Guns Of Icarus Online
Off-Topic => The Pit => Topic started by: BdrLineAzn on December 18, 2013, 07:27:09 pm
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Lets shake some things up. Old forum peeps know what todo, so instead of three it is now five words for more hilarity.
I'll let the next person start it off.
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The universe exploded. The End.
Okay, real post. hmmm. Let's make this meta.
One day, a duplicate thread
-
Decided to start on this
-
noble second, a new era
-
Were Space Unicorns Ruled All
-
the cups of tea. They
-
worshipped disco and exterminate all
-
Of the bacon heretics. Who
-
tried stealing Coldcurse's souls collection.
-
This included Aretha Franklin records,
-
(As long as I don't have to write everything up again cuz this one has even more words :P)
and also contained Mr. Johnsons
-
Cookies. Which were made to
-
combust spontaneously. Alas, they failed.
-
However they were quite tasty.
-
So we made more, then
-
the cookie hoard brought Smaug
-
to the great cafateria of
-
N damn Sunderland. Meanwhile the
-
knitting was starting to fray
-
as knitting factions warred endlessly.
-
And where conflict brews, great
-
balls of yarn chose alliances
-
, the yellows and red sided.
-
Whereas green and blue sought
-
asylum north of the wall.
-
The wall, also known as:
-
"Wallie" liked to play goalie
-
i ram jam slam her
-
. As the story kept going
-
it started to sound ridiculous.
-
and everybody agrees with it
-
because three words became five
-
and five words became three.
-
And coldcurse was still jealous
-
, and in his jealousy morphed
-
in to a Ferocious Goat!!!!!
-
This shape shifting goat made
-
The Human Race Worship Them
-
and get Smitten By Zuka.
-
For as Zuka gifted the
-
the human's with zuka sauce
-
and the humans took it,
-
they fell victim to a
-
fearsome race of intergalactic teacups
-
that poured down a plague
-
looking to steal zuka sauce.
-
Coming to the rescue were
-
a Geurrila Tea Cosy Army
-
armed with techno flammable Bacon
-
hwachas with greased bacon rounds
-
which are mounted on squids.
-
Squids captained by Issac Phillips
-
and his clones were highly
-
stocky to counterbalance the hwacha's.
-
The tea war raged for
-
seconds and everybody got tired.
-
So they had tea and
-
disliked the taste of it.
-
launch the Paritan tea party
-
into this new year was the
-
lore breaking lore breakers who
-
surprisingly upheld the lore's integrity
-
Then Broke it repeatedly by
-
carefully putting it back together.
-
As the lorebreackers used Ducktape
-
to tape ducks to their
-
broken lore, of which was
-
all ducked up by then.
-
Captain Jon Snow once said
-
"I am known as Lockheart"
-
but obviously he was wrong
-
because his heart was open
-
. Inside that open heart were
-
severely moonshine-damaged heart things
-
the heart engineers couldn't repair
-
because the love gland was
-
too much for them so
-
it was replaced with a
-
minefield of passion, which ignited.
-
The ignited passion served as
-
a catalyst in creating Hellfire
-
, a terrifying thought it was.
-
With the Hellfire drink, people
-
would usually get drunk, but
-
they ran out of moonshine.
-
Suddenly, the Kraken was released
-
and then it married N-Sunderland.
-
N-Sunderland then stared deeply into
-
the eyes of the kraken
-
and said: "Kraken". So the
-
two kissed each other with
-
drunkards screaming loudly behind them
-
and married five months later.
-
As the love story of
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Cake and The Flying Dutchman
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turned into a clear disaster
-
when the wedding guests were
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ushered away from the raucous
-
Captain Coldcurse, who had entered
-
the room dressed up in
-
his underpants only. The Kraken
-
then left N-Sunderland for ColdCurse.
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Sunderland wasn't sad, though, because
-
The Kraken was way too
(Did I use to/too right there?... it doesn't look right to me...)
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rough as they made love
-
. So Sunderland decided to go
-
and kiss Oliver, and said
-
"Love that wall you made"
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then hops on Oliver's lap
-
but misses and falls over
-
and Oliver falls ontop N-Sunderland,
-
accidentally hitting him in the
-
Left index finger, breaking it.
