I'm posting this on the pit because I'm gonna vent.
Angry posts are probably toxic for the community. Let me vent in the Pit.
Match Maker put me as a pilot/captain on a ship with three level 1 crews. (I've won most of the last few games, so this was a logical balancing) This, I did not have a problem with.
Seeing three novices, I thought, let's fly a metamidion. Teach them how to fly on a easy ship with set roles.
I tried to communicate, no response. Not angry yet. This is a typical action a novice crews make. As long as they can hear me, we should be fine.
I explained how a metamidion works. Two people on front guns, one main engi keeping the hull and engine up. Right?
Turns out they can't find the ladder to the front guns... When they found it, only the gunner went up. Two engis on bottom deck. Okay, I can still maneuver this ship to do stuff. Ramming is still valid.
Oh, turns out they don't know how to repair the engines. I can't kero nor moonshine because, when I tell them repair the engines, I'm using Kero, Kero damages the engines for more speed, they haven't got a clue on what to do.
And OMG, they don't know what a repair cool down is. Okay, I tell them (later yell at them) that components go on a cool down after you whack it. Meaning that you can repair something else. You don't have to stand next to an engine the whole time. Guess what, they stay on one engine the whole time, together.
Oh, and the gunner's pretty accurate. Must've come from a FPS game. But when the gun's on fire, he whacks it with his mallet. No engineer is going to make that gun useable. He keeps the gun alive, with 20 stacks of fire.
So the first match, we barely pulled off a kill (mostly from luck and rams) but we went down four times, against a Hwachafish with an awful accuracy. We never took a full hwacha volley, but we still went down.
So, metamidion is too hard for them. Calm down Indreams. Calm. I switch to the easiest ship, the Blenderfish. We have a little mutiny where an engineer changed to a pilot. He never tells me why. He never says a word. No one says a word in the entire match but GG. He changes back when I tell him he needs to communicate why he's changing.
I explain the Blenderfish to them. Gunner stay on the front gun always. An engineer stay next to the Hull and the Starboard Gun. Another one keep the engine and the balloon up. But balloon shouldn't matter because the enemy have mercury guns.
This is where the rage starts. The Gunner is NEVER on the front gun. He's on the staircase leading to the upper deck. An engineer is NEVER at the Hull. He's on the port-side gun. The other engineer ALWAYS stays on the balloon. NEVER leaves the spot. Keeps whacking the balloon with the spanner.
An enemy Goldfish passes right across our front gun and no body shoots anything. At this point, I'm yelling on my mic, SHOOT SOMETHING!
O, and our alley Galleon is on the edge of the map, doing shit with Hwacha and Flak. They are pretty much never in combat.
By the end of the match, I'm yelling: REPAIR THE HULL! STAY ON THE BLOODY FRONT GUN! THE HULLS DOWN! THE HULL! THE HULL! THE ARMOR! THE THING WITH THE SHIELD ON IT! BLOODY ______ ___ STAY OFF THAT BALLOON! IT'S PERFECTLY FINE!
After the match, I apologize for getting angry, and leave the crew to write this vent.
I'm not sure if this is a good description of what happened tonight. But the problem was, three novice crews who were stubborn and refuses to make any communication. I feel like a better player, a CA mod maybe, would've been able to turn these young powder monkey's into proper crew members. I couldn't. I got angry. I really shouldn't have. I needed to vent. That's why I'm posting this in the Pit. I'm sorry if this is bad. I'm sorry if you didn't like what you read. But I really needed a vent. I could also really use a hug...