The Top Hat Council

[Velvet]

Hey guys! After discussion a major concern of mine regarding top hats, I heard from Feast on Thrones that the Gentlemen have some kind of "Top Hat Council" that should be consulted about such an issue. Reaching the conclusion that no clan, not even the Gents, could be that awesome, I assumed he could not be serious. However, in the spirit of hope and optimism, I would like to confirm that there is no such council, to avoid the risk of making the terrible mistake of assuming that which does exist does not exist. If anyone has any relevant information on the existence of such a council, or how to track them down, please make it available for the common good.

If there is such a council, I would like to pose to them the following question:

Have in-game Top Hats got a little darker, less shiny and more textured?

If the is not such a Top Hat Council, firstly, I must chastise Feast for giving me such a dream that was only to be pathetically shattered. Fortunately, my dreams are shatterproof. Once started, they cannot be stopped. Forthwith I declare the existence of a new Council responsible for the regulation, glorification and evangelism of that most noble of headwear variants - the Top Hat. For the purposes of maximising exposure and encouraging wider top-hat appreciation it shall be considered independent of any clan. This Council may be considered to exist commencing immediately. If new information is discovered pertaining to the prior existence of another Top Hat Council new considerations will have to be made.

Please proceed to discuss top hats, the role of the Top Hat Council and how it can be best structured and organised to maximise Top Hat appreciation throughout this fine post-apocalypse. Any images of top hats and people wearing top hats are also invited as they will no doubt be a valuable contribution to this important discussion.

[Gryphos]

I always thought top hats were overrated.

[Velvet]

I always thought top hats were overrated.

It is people like you who need this Council. An organised structure will allow us to give you the help you need to find salvation.

[HamsterIV]

The coloring and texturing is not nearly as important as the angle at which the top hat in worn. The pitch and tilt of the hat known to most as the "jauntyness value" speaks volumes about its wearer and their social status. If a council on top hats is to be convened its first order of business should be to come up with standards for Jauntyness. To long our community has suffered from not having a precise definition of how Jaunty is too Jaunty. Save us Top Hat Council, save us!

[Velvet]

Thankyou, HamsterIV, for this valuable contribution. It is certainly true that this issue of Jauntiness is one worth serious consideration. Although I think there are some strong arguments for standardised recommendations on this issue, such as reducing stress, self-consciousness and dressing times for the everyday Tophat wearer, I fear that a standardisation of pitch and tilt could reduce the apparent flair and style of a well placed hat. In short, is Jaunty still Jaunty when everything is Jaunty?

Expert opinions must be consulted; there will be no legitimacy in the decisions of a council of one.

[Wazulu]

Hmm, if I recall the Act of Tilting (135 AB) by the Attire Assembly:

' A top hat should be worn no more askew than 30 degrees- further tilt compromises the stability of the hat, and threatens embarrassment. Furthermore, one shall be considered a rascal and a lout if any more than 27 degrees is taken. It is in this Assembly's view that the wearable range of a top hat should be from 3 to 23 degrees, to avoid negative remarks completely.'

However, if we reference the publications of John Tuxington (When in Vyshtorg, circa 197AB) , he concludes the tilt depends on, and displays, a person's social stature and age:

'Taken on average, the top hat decreases in tilt the older the wearer is- this may be a necessary change, as due to the increase of length (clearly the man must increase in wealth and therefore buy finer, and larger, hats) the angle must be reduced to retain stability. However, such conclusions ignore the blatant contrast in tilt seen in our youth and our seasoned. Youths can be seen with tilts of up to 25 degrees, with the average pertaining around 22. On the other hand, the most experienced among us can be seen at anywhere between 7-2 degrees, with a minimum recorded of 0- however, in this case it was assumed by all present that the elderly fellow felt the need to compensate for one of his appendages.'

I'll continue my research further, but nothing has been written closer to our time period, it would seem. 

[Velvet]

Thank you, Wazulu, for your most informative post! I feel this is an excellent start on the path to a set of more complete and accurate hat-wearing standards. However your sources only detail Tilt, not other important details such as rotation, pitch, hairstyle and other contributions of the outfit ensemble to the hat's overall Jauntiness effect. Additionally we cannot guess at the veracity of the judgements of this Attire Assembly or the research of Mr Tuxington. We need more opinions, and possibly to commit to some field experiments.

[Coldcurse]

"top hat council"sounds like a rip-off from starwars.
let me guess, you al play on the republic side on SWtOR.

[Sammy B. T.]

Top hats are not just over rated.  They are actively dumb.

#shotsfired

[Coldcurse]

"why are rubber ducks hollow?"

#InsertSoulHere