornwall has its own separatist movement and even its own flag, the flag of St. Piran
They wish to make Cornwall its own country, similar to Wales and Scotland in that it would still be part of the UK.
There's even a Cornish language, which I'd never heard of, and you probably haven't either. Good for you, because, like all Celtic languages, it consists of nothing but
mother...
fucking...
consonants. Literally nothing but consonants, with the occasional vowel thrown in, sticking out like a sore thumb in the never ending ocean of consonants. Thankfully, no one gives a shit about that dead language, so its hardly ever used.
But in its heyday, its use stretched way over to Exeter, which is here...
...Whoa...
3) Cornwall is home to the world's first eco-surfboard... ... ... ... ... What on earth is an eco-surfboard, I have no idea?
4) It also proudly boasts the largest collection of plant species in the British Isles, so watch out for that, these guys don't fuck around when it comes to their flora.
But in all fairness, Cornwall did bring the world famous Cornish pasty to the world, which is something to be proud of by anyone's standards.
And the country is beautiful, with its rocky coasts and green fields, punctuated by the occasional sleepy village with interesting names (my personal favourite being "Boscastle", literally pronounced, Boss-castle).
But I would abandon all of this and flee back to the safety of London, for London, in all of its expanse, can give me a consistent internet connection.
God bless civilisation.
