Author Topic: Motivational speeches  (Read 12660 times)

Offline Goldenglade

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Motivational speeches
« on: July 01, 2014, 03:25:12 pm »
Have you ever given a speech to your crew to rally they against the odds? I've heard one or two since I've started playing and figured maybe we can share some of those motivational speeches....

Also if you have some that started right and then in the end missed the mark just a bit we could all use a laugh.

Offline HamsterIV

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2014, 03:53:03 pm »
Ok guys same plan, but this time with less sucking and dieing.

Offline Goldenglade

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2014, 05:17:51 pm »
lol surprisingly that one works :P




The theory of evolution claims that only the strong shall survive.
Maybe so
But the theory of competition says just because they're the strong doesn't mean they can't get their asses kicked.
What every long shot, come from behind, underdog will tell you is this
The other team might be the favorite. The odds may be stacked against you. But what the odds don't tell you is, This isn't a math test. This is a completely different kind of test. One where passion has a funny way of trumping logic.
so before you step up and take your position remember that the results don't always add up. No matter what the numbers read or the odds show. What you're playing for today is merely a small taste of what you're going to be going up against in the long run. So don't stress over the score. Don't stress over the little mistakes. And most of all have fun because at the end of the day you're only one person on this team.
So enjoy the moment bath in the glory that you're even here and by god don't be afraid to make a move just because it's a high profile match. once the match starts all bets are off and everyone just hold your own stand the line and support those around you and remember Family isn't always blood we're a family no matter how we place or do today.

Offline Hunter.

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2014, 07:18:27 pm »
I made a similar speech to this the other day;

Gentlemen.. This is our finest hour. What happens where will decide whether the red team.. or the blue team.. will be victorious! I don't know why we are fighting over claims to this desert or why just the other match we gave our lives for an abandoned city.. but we have to.. because we live in a video game.. so don't go Turbo on me! I hope the engineers will smash our engines to pieces with mallets and our gatling gun will tear apart their hull, which for some reason a mortar is not capable of, BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT! Our time is now, Our moment is here, Our destiny is upon us..

We died horribly..

Offline Dr Pantaleon

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2014, 09:36:00 am »
One with a slightly more serious tone:

Your screams are my violins
Explosions my kettledrums
Your blood writes the symphony
Of my victory

The flames light the stage for me
As I punish your infamy
And paint in vermillion
Your oblivion.


Technically, that's not really a motivational speech, as it is probably very demotivating when directed at your crew... But it works really well if you scream it in match chat while piloting an all-flamer squid :D

Offline obliviondoll

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2014, 04:06:53 pm »
"Guys. We're up against a really good team, and you're all level 1, but you're following directions well. Gatling, aim for hull. Hwachas, aim for hull as well, but DON'T FIRE UNTIL YOU SEE THE GATLING HITS TURN RED.

We're already 4-0, so I'm not expecting a mircale, but lets make sure we hurt them."

End of the match, 5-2, with 2 crew kills. I'm happy with that result.

Offline DMaximus

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2014, 10:16:19 pm »
I start every competitive match by shouting "MURDER MURDER MURDER!"

The proper response is "KILL KILL KILL!" It's incredibly inspirational.

Surette's really the only one that will do it with me though, so I usually end up doing both the call and response myself...

Offline Squidslinger Gilder

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2014, 01:53:28 am »
"Its ok everyone, we have mines!"
"But those are allies."
"I see no allies, only targets that need mines!"
"Roger that, mining!"
"Good, now laugh sinisterly while they scream in terror...heh heh heh hehehehehe."
"ZOMG THEY JUST HIT A PACK OF THEM!!...MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Forgive us for doubting you sir."
"Forgiven, now less talking more evil laugh mining!"
"MUHAHAHAHAH!!!! OO IN THE FACE!!"

Offline Ultimate Pheer

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2014, 11:22:10 am »
Alright everyone! See that ship over there? We're gonna go over there and kill it 'till it dies from it!

There is a very good reason I don't give speeches.

Offline Shinkurex

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2014, 08:33:53 am »
"Welcome aboard the good ship Not My Fault... Where everything's made up, and it's all <Insert random crew members name here> Fault"


Offline HamsterIV

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2014, 11:56:06 am »
If you are not at your post in the next five seconds I will have you flogged.

Offline obliviondoll

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Re: Motivational speeches
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2014, 12:50:58 pm »
If you are not at your post in the next five seconds I will have you flogged.
Some of the replies on this NSFW thread suggest that not everyone would be quite so eager to avoid that threat (or offer?)...