Everyone. Think about it. Cullen "goes out sick" for a few days, and the servers go crazy.
This isn't my only evidence, but it's what tipped me off.
Looking back at the older threads, he came along about the time of the Kickstarter.
My theory? An unnamed rich man donated 10 million to the Kickstarter, because, god damn, he wanted to board something.
Unwilling to add boarding, Muse had to spend the money on something.
A 10 million dollar production of a sentient server program was started on the spot.
In order to throw us all off, they added this over-the-top personality.
You all have played a sci-fi game or two. What's the one weapon that doesn't effect robots?
Fire-based ones.
What is the main purpose of Cullen's "clan" (and by that I mean mindless drones soon to be assimilated)?
Fire.
Speaking of his "Clan" what's the one food Sentient A.I. Seem to be obsessed with?
I'll give you a hint: it's a lie.
Search your hearts, you all know it to be true.
I'm just missing one piece of the puzzle: "Cullen"
That's not a real name. It's an acronym for something...
But what?
Oh. And I say we all start calling him "Server Boy."