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The Lounge / Re: The Codex of Zuka
« on: March 05, 2018, 02:32:14 pm »
It has been too long since we updated this and I fear a generation of GOI players may have come and gone without knowing Zuka. I weep for them as I would weep for all who go through life ignorant to the sublime highs and depraved lows association with Zuka will provide.
*Zuka can fly harder, reload faster, and reach more components faster than any other pilot/gunner/engie because even the Guns of Icarus software recognizes it is impossible for Zuka to run out of stamina.
* Zuka has sworn never to use his powers for evil.
* Zuka's concept of good and evil differs greatly from the views held by mortal men.
* Wealthy young men wear golden chains with stylized Z's as a way of signaling wealth and sexual potency to the opposite sex.
* This fashion trend has resulted in precisely one man getting laid, and that man is Zuka.
* There is no substitute for Zuka, however there is always enough Zuka to go around.
* In most legal text it is not illegal to be Zuka, however in the Book of Zuka it is illegal not to be Zuka.
* The punishment for not being Zuka is a firm spanking followed by a gallon of Zuka Sauce being slowly poured over the offender.
* Legal scholars have "debated" the Book of Zuka as a legal text for years, the results were more debauched than spring break in Tijuana.
* "Debating the Book of Zuka" has surpassed the wet tee-shirt contests as the preferred act of sexual exhibitionism among horny collage kids.
*Zuka can fly harder, reload faster, and reach more components faster than any other pilot/gunner/engie because even the Guns of Icarus software recognizes it is impossible for Zuka to run out of stamina.
* Zuka has sworn never to use his powers for evil.
* Zuka's concept of good and evil differs greatly from the views held by mortal men.
* Wealthy young men wear golden chains with stylized Z's as a way of signaling wealth and sexual potency to the opposite sex.
* This fashion trend has resulted in precisely one man getting laid, and that man is Zuka.
* There is no substitute for Zuka, however there is always enough Zuka to go around.
* In most legal text it is not illegal to be Zuka, however in the Book of Zuka it is illegal not to be Zuka.
* The punishment for not being Zuka is a firm spanking followed by a gallon of Zuka Sauce being slowly poured over the offender.
* Legal scholars have "debated" the Book of Zuka as a legal text for years, the results were more debauched than spring break in Tijuana.
* "Debating the Book of Zuka" has surpassed the wet tee-shirt contests as the preferred act of sexual exhibitionism among horny collage kids.