Guns Of Icarus Online
Off-Topic => The Pit => Topic started by: David Hark on December 20, 2013, 03:34:57 am
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(Disclaimer, some rules are meant as sarcasm.)
(Disclaimer, We are not responsible for your failure.)
(Disclaimer, I will totally take credit for your success though.)
Da Rules of Guns of Icarus:
1. Blame Shink.
2. David Hark is always right.
3. Flak-fish don’t work.
3.1. Unless you’ve got a team.
4. If you think David Hark is wrong, see rule 2.
5. You don’t ram galleons, galleons ram you.
6. Lochnagar all the things!
6.1. Lochnagar’s secret ingredient is Crayola Crayons.
7. Stay in the trenches, don’t go over the top!
8. Don’t Die.
9. Don’t steal my kills!
10. Never steal a man’s Lochnagar kill!
11. Don’t board the enemy ship.
12. Remember what happened to Georgia.
13. Load your gun!
14. Keep an eye on your allies.
15. Fargo is always bored.
16. Don’t question Fargo.
17. Don’t question the high level guys.
18. Don’t make horrible puns unless it’s about Jon Snow.
19. (commanders only) Screw the rules, I’m in command!
20. There are far too many rules.
21. Lehran is the rocketeer.
22. When a captain isn’t listening, crew are permitted to spam the non-verbal commands.
23. Two phoenix claws are better than one.
24. The floor IS lava, even when it’s water.
25. Kill them before they kill us!
26. When in doubt, keep shooting.
27. Don’t get off your gun to fix things, just keep shooting.
28. Oh my god! Keep shooting!
29. Vote for Fjords.
30. HULL! HULL! HULL!!!
31. Not Knowing the rules permits all players (who know them) to spam them to you during gameplay.
32. Don’t jump off the ship.
33. You must adhere to all rules at all times, no exceptions.
34. There is no rule 34.
34.1. If it exists, there’s a steampunk version of it.
35. [Redacted]
36. You can’t spot them with chem spray.
37. Watch for the magic smoke to appear.
38. Bright clouds always need more flares.
39. When in doubt, back up!
40. BALLOON! BALLOON! BALLOON!!!
41. All rules can be ignored if the captain allows it, or by unanimous lobby vote.
42. There’s still no spoon.
42.1. I don’t care if you’re offended Sgt. Spoon.
43. There is a knife of lies.
44. The clouds will always block your spot, no matter how little they actually obscure the target.
45. All rules can be ignored for the sake of an achievement.
46. Join the damn party!
47. No Poofters!
48. The lobbies die quickly.
48.1. The lobbies live longer than expected.
49. Ramming is always an option.
49.1. This does not mean it is always a good option.
49.2. Why yes Horatio, I will ram.
50. You must face this challenge alone…
50.1. Never count on an ally you don’t know backing you up when you need them to.
50.2. Never count on the new guy to follow your lead.
50.3. Never go sniper spire when your ally is clearly going to abandon you in combat.
51. Know your key bindings!
52. You aren’t allowed to question the legitimacy of the rules.
53. FOOL!
53.1. Harpoons on a squid went out of fashion many patches ago.
53.2. Ramming with a squid is a poor choice for life.
53.3. Choosing to fly a squid against three meta-pyramidiions in Desert scrap is your own undoing.
53.3.1. Putting a harpoon on it was the worst thing you could have done.
53.3.2. Shame on you.
54. FARGO, MY ENGINES!
55. DO NOT FIRE AN OFFENSIVE FLARE, FARGO!
56. WHY WOULD YOU IGNORE MY ENGINES TO GET ON THE HULL, FARGO?!?!?!?
57. FARGO, WHY AREN’T YOU ON THE HULL?!?!?!?
58. THAT HULL SHOULD NEVER BE ON FIRE, FARGO.
59. You must have at least 3 levels of piloting under your belt before you are ready to fly a galleon.
60. If you have a galleon with 4 manticores, don’t contact Twinkie, Twinkie will contact you.
61. Don’t invite a person to your game and then ask them to change classes.
62. If you swear or behave in a fashion that attracts the attention of the CA’s, you must put an achievement in the swear jar.