-
They called an ambulance to
-
Amputate it. It was infected
-
With the zombie virus, so
-
Mr. Johnson appeared on his
-
Anti-zombie sky whale and said
-
"Screw this, I'm going home."
-
but Sunderland ate his brain.
-
Sunderland then morphed into Johnson
-
, CAVE Johnson, and started building
-
his own hall of shame.
-
In that hall of shame
-
was a portrait of the
-
wedding that had just happened.
-
between the Squid and Galleon.
-
And then everyone went to
-
see Oliver Colt's portrait, that
-
was comically sans Coldcurse's sanity.
-
The portrait was floating in
-
the middle of a room
-
where a huge rat was
-
, and the rat bit everyone.
-
The rat destroyed the portrait
-
and everyone said "NOOO!" But
-
there was still hope for
-
there was still hope for
the rat to avoid death.
-
But then Coldcurse walked in
-
and stole it's little soul.
-
Then Coldcurse took the soul
-
and ate it. He burped
-
so loud that the building
-
collapsed and all other portraits
-
were taken to a museum
-
in necropolis, located in china,
-
and they were valued in
-
copper rat legs. China recently
-
tried to nuke Santa Claus
-
but then hit hiroshima instead,
-
but Santa-Claus was living there
-
in an iron bunker under
-
the Dalai Lama's house. Santa
-
thought it would be best
-
to cancel christmas this year
-
Because of economic inflation costs.
-
Instead he sold his reindeer
-
and then bought another reindeer,
-
and turned it to ReinBeer™.
-
Santa quickly drank the ReinBeerTM
-
. Thus ended Rudolph's story. Fin.
-
But then rudolph raised from
-
nothing, as he was Obliterated.
-
From this obliteration Rudolph reincarnated
-
as Super Time Force Reindeer
-
and got invunurable against macmacnick,
-
who used his special kerosene
-
in the reindeer water through
-
the fire and flames that(sorry had to, dragonforce ftw)
-
started to burn Santa's crib
-
we carry on. The heroes
(sorry more dragonforce puns)
-
of our time became invulnerable (even more dragonforce puns)
-
after operation Ground and Pound.
(and more dragonfoce puns)
-
The fury of the storm
(I love puns, don't you, cold?)
-
was too strong for Sunderland,
(Idk dragonforce lol xD)
-
when The last journey home
(MORE DRAGONFORCE PUNS HUEHEUHE)
-
was about dragonforce related stuff
(yaaaay I'm part of it now :D)
-
that even Oliver got it
-
and so dragonforce puns were
-
so brilliant we had to
-
continue using them, although Oliver
-
didn't know how dragonforce puns
-
work, so he just went
-
"DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA"
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and everyone clapped, moved by
-
Oliver's true and deep creativity.
-
Then someone walked in and
-
walked out.It was Batman
-
, but he was just lost
-
from his mother and father
-
while they were at Wallmart
-
,getting shot by a robber.
-
So Batman went to his
-
great friend, Spiderman's uncle, Ben
-
who said "With great power
-
, you can beat up everyone"
-
So batman beat uncle ben
-
and became Benman! Protector of
-
Young people's lack of family.
-
Putting orphanages out of work
-
can get you free money,
-
(Out of context Coldcurse lol)
It also gets you loads
-
(if this is out of context then how do you explain the exploding reindeers that have been ressurected to kill others in space?)
of children as you adopted
-
their parents. Thus gaining immense
-
their parents. Thus gaining immense
over then animal kingdom of
-
ice huskies, Jawjee's native land
-
and also batman's, except he
-
was banned and excecuted. When
-
the huskies attacked Batman, he
-
the huskies attacked Batman, he
died.May he rest in
-
pieces. Then Jawjee said to
-
Catwoman if she'd like to
-
get the hell out of
-
Uncle Ben's house because they
-
were being watched by Uncle Ben
-
in a very creepy way
-
. But Catwoman thought that he
-
was actually really damn sexy
-
but really wasn't and was
-
as lovable as Oliver was.
