My wife works at a pet store and would tell me stories of how stupidly aggressive hamsters are, and how they would find new and interesting ways to kill or injure themselves. Since I like trying new things and dying stupidly for it, I figure I would adopt the hamster as my totem animal. I have never owned a hamster and don't intend to. Totem animals should be revered from a distance, not kept in cages where the noble traits you wish to emulate atrophy.
Often the user name Hamster is taken what with being a common word and all, so I started playing under Hamster Mk 4. I like to imply that I am the fourth attempt at weaponizing the rodent and that the last three attempts were spectacular disasters. Since GOI does not allow for numbers in user name, I changed to Hamster IV.
I get asked often what happened to Hamster I, Hamster II, and Hamster III, so I made up the following story:
Hamster I - died choking a boa constrictor to death from the inside.
Hamster II - fell into the vortex during a goldfish's burial at sea (toilet bowl).
Hamster III - was carried off by an owl, the owl was never seen from again.
Some time after I started going by Hamster Mk 4, a friend sent me this image. I think it epitomizes what it means to be a weaponized hamster.