62.1. The contents of the swear jar got to the captain at the end of the round.
63. The Bad Idea Subsection:
63.1. Point blank with a Typhon Heavy Flak Cannon is a bad idea (Unless in compliance with rule #6)
63.1.1. Point blank with an Echidna Light Flak Cannon is a bad idea.
63.2. Point blank with a Lumberjack Heavy Mortar is a bad idea. (Unless in compliance with rule #6)
63.3. Long range Hellhound Heavy Twin Carronade is a bad idea.
63.3.1. Long range with a Barking Dog Light Carronade is a bad idea.
63.4. Double-anything on the front of a pyramidion is a bad idea.
63.4.1. With the possible exception of the Hades Light Cannon.
63.4.2. With the possible exception of the Whirlwind Light Gatling Gun if in compliance with rule #49.
63.4.3. Possibly not a bad idea if you have a good teammate.
63.5. It is a bad idea to cite rule 63 subsections whilst in the midst of combat.
63.6. It is a bad idea to believe that rule 63 is all you need to know from Da Rules of Guns of Icarus, they are all equally important.
63.7.1.a. It was a bad idea to put David Hark in charge of Rulemaking.
63.7.1.a-1. It was equally bad to allow him to continue making rules.
64. Dr. Trager is a drunk.
64.1. He is not to be trusted.
64.2. Do not let him see your hands. Not even for a second.
64.3. Do not stick your tongue out for him.
64.4. He is not really a doctor, no matter what he says or believes.
65. Drugs are bad.
66. Spamming chat only gets you banned.
66.1. Do not take the threat of being reported lightly, someone will be annoyed to see your name in their inbox.
67. Advertising is not spamming.
68. Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!
69. Reserved for the rule 69 subsection
69.1. PULL OUT!
69.2. Your mom rammed harder.
70. If someone suggests an out-of-the-ordinary gamemode, and the rest of the lobby is in agreement, it is your duty to either abandon that lobby or comply with their demands.
71. It is important to listen to anyone who has written a rule in Da Rules of Guns of Icarus.
71.1. They are the wisest among you.
71.2. We reserve the right to modify rules, omit rules, append rules, expand rules, make up rules, and enforce rules.
71.2.1. We reserve the right to do any of the prior without warning and on the spot.
71.3. We reserve the right to enforce our own rules, through all means necessary short of kicking a player from a lobby.
72. When unsure which rule to apply, always refer to rule #1.
73. When in doubt, summon RethBurn.
73.1. When RethBurn is in doubt, panic.
74. Don’t Panic.
75. Always carry a towel.
76. Remember to slur your euphemisms for the report-happy people.
77. If you have more than two level 7 players playing together, the enemy will always accuse you of stacking.
77.1. Even with the new team scramble system.
77.2. Disregard flamers, acquire stacks.
78. Article 77, subsection 2 applies to any ship with a flamer or flare gun.
79. Just burn it.
80. Always double check your customization before a match!
81. Don’t worry, Captain Magellan has an ointment for that.
82. Fix your damn internet connection.
82.1. That means you Uiribus.
83. Rules 84-89 are hereby banned by the Geneva Convention (don’t ask how, we’re still trying to figure that out), and are therefore redacted from the ruleset.
90. Any request to change a loadout pointed at a member of the Cake clan will be happily heard and even more happily ignored.
90.1. This is negated if the request is for more fire.
91. Da Rules of Guns of Icarus is not to be used to settle clan disputes.
91.1. Da Rules of Guns of Icarus is to be used as a source of information, meant to guild new players to success and to correct older players who are incompetent.
91.2. Da Rules of Guns of Icarus is not to be used to blackmail players into joining your clan.
91.3. Da Rules of Guns of Icarus can be used to call out players directly by name for their follies, and can be used as a helpful introduction to a clan’s preferences, but make no mistake, this is not a place for arguing.
91.6. If you absolutely must argue, make a subsection rule that way they are at least related and I won’t have to go through and reorganize Da Rules of Guns of Icarus again.
91.5. All previous pseudo-rules in violation of this rule have been redacted, as they were confusing.
91.6.1.a-1. Da Rules of Guns of Icarus should not be confusing.