-
Oliver, however, is really quite
-
the cutest person ever, melting
-
hearts wherever he goes, especially
-
Jawjee's heart, which was missing
-
because they poured it down
-
and then put it back
-
to Catwoman's secret gold case
-
where she also hid her
-
Canyon Ambush mountain shaped dild-ablambam
-
that looks like a pecker.
-
It was around then that
-
Oliver mentioned the goldfish issue
-
In which a goldfish would
-
flap its scrawny arms repeatedly
-
And make a tornado that
-
repaired everything instead of destroying
-
it, causing annoyed captains everywhere.
-
Jawjee didn't post in here
-
because secretly he was Oliver
-
, the perfect plot twist began
-
and Catwoman was more confused
-
when realising she was CatMan.
-
But CatMan wasn't a cat
-
But CatMan wasn't a cat
, but a husky with six
-
canine peppers that he found
-
in Uncle Ben's old wardrobe.
-
The Wardrobe was dusty and
-
had many bottles and other
-
incriminating evidence that CatHusky spied
-
minotaurs in the high mountain
-
because the wardrobe wasn't Narnia.
-
So then Uncle Ben went
-
to visit Doctor Jacob Fii
-
who had a Tardis, to
-
conduct extremely painful blood tests
-
to apples and other fruits
-
whose cellular vacuoles seeped juiciness
-
that made a juice for
-
santa, which survived the assualt
-
of the demon reindeer, but
-
Catwoman and Uncle Ben attacked
-
him shortly after the incident
-
because he didn't deliver them
-
The C4 they had ordered
-
a very long time ago.
-
So they asked another provider
-
for even more C4 and
-
it was delivered promptly with
-
a gift from the Cakes
-
, that was all wrapped in
-
sugar paper with liquorice bows.
-
However, Santa did turn up
-
and he was very drunk
-
because Rudolph spiked his moonshine
-
with even more moonshine, making
-
Johnson the culprit as McDuffin
-
was painting the Tardis red
-
with shocked onlookers jeering loudly.
-
They tried to stop him
-
by painting HIM red but
-
They ran out of paint
-
. They went to the store
-
, got distracted by amazing deals
-
and bought "buy 10, get 4 for free"
-
of pretty desk lamps, which
-
had dust cloud resistance and
-
were also shiny as funk
-
, which was helpful when the
-
Sun was in an angle
-
and the moon was black
-
Because it created a portal
-
to the "amazing deal" dimension
-
were stores like Target, Walmart
-
and many others sold everything
-
for just one soul. So
-
with that bargain Johnson bought
-
a big pack of cheesy
-
crackers for Uncle Ben and
-
some curly fries for Auntie
-
while Catwoman was purring with
-
dogs in the pet section.
-
Santa, however, still was puzzled
-
as the peanut shaped dog
-
chewed aggressively on his beard.
-
"Stop it that tickles!" he
-
hissed merrily. the dog replied "
-
Hello? Is this dog?", then
-
Doge appeared and looked at
-
them both nuzzling. He sighed.
-
He remembered that one time
-
that he had nuzzled. Milkshake
-
brought all the boys to
-
an early grave. Doge giggled
-
, "Much laughter. So funny. Wow."
-
Suddenly he turned into Johnson
-
then he dramatically exploded. His
-
rainbow dust flew everywhere, covering
-
Desert Scrap and Northern Fjords
-
in pretty, harmonious hugs and
-
kinky leather worn by Jacob.
-
"I'm completely okay with this."
-
Jocab said, and skipped towards
-
Jacob, criticising spelling mistakes; he
-
then asked Jocab if he
-
could wear leather too. Coldcurse
<<Sorry, bud. I had to! :P >>
-
was ok with this but
-
was chivalrous and left quietly.
-
Suddenly a beam of light
-
was filling the Refinery so
-
full of jelly that nobody
-
noticed Catwoman and Uncle Ben
-
returning to the story and
-
so they continued to go
-
in search of Santa's provisions
-
which of course were nowhere
-
to be seen. Then Jocab
-
tickled Jacob, making him explode
-
into a brilliant display of
-
Sugar, Crumpet crumbs, and Tea.
