Guns Of Icarus Online

Off-Topic => The Pit => Topic started by: Skymonger on June 10, 2016, 06:15:06 pm

Title: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 10, 2016, 06:15:06 pm
Now...as a skycaptain and Anglean blackguard engineer, I admit to not doing very...forgivable things in my service with Anglea.

A town wiped off the map.
A family shot on the streets.
Children made into my experiements.
Weapons of destruction rebuilt and remade to massacre thousands.
Locations glassed for my amusement.
Something of that nature blurred and buried within the depths of my mind.

I drink alot to try and forget the moral consequences that my actions have done in my three years serving with Anglea. To Drink and forget that im STILL in service with their Fleets.
But i doubt ill forget it, and those consequences might catch up to me.


So lets get them off our chests captains of the Sky!
What great attrocity have you done in the service of a faction?
Share it with us over a bottle of fatal alchohol!
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 10, 2016, 09:25:05 pm
"Hold on a second,"

*Pulls out service record*

"Butchered an entire Firnfield military base,
Conducted behind the lines fighting against Yesha,
Set fire to a Chaladonian forest,
Absconded with all the alcohol from numerous Baronies establishments,
51 assassinations within Yesha,
Sabotage of the Guild's first air fleet,
Vandalism of the Guild's second air fleet, that was a fun weekend,
Poisoning of an Arashi oasis,
Using a war mech, courtesy of the deep science division,
*Glances at Skymonger*
Defacing of Lord's Leap,
Posing as a diplomat to get close enough to behead a Guild merchant,
Carpeting mines over 2 cities in one night,
Also I punched a Anglean senator.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 10, 2016, 11:13:12 pm
Quote from: Carn on June 10, 2016, 09:25:05 pm
"Using a war mech, courtesy of the deep science division,
*Glances at Skymonger*
Also I punched a Anglean senator.

Oh....so THATS where one of my toys went...not cool man. I made that specifically for cleaning up all the industrial waste my lab makes.
I recall a paper clipping about a giant metal man on a rampage through a guild warehouse district and had like...half the guards trying to pin you to the ground.
Funniest shit i read in a while, thought it was a joke.


...y know, after that little stunt, Anglea put a quarter of the home guard and  a quarter of the Fleet on a witch hunt after you. Granted, the guy was an asshole that wanted to disband most of our armies in the name of "peace"
But damn it carn! I couldnt sleep for a week! You owe me a drink for that.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 11, 2016, 01:29:52 am
Defeated a Yeshan Warlord

Punched an Anglean Harbinger in the face and threw them off my ship.

Eliminated an Arashi Warparty.

Developed a corrosive fertiliser which disintegreated half of Chaladons fields.

Masterminded the first mutiney against the Fjordland King.

Wanted for acts of terror for 210 destroyed Galleons.

Sold false gemstones to the mercantiles at exponential rates.

And 5 kill on site contracts for the deaths of thousands of crew on board the following super vessels.
1 Carrier
2 Titans
4 Dedalo's
1 Vanquisher
And 2 Ravagers
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 11, 2016, 10:57:48 am
"Hey! My superior officer showed me the mech, told me to get in, and perform field tests.  Course, he was executed a year later for treason......."

*Looks through record*
"Also punched at least 1 diplomat from every faction, and at least 50 bureaucrats from each faction."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: ShadedExalt on June 11, 2016, 01:49:46 pm
Science.

(https://media0.giphy.com/media/ED9Q2SCsowywU/200_s.gif)
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: C r o w on June 11, 2016, 06:18:44 pm
''Many angleans here huh? What so special about this tavern anyway?
Wait...
Quote from: Carn on June 10, 2016, 09:25:05 pm
"Absconded with all the alcohol from numerous Baronies establishments
...so it was you that asshole that left our garrison without an drop of booze!
I don't know whether to thank you for helping us succesfully uncovering a spy beacuse we were sober, or to tell to go fuck yourself for making my men use thier brains for once.''

*blankly looks out of a window*

''By the gods, you all make my cruel acts look like nothing!''

*looks at various scrapings on his bracer*

''I only got 47 villages burnt to the ground. Comparing to you, I'm innocent as a baby!''
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 11, 2016, 08:00:03 pm
"47? I have that in Firnfield alone. Oh, I suppose I should mention an act not on my official record.  There is a certain Guildsman who has a grudge against me after a masquerade ball, a hot pink Squid, and a lovely young woman with a temper."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 11, 2016, 08:28:21 pm
Guildsman?
Ehheheheheheheheheh...nooo...it wasnt a guildsman you dog. It was a yeshan. Specifically you stole the third daughter of the Baronies royal family who was getting married to a Yeshan prince.