92. When fighting against close range fire ships, bring chem spray and sniper loadouts.
92.1. Does not apply to mine-based ships.
92.1.1. Possibly not smart if you can’t navigate a mine field.
92.2. The Cake clan will only try harder if you apply this rule.
92.3. It is important to enjoy your birthday.
93. Rule 93 does not apply to anybody except Zuka, though he has the ability to bypass it.
94. Abandoning a match because you screwed up is a perfectly acceptable reason for other players to look down upon you.
94.1. With the possible exception of leaving a match so that you can change your loadout/class and rejoin.
94.2. With the possible exception of Game Crashes.
94.3. With the possible exception of Steam Crashes.
94.4. With the possible exception of the servers crashing.
95. Get back in formation Leeroy Jenkins!
95.1. Oh God did he just go in?
95.2. Stick to the plan guys!
96. There is no boarding.
97. There will never be boarding.
98. Your idea for boarding will not change the fact that there is no boarding.
99. Continuing to pursue these delusions will result in your untimely disappearance.
100. Always approach the CA’s directly with a question about boarding if you wish to disappear!
101. The only thing better than one mine is 200 mines.
101.1. The only thing better than 200 mines is 200 Lochnagar mines.
101.1.1. The only thing better than 200 Lochnagar mines is using 200 lochnagar mines to win the Cogs.
102. Blame Gaben.
102.1. Unless it’s Shink’s fault.
103. Gaben loves you.
104. Gabe eats for your sins, so you can stay slim and pure.
105. Jawjee is officially invited to this kind of topic.
106. When Qwerty is happy, remind him of the Oval ship.
107. Never let the Gents get in a cloud, they will stay there and camp.
108. Coldcurse can only be blamed publicly by members of TFD.
108.1. Do not blame Coldcurse for his harsh words.
108.1.1. Always blame Jawjee for that, or Shink.
109. If you have the chance to ram a galleon with your pyramidion, ALWAYS go full speed reverse into a rock, because that’s what cool people do.
109.1. Make sure that “cool” doesn’t mean retarded.
109.2. Always imply that your enemy is cool.
110. If you might be camping in a cloud, don’t forget the large chest of assorted tea.
111. Show respect for a clan’s “thing”.
112. Long live the pit!
112.1. The pit does not create horrible things, it incubates them.
112.2. Do not kill the pit before it has laid it’s eggs.
112.2.1. The pit lays its eggs every October and incubates them until March. Provide ample pitage during this time.
112.2.2. When the offspring reaches 6 months of age, they are fully mature and will spread to other threads, derailing them and then returning in the seventh month to lay more eggs.
112.2.3. In the event of a fire save these eggs. But leave RethBurn and Piemanlives behind.
113. Welcome to the Pit!
113.1. Why the [redacted] are we creating rules in the pit?
114. Always consult the patch notes!
115. Don’t join because they offered you something.
115.1. Don’t go around offering people things you can’t deliver.
115.2. At least I don’t go around knocking on peoples’ non-doors, and offering them cookies, and then not giving them cookies!
115.3. I’m leaving!
116. Negotiations will break down.
117. The rules will only continue to grow.
117.1. You cannot stop them.
117.2. You can only accept them.
117.3. JOIN US…
118. People who could not come up with a pronounceable name will not be spared.
118.1. If your name cannot be pronounced, you can change it for free twice.
118.2. If you put “Swag” or “Yolo” in your name, do not expect David Hark to help you with your achievements.
118.2.1. In fact prepare to be hindered for a while.
119. When I get my hands on you, you [redacted] [redacted], I’m going to shove lochnagar rounds so far up your [redacted] that you’ll be seeing colors for a week.
119.1. You know who you are.
120. Fight me at Pax!
121. [redacted]
121.1. Some things are just not meant for anyone’s eyes.
121.2. Except the NSA, they already know.
122. The only signal to be used is "man the aft guns".
243. Skywhales exist. (citation needed)
243.1. Skywhale hunting is a real sport.
243.1.1. Skywhale hunting is a way of life.
-Dictated, not read-
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123. We can not be responsible for your failure to hit with a flamer at point blank range.
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122. The only signal to be used is "man the aft guns". <<<< Best rule ever am looking at you Mr Reth Burn haha
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122.1: Don't use "man the aft guns" on a ship that actually has aft guns
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122.2: Do not spread knowledge of the signal command button, it's a rite of passage.
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118.2. If you put “Swag” or “Yolo” in your name, do not expect David Hark to help you with your achievements.
poor yoloswagjesus
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244. Dont use weed to fuel your engines, you only get tar out of it.
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244.1.: Tar cannot get blazed, if attempted at 4:20, you will suffer inexcrutiable pain from blacklung disease,
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245. The dust clouds are not play things.
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245. The dust clouds are not play things.