-
The peasantry feasted heartily on
-
his delicious innards while chanting "
-
"now Jacob's stomach fills ours."
-
. Jocab then assumed Jacob's identity
-
and unsheathed his Fii sword
-
, striking fear into all who
-
doubted his fabulous and destructive
-
goatee and hood. "You shall
-
tremble before the Fii-ness peasants!"
-
Zuka arrived to calm Jocab's
-
head. He decapitated Jocab. Jacob
-
was reassembled from leftover crumpets
-
and brought back to life.
-
However, after an unexpected turn
-
, Johnson's train derailed. This was
-
a series of unfortunate events
-
caused by soggy crumpets. Only
-
Batman could save us now
-
,but he decided not to
-
because Joker stole the bat-cave
-
. "I'm Batman." said Johnson.
"No,
-
I am Batman," cried out
-
Johnson's Alter-ego. Johnson fought himself,
-
pulling a loaf of bread
-
out of somewhere very secret
-
and started to hit himself
-
in the head with it.
-
"Bash! Bash!" Cried the bread
-
as it started glowing bright
-
like those lights people see
-
in the misty clouds of
-
the fluffy nether reaches. Johnson
-
heard strange, mystical noises coming
-
from Senpai's closet wonderland. Johnson
-
saw Shatner's toupee, hearing voices
-
. "He's dead , Jim." said one
-
mysterious figure,from a dark
-
corner of an opened browser.
-
One day, a duplicate thread decided to start on this noble second, a new era were Space Unicorns Ruled All. the cups of tea. They worshipped disco and exterminate all Of the bacon heretics. Who tried stealing Coldcurse's souls collection.
This included Aretha Franklin records, and also contained Mr. Johnsons Cookies. Which were made to combust spontaneously. Alas, they failed. However they were quite tasty.
So we made more, then the cookie hoard brought Smaug to the great cafateria of N damn Sunderland. Meanwhile the knitting was starting to fray as knitting factions warred endlessly and where conflict brews, great balls of yarn chose alliances, the yellows and red sided. Whereas green and blue sought asylum north of the wall.
The wall, also known as: "Wallie" liked to play goalie. I ram jam slam her. As the story kept going it started to sound ridiculous and everybody agrees with it because three words became five and five words became three and coldcurse was still jealous, and in his jealousy morphed into a Ferocious Goat!!!!!
This shape shifting goat made the Human Race Worship Them and get Smitten By Zuka. For as Zuka gifted the human's with zuka sauce and the humans took it, they fell victim to a fearsome race of intergalactic teacups that poured down a plague looking to steal zuka sauce. Coming to the rescue were a Guerrila Tea Cosy Army armed with techno flammable Bacon hwachas with greased bacon rounds which are mounted on squids. Squids captained by Issac Phillips and his clones were highly stocky to counterbalance the hwacha's. The tea war raged for seconds and everybody got tired. So they had tea and disliked the taste of it.launch the Paritan tea party into this new year was the lore breaking lore breakers who surprisingly upheld the lore's integrity then Broke it repeatedly by carefully putting it back together. As the lorebreackers used Ducktape to tape ducks to their broken lore, of which was all ducked up by then. Captain Jon Snow once said "I am known as Lockheart" but obviously he was wrong because his heart was open. Inside that open heart were severely moonshine-damaged heart things the heart engineers couldn't repair
--- Pages 1-5 ---
-
Soon, Internet Explorer magically opens
-
and engaged chrome and firefox
-
in a browser war for
-
the internet throne. Summoning toolbars
-
made the computer crash, "dangit
-
cried Gaben as he reboot
-
. "Configuring Windows Updates 0% Complete."
-
Garben in furious rage threw
-
Gaben's PC overboard. Gaben lividly
-
went up in smoke as he
-
committed 'Dirty Console Peasant' Genocide.
-
The PC gamers sat watching
-
as Gaben tore apart the
-
closet wonderland from the inside.
