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The Fart Awakens (Spoilers)

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Squidslinger Gilder:
Weird that I thought it was better than some of the prequels but bad enough I actually thought Lucas could do better.

If it wasn't for the supporting cast and some of the dialogue, Episode 7 is literally one of the worst Star Wars movies ever. Barely squeaks by Episode 2. Holy crap it is swiss cheese story with an antagonist that needs to wait another 10yrs till he gets some pubes and doesn't need pampers anymore.

First Order vs the Resistance is like watching a bad Gundam episode where we see two former powers duking it out in a never ending war while the rest of the galaxy rolls their eyes and doesn't give a damn. In fact there is such an episode in Gundam: AGE where the protagonists come across this battle still being fought by a handful of old men and its just pathetic.

Why has the First Order even gotten so big if it's ran by a bunch of brats who look like they are still waiting for their balls to drop? Assuming Snoak is Darth Plaguis like others suspect but really...Snoak? Don't even try to hide him or make him mysterious? What is this? Run out of awesome names so you rip something that seems like it should be in Pokemon?

Then..WTF Planet Deathstar beam destroys worlds in real time completely negating speed of light limits? Why are people on one world viewing other worlds in other systems blowing up? Is it the same system? If its the same system, why the flipping monkey crack did they have to hyperspace anywhere?

For that matter why is there even a planet sized deathstar now? Why? NAN DE!!!!! It's so stupid. Where are the huge fleets that the First Order should have? Don't tell me they've blown their entire budget on that planetstar and now they have what...1 star destroyer? How the hell is that scary or imposing? You can't expand a new Empire with one battleship!

I can see why Abrams wanted to continue doing Star Wars movies because he left it so haphazard that literally there is almost no way the next director is going to pull off a decent Episode 8. If the director does, holy crap they'll pull off a miracle.

Anyways, anyone else feel like venting about Fart Awakens? Son of a...they could have at least used some extended universe story and characters. A Jedi Homeworld that is not Tython? Really...no Tython?

*Makes mental note to someday kick J.J. Abrams in the crotch :D

James T. Kirk:
Google "Star Wars 7, The Fallen Hero."

I dare you.

Schwalbe:
One word: TRAITOR.

But honestly, with plot holes THIS big, there is no plot at all. Just the copy+paste of episode 4. Only senseslessly rushed as fuck.
And with soooo leigitimate female character:

Finn: Hurr Durr I'm a big shot in Resistance
Rey: Cool!

Finn: Hurr Durr I actually don't belong to Resistence - I'm a fugitive Order's bitch
Rey: Fine by me, I have absolutly no problem with you lying to everyone, especially me!

...J.J. are you fucking nuts? Have you ever TALKED to a woman? -.-


Not to mention a bad guy, who starts being QUITE intimidating to say the least... and thenn he takes out his helmet - THREE FUCKING TIMES IN A MOVIE - so we can find out how much of an emo cunt he actually is.

Also, I feel they wanted to seem "mysterious" in some moments, but they failed miserably due to the fast pacing - WAY TOO FAST PACING - so when your brain begins to process all you've just saw, the movie is two scenes forward...

Not to mention the ending. PFFFFT. Fun fact, Hamill got few times more money then actress playing as Rey.
GG.
gg wp capitalistic pigs.



Seriously, I believe somebody should make a montage of famous Heavy Rain's "Jason" bug, but instead put a similarly prolonged "TRAAAAAITOR" in it.

Skrimskraw:
SW is overrated, good movies but overrated :)

Squidslinger Gilder:
Yeah I was so hoping Finn was going to get killed off by the end. Injecting that attitude was terrible. The role wasn't really cast well. If they wanted an African American actor, they should have gotten the guy from Super Girl. He's fantastic and doesn't hurr durr.

Heck most of the roles were cast rather crappily other than Rey. Why do all the First Order dicks look like they've barely grown any pubes as well? That admiral guy? What the hell is he? What is this, Space Nazi Boy Scouts? Maybe Plaguis likes being surrounded by young boys...I dunno.

Hamill I've always hated in Star Wars but I like him in Wing Commander. Where he actually grows a grungie beard and looks decent for the part. Looking forward to him playing the old cuss Wing Commander in Star Citizen. Previews of it looked fantastic. Just episode 7...so stupid that he doesn't even have any lines. Just stands there giving Rey the evil eye.

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