\
245. a) They are there to screw you
245. b) In Soviet Russia, dust cloud doesnt hurt you, You hurt dust cloud.
245. c) In there the dust is strong, I feel.
245. d) The dustclouds only act in selfdefence, you are entering their personal space.
245. f) And Josef said "the dustcloud will open for me and let me pass", famous last words of a prophet.
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118.2. If you put “Swag” or “Yolo” in your name, do not expect David Hark to help you with your achievements.
poor yoloswagjesus
he was asking for this rule to come into existence the moment he made that his name...
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124. Flying a galleon in King of the Flayed hills is STRICTLY forbidden.
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125. In the event of a Velcro, you are to scream like little girls until the issue is rectified
125.1. Should the issue be rectified with death, you are to claim the map is op
125.2. Should the issue be rectified with freedom, you are to hail (Insert GoI Religion here) as tribute
125.3. Should you remain in this state for an extended period of time, lob mines
125.3.1. Should you not have mines, ask your ally to mine you
125.3.1.1. Should they not have mines, request a ram from the nearest enemy vessel
125.3.1.1.1. Should they ram you, summarily thank them
125.3.1.1.2. Should they gun you to death, summarily shoot back until one of you is dead
125.3.1.1.2.1. Should you die fly over and finish the job
125.3.1.1.2.1.1. Should you die again, continue the match until they have faced retribution at your hand
125.3.1.1.2.1.2. Should they die, continue the match until it has been won by either side
125.3.1.1.2.1.2.1. Should you win gloat slightly
125.3.1.1.2.1.2.2. Should they win, promise to beat them next time
125.3.1.1.2.1.2.2.1. Should you win, gloat slightly
125.3.1.1.2.1.2.2.2. Should they win, promise to beat them next time
125.3.1.1.2.1.2.2.2.1. Observe rule set 125.3.1.1.2.1.2.2
125.3.1.1.2.2. Should they die, observe rule set 125.3
125.3.1.2. Should they have mines, have them lobbed until freed or dead
125.3.1.2.1. Should the issue be rectified with death, you are to claim the map is op
125.3.1.2.2. Should the issue be rectified with freedom, you are to hail (Insert GoI Religion here) as tribute
125.3.2. Should you have mines, lob until freed, or dead.
125.3.2.1. Should the issue be rectified with death, you are to claim the map is op
125.3.2.2. Should the issue be rectified with freedom, you are to hail (Insert GoI Religion here) as tribute
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126: Rule subsections following this post shall not exceed a strict number of 100 denominations
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100.1 The Only person that knows why CA's names are yellow died in a failed boarding attempt all knowledge was lost along with Reth's first draft of fan fiction
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127. In Case of Emergency, Please sacrifice most useless crew-mate to Cthulu.
127.1 If Sacrifices are not an option, Summon RethBurn.
127.2 If Summoning Rethburn is not an option, create a fanfic.
127.2.1 The Fanfic catagory includes Manga, Anime, or Plain Text Stories.
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115.4. Yiski always offers plushies.
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128. Never Leave a Child alone with a Creepy Zuka doll.
128.1 If a child is left alone, please consult the Codex of Zuka for advice pertaining to the matter.
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330. Never complain to Tropo about your ping.
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588. It was a bad idea if you were disconnected for it.
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128. Never Leave a Child alone with a Creepy Zuka doll.
128.1 If a child is left alone, please consult the Codex of Zuka for advice pertaining to the matter.
128.2 If no one knows or wants the child, throw it of the ship and burn all the evidence.
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589. I'm new here and I'm trying to fit in by making rules.
598. Love me pls.
999999. Portal 2 references will not be allowed.
700. Captain Coldcurse says terrible things so that you don't have to. You're welcome.
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123. Remember Bacon
123.1 Bacon is true
123.1.1 Bacon can never give you up
123.1.2 Bacon can never let you down
123.1.3 Bacon can never run around and desert you.
(Don't hurt me :P)
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589. I'm new here and I'm trying to fit in by making rules.
598. Love me pls.
999999. Portal 2 references will not be allowed.
700. Captain Coldcurse says terrible things so that you don't have to. You're welcome.
700. a) Still shink will be blamed for Captain Coldcurse's actions.
700. b) Captain Coldcurse loves to brawl and thrashtalk.
700. c) Thrashtalk is also part of the game :D
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115.4. Yiski always offers plushies.