-
"Gaben!" Cried Johnson as he
-
rushed to rescue the penguins
-
of the rainbow variety. He
-
slipped on a discarded toupee
-
that fell of a walrus
-
that fell of a walrus
Off a walrus??
who had returned to sea
-
nanigans to be with his
-
new best friend the starry
-
Octopus. This octopus was leader
-
and treasurer of a society
-
That led them, The abandoned
-
followers of a dead cult
-
to a watery and secret
-
grave. Sometimes back rubs are
-
necessary to placate the octopus
-
who is a little cranky
-
after have little or no
-
Sexual intercourse, because the side-effects
-
of being the last octopus
-
on the planet Vulcan't IV
-
were very very very annoying.
-
The octopus then decided that
-
he would come to Earth
-
to fight for the Yeshans
-
against the bubbly invaders of
-
Spongebob's magical fleet of pansies
-
. "VICTORY SCREECH!" Cried Spongebob as
Spongebob's magical fleet of pansies
Also grammar error. Wait no nevermind, if you're talking about a plural amount of things possessing something then the ' goes after the S
-
he charged headlong into the
Spongebob's magical fleet of pansies
Also grammar error. Wait no nevermind, if you're talking about a plural amount of things possessing something then the ' goes after the S
There is only one Spongebob :P
-
Yeshan airships, causing them to
-
crash into the side of
-
Squidward's house. Undersea adventures are
-
nothing compared to the adventures
-
through time and space. Soon
-
The Doctor would return from
-
the depths of timey-wimey, bringing
-
Crumpets, Daleks, and Sonic Screwdrivers
-
for everyone to share, except
-
that the Darlek took them
-
to the Daleks. Darleks, inferior
-
in every way, except for
-
their name, with more letters.
-
A battle for crumpets ensued
-
as the Daleks exterminate the
-
Darleks and steal their crumpets
-
which happen to be poisoned
-
with deadly nightshade. Fortunately the
-
Cybermen were nowhere at all
-
to be found in the
-
side pods of Anakin's fighter.
-
The Death Star Loomed high
-
but still underneath the Galactica
-
as it prepared to fire
-
its large "Laser" towards the
-
toward the approaching doom of
-
something or other that's interesting.
-
Suddenly a squid charged the
-
formation with its heavy guns
-
missing due to design restrictions.
-
But then, suddenly, from the
-
Almighty Dark Lord, a giant
-
flashing monstrosity came into view
-
and granted a mighty carrot
-
the power of flight and
-
then nobody posted in here.
-
The inactivity of core members,
-
destroyed all hope and sexiness
-
, but was saved in time
-
of 8/6, an interesting count.
-
The count loved numbers so
-
that he numbersed all day
-
and all night, leaving only
-
the letters to weep for
-
they were attention-seekers looking
-
ever onward into the void
-
Of despair and cookie destruction
-
. A chocolate chip rose above
-
the mess and called out
-
for the number loving Count
-
to aid him in his
-
quest to write five words
-
which is obviously too many.
-
"Another, easier quest then" thought
-
the Count, having imagined four.
-
Mother Hamster from the three
-
musketeers didn't fall for references.
-
However they did fall for
-
many years. Cliffs are tall.
-
However, there was nothing down
-
except for the all powerful
-
and absolutely and incredibly mighty
-
arms of the beasts that
-
roamed the lands searching for
-
The "Golden Salute", this was
-
a gold handed magic staff.
-
This staff gave salutes but
-
Banned the user that wielded
-
it if it came into
-
contact with excess radiation produced
-
by highly excessive pieces of
-
Delicious home made apple pie.
-
These pies were baked from
-
the most overpoweringly beautiful ingredients
-
such as essence de chem-spray
-
and mixed by airship engines
-
because blenders are rare nowadays.
-
And our story continues with
-
the end of the story?
-
*Oh god not this story-getting-ended-all-the-time thing again*
The thread locked. The end.
-
Thread unlocked. A new beginning.
-
After seventy years the resurgence
-
of handlebar moustaches swiftly resulted
-
in men too sexy for
-
a Jacob and Kirk slashfic.
(Yes, one exists.)
-
Instead these men had to
-
find their own entertainment by
((Macmac. Show me that slashfic now. I mean now. :P ))
-
having to preform the fic.