No one could figure out who kidnapped the Bride and the political tension was THICK that day. Infact, it got so bad, Anglea had to step in and keep both sides from igniting another war in Firnfeld.
It was one of the rarest sights to see Anglean walkers and landships threatening Yeshan Mecha samurai and Baronies Steam knights from slicing each other up.

...but yeah....that aint a crime. That requires a medal.
...you uhh..did the deed right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe....


Oh...speaking of deeds, there was at one point in time where i had the deed to a large plot of land out near yesha. Goverment officials from yesha felt that it wasnt prudent of me to own such a large plot of land for nothing but my amusement In testing weapons dug up from Anglea.
I tried to persuade them with money, Anglean backing, and documents, but they were too subborn to listen.

So i Vaporized them.
Or...more specifically brought to life an Ancient warrior used in the last stages of the great war that...may have set a quarter of the planet in nuclear flames.
They look like this.
(http://i.imgur.com/hxdJVRX.jpg)

And they may have done this...
(http://i.imgur.com/JG1yqvY.jpg)
...needless to say, The wastes still grows and people still get sick traversing it by land.

Oh by the way, that ancient warrior sleeps in Huskarrs Lab. Lets not wake him now.
He might render another civilization extinct.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 12, 2016, 05:21:53 am
I once stole a mobula with a princess on it.

I asked her to put on a seatbelt. She declined as I threw three kegs of moonshine on all the engines.

I now have a ban from Fiordland Airspace.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 12, 2016, 04:22:30 pm
You deserve that.

Im surprised the engines didnt explode.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 12, 2016, 04:46:34 pm
See, the seatbelt was for the parachute...
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 12, 2016, 06:05:50 pm
Quote from: The Mann on June 12, 2016, 04:46:34 pm
See, the seatbelt was for the parachute...

"Are you telling me she fell off the ship while you were burning at 100 miles an hour...?
Tsk...
I thought you treated women right mann..."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 12, 2016, 10:49:50 pm
"I think that was the weekend I raided numerous Baronies mead halls. And beer gardens. I think someone gave me some paint thinner too.  The Guildsman was another affair.......maybe I should stop raiding places with lots of alcohol...."

*shrugs and sips from his hip flask*

"But that would stop so many fun stories.  Seriously though, I've pissed off A LOT of people.  About half of Arashi despises me, the other half considers me a comrade in arms, Chaladon despises me for numerous acts, Yesha considers me as a hated enemy, and the Baronies is constantly annoyed at their near constant soberness."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 13, 2016, 01:34:36 am
"You have Over half the world wanting to kill you.
The only reason why Anglea isnt on a witch hunt for you is because IM there, and apparantly im just as bad as you.

You raid beer gardens and punch snot faced burecrats, I melt mountains and Imcinerate towns as part of an 'experiment'
You Kidnap princesses, I surgically alter little children.
You piss off barons by depriving them of their liquor, i grow the Arashi desert to fuck with Yesha.

HOW am I EQUAL to YOU Carn?!?!
If anything, i should be tried for crimes against humanity by all the nations, but SOMEHOW i get PAID BY ANGLEA for my Psychotic engineering!!!
HOW?"

*chugs a large bottle of Vodka and horse tranquilizer*
"Haaaahhh...and also...the guild dosent want to go after you. Quote on quote 'too expensive to deal with' and 'any reparations due to the shenanigans of Captain Carn are Impossible and should be taken up with another faction."

*chugs again*
*burp*
"Attention whore."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 13, 2016, 07:34:03 am
"Hey, Anglea pays ME to screw with the other factions in creative ways. I'm good at my job."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: HamsterIV on June 13, 2016, 12:04:02 pm
I am not proud of what I have done, but...
* I replaced Tar with Zuka Sauce once which may or may not have caused an enemy crew to self cannibalize.
* I snuck a crate of Sky Whale pheromones aboard  the Yeshan flag ship, then recorded video of a Sky Whale attempting to mate with it for Lord Dick Tim.
* I once asked Zuka what he would do for a Klondike Bar (I am still trying to forget his answer).
* I participated in a Incendiary Gatling gun only Junker build (which should be a war crime if it is not already).
* I convinced a newbie that a double merc ramming Pyra build was viable in Paritan Rumble by successfully flying one.
* I wrote about a forbidden romance between a pilot and his squid.
* I wrote Merry Man propaganda extolling Rear Admiral Zill's supernatural piloting abilities in the Canyons.
* I have trained hundreds of sky bound murderers and sociopaths whose sins compound on my own.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: ShadedExalt on June 13, 2016, 01:18:38 pm
Those are all worthy of medals.
Take my salute.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 13, 2016, 01:38:13 pm
Quote from: HamsterIV on June 13, 2016, 12:04:02 pm
I am not proud of what I have done, but....