115.5. Drinking Plushies is at your own risk, you can't blame Yiski for producing drinkable fuel that might cause death or other injures that threatens your physical body into a state of coma or selfdestruction from the inside. Plushies are copyrighted and Yiski should be asked for permission if you want to use or talk about them.
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999999.1: This rule is only applied when following reference is unnescesary or out of context.
999999.2: When applied correctly, reward referencee with according ovation and offer a backrub.
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(Don't hurt me :P)
Don't hurt me.
No more.
999999.1: This rule is only applied when following reference is unnescesary or out of context.
999999.2: When applied correctly, reward referencee with according ovation and offer a backrub.
Can I have my ovation and backrub now? :D
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I can forgive you for rule 118.2, but you cross'd the line with 118.2.1.
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I can forgive you for rule 118.2, but you cross'd the line with 118.2.1.
The rule is intended for new players who use those words with the intent of a COD fanboy. If I find it annoying, rule 118.2.1 takes effect. You are by no means in violation of that rule :)
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(Don't hurt me :P)
Don't hurt me.
No more.
999999.1: This rule is only applied when following reference is unnescesary or out of context.
999999.2: When applied correctly, reward referencee with according ovation and offer a backrub.
Can I have my ovation and backrub now? :D
No but first answer me this question.
What is love?
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Sometimes people make me wonder.
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well then I'm guessing I make you wonder alot.
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---edit---
(reason: there was already a rule 123)
129. Remember Bacon
129.1 Bacon is true
129.1.1 Bacon can never give you up
129.1.2 Bacon can never let you down
129.1.3 Bacon can never run around and desert you.
---End of Edits---
130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
131. Revitalizing and Maintaining Da Rules of Guns of Icarus is mandatory for all Forum-users who are aware of its existence.
132. New rules should henceforth be added sequentially, filling in the gaps rather than adding new ones much farther down the number line (case in point: rule #999999, we haven't even hit 1000 yet!)
133. No one can claim that there are over 9000 rules, until there actually are, at which point this rule will be redacted.
133.1. Violating this rule will result in a verbal warning, then being slapped, followed by laughter.
134. I lost the game.
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135. David Hark is watching...
135.1. He is not amused.
135.1.1. Unless he is.
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
130.3. Pieman conclusion about Coldcurse is always irrellevant to the actions Coldcurse takes. These actions are in the most random corner of the game and should not be wonderd about.
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
130.3. Pieman conclusion about Coldcurse is always irrellevant to the actions Coldcurse takes. These actions are in the most random corner of the game and should not be wonderd about.
That should be 130.2.1
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
130.3. Pieman conclusion about Coldcurse is always irrellevant to the actions Coldcurse takes. These actions are in the most random corner of the game and should not be wonderd about.
That should be 130.2.1
130.4 rule 130.3 is rule 130.2.1
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
130.3. Pieman conclusion about Coldcurse is always irrellevant to the actions Coldcurse takes. These actions are in the most random corner of the game and should not be wonderd about.
That should be 130.2.1
130.4 rule 130.3 is rule 130.2.1
130.4.1 Except before Pieman suggested it
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130. If Piemanlives wonders about something, a rule should be made about it.
130.1. Piemanlives wonders about people sometimes.
130.2. Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse sometimes.
Shouldn't 130.2 be "Piemanlives wonders about Coldcurse a lot"?
Also I lost the game [*sad face*]
oops, I didn't proofread that XD
130.3. Pieman conclusion about Coldcurse is always irrellevant to the actions Coldcurse takes. These actions are in the most random corner of the game and should not be wonderd about.
That should be 130.2.1
130.4 rule 130.3 is rule 130.2.1
130.4.1 Except before Pieman suggested it
130.4.2 Unless Coldcurse declines.
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136. Never let the Pit keys out for certain people to take control.
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136. Never let the Pit keys out for certain people to take control.
136.1 Unless those people are either Coldcurse, Jawjee or Oliver
136.1.1 Or all of them at once
136.1.2 Or any combination of them
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137. Rule 136 is void, so are any rules posted by Oliver, Jawjee, and Coldcurse.
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137. Rule 136 is void, so are any rules posted by Oliver, Jawjee, and Coldcurse.
137.1 even if this rule makes Oliver sad?
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137. Rule 136 is void, so are any rules posted by Oliver, Jawjee, and Coldcurse.
137.1 even if this rule makes Oliver sad?