(Jacob I can message you it. Macmac sent it to me, the horrors :o :P)
-
Reth stared, seduced by them.
(Yes, Jacob, I can. Just get on steam and read the chat.)
-
He wasn't sure if he
((You must've forgotten to send it last night. Gimme. ;) ))
-
was amazed or disgusted by
-
the flying pink dodo bird
-
which appeared inexplicably to the
-
Batman that swooped in with
-
razor sharp lightning tentacles exposed.
-
The dodo bird was named
-
Sharkqueena the third, of royal
-
air force of dodo empire,
-
Heir to the large green
-
dodo caterpillar of the East.
-
This caterpillar was very hungry
-
as dinner was quite late
-
So he drank his moonshine
-
and rammed a floating spire.
-
Into the hard surface of
-
a gigantic Phoenix claw that
-
That got stuck on the
-
underside of a sky whale. The
-
many people watching were mostly
-
Terrified the whale would use
-
its gigantic left fin to
-
Keel haul the aft guns
-
in an attempt to free
-
Willy, the spires powder monkey.
-
Willy was so accurate at
-
Shooting the lumberjack that his
-
aim was off by 100
-
millimeters, scoring a direct hit
-
With lochnager, hacker was screamed
-
though few listened. The claw
-
Caused the spire to spiral
-
as Eric had buffed it -
-
By replacing the engines with
-
something to do with Nuclear.
-
Not so steampunk reactors from
-
unreliable manufacturers are at risk
-
of spontaneously transforming into giant
-
Elves because EA took over
-
the nightosphere, forcing the Muse-Gods
-
To declare war on the
-
Need for Speed™ franchise. Racing
-
squids against sports cars. Victor
-
Frankenstein looked on with glee
-
As the inferior vehicles got
-
squashed beneath the weight of
-
a galleon aft ram. Linguini
-
looked less stringy than the
-
Ropes of a Junker which
-
had been chopped very finely
-
Into what looked like the
-
soupy remains of a unicorn
-
Cooked by the deadric prince
-
and thrown into Oblivion.
"Tasty!"
-
The Madgod smiled and consumed
-
the space in its name.
(seriously, how is Mad god one word :P)
-
(He filled the space with clowns obviously... Or clouds..
eventually it began to smell.. So it must have been clowns..)
And laughed at puny rules
-
Space Airship Races enforced on
-
The people of the republic
-
of New Texas where they
-
spent the whole race attempting
-
To out run the clan
-
so we came together and
-
reintroduced some punctuation; much better.
-
BUT Was toO p0wErfEl BrAh
-
and accidently caused incorrect capitalisation.
-
WHICH SUMMONED CAPTAIN CAPS LOCK,
-
though thankfully this was disabled.
-
AnD LefT onLy bAd ShifT
-
Though StickyKeys very quickly helped.
-
Until StickyKeys ruined Steam overlay
-
so steam was promptly uninstalled.
-
Which meant everyone had to
-
redownload every steam game including
-
The ones they don't play
-
which caused confusion because Goat
-
is a very tasty meat.
-
When served alongside squirrel meat
-
, brussell sprouts are actually quite
-
Edible, however side effects may
-
Cause random bleeding and very
-
intense release of mysteriously blue
-
Dinosaur Monkeys which are like
-
rubberized chew toys for cats.
-
And have a super wet
-
Weekend! billboard signs lay across
-
roads in downtown Chicago today
-
As storm caused by moonshine
-
clouds raging. The report ended
-
as a stray moonshine bottle
-
flew into the window of
-
Captain No-beard! The fearsome
-
sky-whale wrangler of the
-
Northern skies.
"Bum!" He yelled.
-
and then i came and
-
lit the match to start
-
Using his aft flare guns
-
Which he accidentally loaded Lochnagar
-
into, causing mighty destruction of
-
the world as we know
-
nothing about using flares properly.
-
But there is one person
-
Named the Glorious David Dire
-
who double posted, breaking rules.
-
while I prepared for moonshine
-
ramming of a squid using
-
A Spire. Which is stupid
-
but also surprisingly effective given
-
The recent introduction of stamina,
-
Of which caused a riot
-
Among the peoples of GoIO
-
Such as the triple posters
-
Like that jerk,
-
should stop it.
