Leap of Logic Game

[Canon Whitecandle]

Instead of explaining what the leap of logic game is, I'll just give you the format and an example then we can get started. Just come up with a 'truthism' in this format:
X does Y.
Y does Z.
A does Z.
Therefore A is X.

Example:
God is love.
Love is blind.
Stevie Wonder is blind.
Therefore Stevie Wonder is God.

Hitler did bad things.
Bad things make people cry.
Onions make you cry.
Therefore Hitler was an onion.

America is patriotic.
Patriots wear flags on their shoulders.
The American flag has alternating stripes.
Zebras have alternating stripes.
Therefore America is a zebra.

[RedRoach]

Ships can fly.
People sail on ships.
Whales are hunted by people.

Therefore, Whales can fly.

Queso is cheese.
Cheese is dairy.
Cows make dairy.

Therefore, Queso is a cow.

[Replaceable]

Puppies are cute.
Cuties look like Kirk.
Kirk looks like Kirk

Therefore Kirk is cute.

[Canon Whitecandle]

Replacable thinks kirk is cute.
Cute are kittens.
Kittens scratch the sofa.
Therefore, replacable is a sofa.

[Riggatto]

I won't lie, I didn't come up with this.

Why are fire trucks red?
Fire trucks have 8 wheels and 4 people,
and 4+8=12,
12 inches is a foot,
and one foot is a ruler,
and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler,
and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship,
and the ship sailed the seas,
and fish live in the seas,
and the fish have fins,
and the Russians fought the Finns,
and Russians are red,
and Fire trucks are always Russian around.
Therefore firetrucks are red.

[RedRoach]

The spire is long.
A pole is long.
Poles can be flipped in the air.
The air is everywhere.
Everywhere usually means the earth.
The earth has water.
Bubbles are in water.
Therefore, Spires are Bubbles.

(Bubbles also pop)

[James T. Kirk]

Puppies are cute.
Cuties look like Kirk.
Kirk looks like Kirk

Therefore Kirk is cute.

Salute, good sir.