137.1.1 Even if it makes Oliver sad.
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138. Once you Join the RP, You can never leave.
138.1 This includes attempts to kill off your main character to gain freedom from the RP
138.1.2 Knocking out your character, however is acceptable, provided your character regains consciousness.
138.2 Trying to leave the RP will hereafter be referred to as "Pulling a Sunderland".
138.2.1 After three attempts to "Pull a Sunderland", one will receive [REDACTED] as punishment for their attempts.
138.2.2 Working on Something else RP-related (I.E. formatting it into a document) is not considered "Pulling a Sunderland".
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Authors Note: Mac needs to post in the RP thread.
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139. Do not make non-rule posts in the rule thread
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140. Science is the universal answer to any question.
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141. Don't blame David Hark for your mistakes and shortcomings.
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141.1 Blame Shink, not David Hark for your mistakes and shortcomings.
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142 If the thread is dead but can still be funny and relevant to Guns, it shall be revived.
142.1 This doesn't make us love necromancy.
142.2 All the dead things.
142.2 a) Double tap
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143 Reviving threads is applicable as long as the contents do not spur pointless arguments.
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144: is 12 squared.
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145: not a prime number
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146: A Hwacha is ALWAYS appropriate.
146.1: Even on Sniper Spires
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147: When under gat fire, spanner that hull to half way then mallet.
147.1: Scream like a little girl (or boy) during the cool down.
147.2: Pray you escape before clip 2
148: Mobula OP
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149: Da Rules of Guns of Icarus are cannon and should be looked upon as accepted lore.
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Hey, a pit necro by the OP
Nice
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Well, the devs hinted at user-lore, so I had to make it a rule. You know, so if anyone ever questions the lore-friendliness of da rule book, we have something to point to.
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150. There never is enough DAKKA
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150a. NEVER.
150b. ENUFF
150c. DAKKA!!
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151: Gork iz da mallet
152: Mork iz da spannah.
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153. Red wunz go fasta
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154. Mines
154.1 When involved, everyone is an enemy
154.1.1 Collateral damage is a thing.
154.2 Can't have too many mines
154.2.1 200 mines are best mines.
154.2.2 200 Loch mines are best
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155. It is mandatory for all pilots to have in their possession at least one lucky chicken.
155.1. Always trust your lucky chickens. Oh and check rule 158.
156. Flares are weapons.
156.1. Honest.
156.1.1. No seriously, they really are weapons.
156.1.2. If disbelief cannot be rectified by demonstration, the skeptical party involved may avoid punishment by referring to rule 157.
157. Rule 157 was rushed through the Design and Development stages and was therefor canceled.
157.1. Those responsible have been quartered and shot.
157.2. Refer to rule 155.1.
158. Loch flares always work.
158.1. For best results, load flare with lucky chicken.
158.2. If after burning down enemy ship with lucky chicken, you have no remaining lucky chickens, steal your crew member's.
158.2.1. The Ministers of the Ministry of Administering Rules and Elucidation Techniques are not responsible for any violence or ill-will that results from the theft of lucky chickens.
158.2.1.1. Since the knowledge of the existence of the Ministry of Administering Rules and Elucidation Techniques is forbidden, all readers of rule 158.2.1. are now targets of highly psychotic Squid pilots.
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158.3. David Hark approves of the previous rules
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159. Absolutely no counting games
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Abc. An improvised system to replace numbers, since counting games are not allowed.
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(invoking rules 142 and 142.1)
142.3. If a thread is revived and spans more than 2 years, it should never be allowed to die.
159.1. Da rules are not a counting game.
Abc.a. This improvised system will henceforth be used as a backup in the event that we run out of numbers.
160. If someone declares themselves the "Ringmaster" in a lobby, all pilots in the lobby should listen to and follow the match-specific rules this person lies down.
160.1. A "Ringmaster match" must be strictly intended to be a fun change in gameplay to avoid another boring deathmatch.
160.2. Ringmaster matches must not put either team at a disadvantage, so until proven otherwise "skywhale hunting" is considered putting a galleon at a disadvantage.
160.2.1. Skywhale hunting is an unethical sport and should be treated as such.
161. If your captain tells you to jump off the ship, drop everything and jump off the ship.
161.1. This rule is to be abused as frequently as possible.
161.2. If your captain ridicules you for jumping off the ship, jump off the ship.
161.3. If your captain is swearing uncontrollably, jump off the ship.