-
After all, he's
-
at least posting five words.
-
Because David is the best
-
at being the worst, death
-
to Davidgra, ruler of the
-
false pit. Without remorse, Jacob
-
and ShadedExalt bump power rings
-
Which doesn't harm Davidgra. Nevertheless,
-
they proceed to fire a
-
Big ole thing that looked
-
like it'd definitely kill Davidgra.
-
It was a Jupiter Field
-
covered in angry Jovian farmers.
-
They were armed with various
-
magical weapons for demon hunting
-
and glued together into a
-
colossal mob of demon hunting.
-
Any demons caught would surely
-
Experience a horrible case of
-
Burnystabby'splodyyellingitis
-
which is definitely five words.
-
Seeing as five word groupings
-
Are for nerds and others
-
like Demons, which makes them
-
run around in circles like
-
they could not quite decide
-
whether or not to blow
-
. The great resurrection of old
-
callsign striker the engineer of
-
the SS David is best
-
at shooting large wheels of
-
Cheese, you absolute nerd, ugh.
-
This ship had such power
-
which could necro this thread!
-
Actually, I think it did.
-
Said the pink, round, shorty.
-
Hey, I find that offensive.
-
Said the pink, round, shorty.
-
However, the badass drunk Anglean
-
Didn't give a flying flak.
-
Because he was busy puking
-
Pure moonshine for the engines.
-
This happened because of his
-
Incredible digestive system, which controls
-
the fate of the universe.
-
Whenever he breaks wind, the
-
Sky Whales sing hymns of
-
His eternal might and majesty.
-
However, tales tell of a
-
Evil twin to Carn, known
-
as Narc, who is foretold
-
To be a beautiful woman.
-
As such, she seduces Carn's
-
Best friend, the amusing dragon
-
who decides to tell jokes.
-
His name is Puff, and
-
He is against drugs, Narc
-
however, secretly uses them to
-
Brainwash Puff, thereby making him
-
totally into evil and drugs.
-
When Puff is high, he
-
goes on a dance fueled
-
by lust, and panda blood.
-
That makes zero sense grammatically,
-
but Puff doesn't care, and
-
proceeds to destroy everything he
-
Thinks smells bad. Which is
-
all of Carn's possessions. As
-
Carn is known to carry
-
many, many guns, this backfires
-
When he drinks Hellfire, as
-
gunpowder residue is explosively flammable.
-
All this leads to a
-
dance off in which everyone
-
Is extremely flamboyant, creating massive
-
rainbow shockwaves of skittle goodness.
-
Rainbow skittles mix with hellfire
-
To create awesome Heavenly Flames.
-
Which he will smite the
-
Filthy sky-whale heretics, for blasphemy
-
toward the one true Bacon.
-
But beware, a demon heretic
-
known by the name Koali
-
The Demon King Davidgra's, servant
-
Who was generally pretty good
-
At seducing fat, hemaphrodite, lizards.
-
Which I guess is probably
-
Weird. Nothing but extremely weird.
-
I mean, it's not like,
-
They DIDN'T give him AIDs.
-
I'm trying to make this positive!
-
Little did Davisgra know, pregnancy
-
Isn't possible with lizards+koali's
-
The lizard knocked up Davisgra.
-
...'s floor, so Davidgra ate him.
-
Killing the father of Davidgra's
-
pet gecko who had lied
-
and impregnated Davidgra last week.
-
What the !@#$% is happening?
-
Suddenly, plot twists migrate threads.
-
HOW AN I IMPREGNATABLE!?
-
Demons have interesting anatomy, many
-
do not know that Carn
-
Is a professional demonologist, with
-
Demon pregnancies of his own.
-
The Succubus's name was Sheeta.
-
She was a hermaphrodite, and
-
She was a shapeshifter, which
-
caused Carn to think she
-
was very kinky. He was
-
right, and she dominated him
-
mentally, creating a musclebound minion.
-
That bent over when asked.
