You won't need this, since you'll have a crew of communicable friends, but...
Aft Flame Galleon
You are the helmsmen, but your entire crew sucks. They are completely irresponsive, or just wearing yellow ponchos. You need to fly the ship on your own.
Take an Aft Flame Galleon. Be an engineer captain. Spanner-Mallet-Spray with lesmok and a piloting tool of your choice. Ignore the entire bottom deck. Chop it off if you can.
Drive the ship backwards, and solo the entire match. You got a flame and balloon right next to you. The hull and the port gun is right downstairs. If you ignore the entire bottom deck and the engines, the Galleon is a very compact ship.
Move your ship into position, backwards. Arm the flame with lesmok and deal with the enemies yourself. When you've spent your clip, tap your balloon with a mallet, get on the helm, reposition your ship, and get back on the gun.
When the hull is down, it's only a jump away; fix it. If you need something special, you got the port gun, put whatever you'd like on it. When your engines are down, hope to God that your incompetent crew can do something about it.
You have pretty much a slow, tanky squid that you can fly on your own. It's a terribly incompetent ship, but it'll perform better than your awful crew (if you have them). And you'll have a heck of a time being a Rambo.