Ahoy, mateys! Do ye be tirin' o' tha reg'ler gamin' in Guns o' Icarus? Do ye be searchin' fer a excitin' new way ta play tha game? Then ye best be readin' further, as I speak ta ye o' tha greatest an' glorioust profession a sky-man or sky-woman1 can be- tha Sky Whaler!
Ta be playin' Sky Whalers, ye be needin' two teams- tha first be tha Sky Whalers themselves, tha secon' be their great n' noble prey...the Sky Whales. Ye can be playin' wit either four ships or six ships, but I be suggestin' to ye to bring as many swabbies as ye can.
Sky Whalers
Tha team what be tha colour o' tha sweetest wines
Tha Sky Whalers are tha hunters, a-searchin' and a-seekin' their prey through tha clouds o' Icarus. Tha Sky Whalers should fly tha lightest n' most graceful o' the crafts o' Icarus- tha Squid.2 When huntin' fer their quarry, tha Sky Whalers rely on two o' tha finest weapons in all o' tha skies: tha Harpoon n' tha Flamer. One's ta catch 'em with, tha others ta cook 'em. Have ye ever had fresh sky whale, me hearties? 'Tis a dish ta die fer.
Sky Whales
Tha team what be tha colour o' tha deepest seas
Now, ye may be thinkin', "But Cap'n, what can a mere whale do again' such fearsome foes!?" Well, fret yer pretty lil' heads not, me friends. For the Sky Whales o' Icarus are not yer av'rage aquatic mammals. Nay, tha Sky Whale be a truly troublesome beast, tha can kill any ship tha' approaches unwary. Tha Sky Whales be flyin' tha solid Junker, an be layin' out their ship in such a mann'r: four mine launchers on tha sides, to approx'mate tha beasts' habit o' flingin' barnacles at 'is foes; an' one light carronade shotgun on tha bow, 'cause tha beasts have been known ta spit their last meals in an attempt ta throw off pursuers.3
Tha mos' imp'rtant thing ta be rememberin', me friends, is nay ta bring any fire exting'shers or fancy-pancy chem'cal sprays. Thar be no water in tha air fer a Sky Whale to put themselves out with- 'tis just science.
One last thing me'lads 'n ladies; 'tis considered sportsmanlike, after a rousin' game o' Sky Whaling, ta switch sides- tha Sky Whalers takin' a turn at bein' whales, an' tha Sky Whales gettin' a chance to return tha favor. Rememb'r, we be all here ta be havin' a good time.
1Tha skies be a place o' equal employm'nt opportun'ty.
2I saw me a squid once, a'floatin' in tha sea, big eyes a'starin' at me ship.
3Tha sky whale diet cons'sts mostly o' metal shards, occas'naly on fire.
Editor's Note: I was playing in a lobby today that came up with the idea for a "sky whaling" game setup, where one team played the "whalers" who flew Squids and used harpoons and flamers, and one team was the "whales," who flew Junkers and used mines and a carronade. When we played it, no ship had more than two non-AI crew, so I'd be interested to see how it goes with full complements. Also, we hadn't banned extinguishers, making it very hard for the whalers to get kills. I'm a little worried that might make the whales too vulnerable, but Junkers are pretty tough. (and those carronades are deady!) Anyway, though I'd reproduce the idea here for others to try out and enjoy- it was a very fun match, though very slooooow.