-
To remove, bodies in the
-
Flesh pits. In other news,
-
Armageddon has been scheduled for
-
Every third Friday provided that
-
The ducks of cragmon agreed
-
to the terms and conditions.
-
Among these included Sumatran fungus,
-
a multitude of race-specific
-
Abilities that are amazing and
-
are also somewhat useless. However,
-
Everybody likes first death kittens.
-
If seasoned properly, one can
-
Spring, Summer, Winter and Autumn.
-
Nay, salt, pepper, and paprika.
-
Plus a pinch of Cayenne
-
if you can stand it.
-
One may feel sassy if
-
the dish is consumed, but
-
after being spoiled it came
-
To life, and started dancing
-
but since dancing was outlawed
-
It became a renowned rebel.
-
The dancing dish stood infront
-
Of a tribunal of chefs,
-
all judging the dish's fate
-
Is it overcooked or undercooked?
-
The answer was determined when
-
The almighty thermometer became completely
-
neutral suggesting that the dish
-
is neither good nor bad
-
, but rather that it was
-
In a perfect state of
-
Tastiness and totally unhealthy for
-
Any and all platypuses who
-
Would ever eat cheese pancakes
-
As they were lactose intolerant.
-
And they hated chocolate too
-
But that's because they are
-
Secret agents from North Korea
-
Who have sworn to weaponize
-
Every single cookie ever made
-
Including those already digested and
-
defecated, but little they knew
-
of the tedious process required
-
to complete such an action
-
Would break nature's own laws.
-
And plunge the world into
-
A giant, fire farting Koala.
-
With a slight resemblance to
-
A pekingese, dilapidated, grey bear.
-
But in a far island
-
A being of immense power
-
capable of devouring an entire
-
horse the size of a
-
an oversized ant monster, but
-
not so large as a
-
nerf to the pyra again
-
would be idiotic. But, it
-
also annoy the competitive community
-
which is a good goal
-
but also a difficult one
-
seeing as how Asura guards
-
the status of that ship
-
was something something five words.
-
Five words in fact were
-
horribly retarded yet excitingly unpredictable
-
This is unfortunately very true.
-
Dots are absolutely the bane
-
of every self respecting captain
-
They frequently humiliate and harass
-
any and all who oppose
-
That crazy army of Locusts.
-
But Marcus Fenix has a
-
Massive chainsaw and An Army
-
with ripped arms and huge
-
Balls of steel proceeded to
-
headbutt a gigantic monster of
-
Epic proportions, alas it was
-
Wine and cheese in the
-
core, so it tasted like
-
tears, because his dad was
-
a giantdad, because legends never
-
die. However, he put 11
-
points into dexterity, therefore he
-
is a casul. but
-
if he gets very gud
-
he might be able to
-
generate an unprecedented comeback from
-
A bunch of old farts.
-
And so we move on...
-
...into a glorious new era
-
Of magical girls and Robots...
-
powered by the souls of
-
Unholy amounts of rottem Cheese.
-
In this massed pile, Nurgle
-
commits most vile necromantic acts
-
To save the world from,
-
a slow undignified death, buried
-
beneath Khorne's skull throne, and
-
hopefully make the Spire tanky.
-
But that is just a
-
theory. A LeMoon theory. Anyway,
-
Sir Gregor the Peanut of
-
Salt City, endeavors to catch
-
a perfectly sculpted pistachio to
-
finish his weapon of mass
-
Nuttification, which will transform all
-
non-nut inanimate object into
-
Thralls for The Nut Overlords.
-
However, a heroic peasant has
-
Stolen the pistachio and plans
-
, to be hidden deep inside
-
a dragon with a smelly
-
belly. It's belly was smelly
-
and filled with necromantic power.
-
They inserted an amulet into
-
An ancient altar to the
-
God of awesome power of
-
Scout Robots in myriad caves
-
Beneath the swamps of Carad-Duun
-
. Adventurers searched for them, but
-
To no avail. Then a
-
massive lunchbox fell from the
-
Sky, and inside were penguins.
-
Penguins with cannons. They started
-
Lay eggs which hatched into
-
Ever bigger penguins with ever
-
bigger cannons which started firing
-
ever bigger lunchboxes, spawning more