"Everytime someone says this. It usually is a lie. Don't lie. You ARE proud of what you have done!"
"I mean look! You have a video of a skywhale trying to rape a galleon AND you say you have trained hundreds of murderers in the sky!
That is someone PROUD of their job."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 14, 2016, 05:56:36 am
Did terrible things with the Grim Reaper.
(https://gunsoficarus.com/community/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=6676.0;attach=3094;image)
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: C r o w on June 14, 2016, 12:16:39 pm
Ok, you are all derpressing me!
Brb, gotta maim-burn-kill some more.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: HamsterIV on June 14, 2016, 02:30:34 pm
Make love crimes not war crimes?
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: C r o w on June 14, 2016, 06:00:30 pm
Quote from: HamsterIV on June 14, 2016, 02:30:34 pm
Make love crimes not war crimes?

You damn monster!
It's better to rip out a man's beating heart than breaking a woman's!
Look!
This comment of yours made me burn to the ground and entire Yeshan rice-field and a hundred farms!
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 14, 2016, 06:17:53 pm
Quote from: HamsterIV on June 14, 2016, 02:30:34 pm
Make love crimes not war crimes?
Hippie
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 14, 2016, 07:08:32 pm
Quote from: HamsterIV on June 14, 2016, 02:30:34 pm
Make love crimes not war crimes?

Wuss.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 14, 2016, 09:08:45 pm
I vote Hamster's war crimes are wiped from his record.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 15, 2016, 01:29:18 am
Agreed.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Coldcurse on June 15, 2016, 02:44:45 am
*pulls out his record.*

Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Ightrril on June 15, 2016, 10:14:06 am
This (https://www.twitch.tv/therobanddanshow/v/47248411) and (even better) this (https://www.twitch.tv/therobanddanshow/v/47248594).
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: HamsterIV on June 15, 2016, 12:20:01 pm
Quote from: Carn on June 14, 2016, 09:08:45 pm
I vote Hamster's war crimes are wiped from his record.
Who do you think you are, the President of Iran?
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 18, 2016, 07:58:59 pm
Quote from: HamsterIV on June 15, 2016, 12:20:01 pm
Quote from: Carn on June 14, 2016, 09:08:45 pm
I vote Hamster's war crimes are wiped from his record.
Who do you think you are, the President of Iran?

Carn has Committed Atrocities for Shits and giggles.
I have Committed Genocide in the the name is Science.
Mann has enacted Crimes because he is the Mann...
Crow...well...hes a bird. Not sure what he has done.
And Shade...lets not talk Science.

The POINT IS, you are breaking a womans heart for NO REASON.
We may be men with horrible track records but above it all...
WE ARE GENTLE MEN.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 19, 2016, 08:24:43 am
My biggest Crime:

(http://puu.sh/pycVF/4913354b38.jpg)

(http://puu.sh/pycZX/924bc89c69.jpg)

Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 19, 2016, 08:46:44 am
(http://puu.sh/pydSS/9258a3ae6a.jpg)
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 19, 2016, 09:06:50 am
I trust that those are but youthful indiscretions.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Skymonger on June 19, 2016, 01:12:57 pm
Its less of a crime, and more of a... Mistake while under the influence of questionable materials.

Kinda like drinking and waking up in a sewer with nothing but your trowsers and someones Dismembered arm.

...wait, i better write that one down.
"Being drunk while operating heavy weaponry."
Yeah, that sounds appropriate.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: Carn on June 11, 2017, 05:55:36 pm
*Looks at the most recent additions*

"Numerous acts of the most unholy rite of necromancy."
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: The Mann on June 12, 2017, 06:35:21 am
You know, both of those clans are still active in their respective environments / servers.
Title: Re: War Crimes.
Post by: C r o w on June 12, 2017, 09:39:56 am
Damn, I'm still a lightweight, only done 37 genocides in the last year and a terrible joke.