The Codex of Zuka

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"When Zuka lifts a leg on a dead tree, it is not a form of public indecency, it is restoring of life to dead wood! Or as Zuka calls it "Zukforestation"

[HamsterIV]

When asked to "Do the decent thing" Zuka responded "Ok, where is Decent Thing, is she hot?"
Zuka did not invent Polygamy, but he did perfect it.
Zuka does not value his freedom, it is freedom which values its Zuka.
Zuka is not a leaf on the wind, Zuka is a dangerously sharp propeller blade scything through your crew compartment.

[Dutch Vanya]

Guns of Icarus Online was actually shamelessly copied from a game called "Air Zukkaneers".

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"The Zuka fandom currently consists of three tiers of obsession with Zuka: Filthy Peasant, Zukalyte, and Zukciple"
"Filthy Peasants are the fans who can never attain to the greatness of Zuka but follow Zuka around hoping to lick off any gum that defaces the bottom of his shoes. Only those whom Zuka deems Zukable are able to become Zukalytes"
"Zukalytes are those who have been Zuka'd and bear the seed of Zuka within them. They must nurture the seed until they are worthy of being true Zukciples. They bring Zuka beer and wenches! Those deemed unworthy are sentenced to an eternity of being servants to Vakari where they will be perpetually pelted with fecal matter."
"Zukciples are those who are deemed worthy and have mastered the art of Zuka and have started Zukaing others with the seeds of Zuka"

[HamsterIV]

* F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a steam punk version of "The Great Gatsby" called "The Great Zuka"
* Like Gatsby Zuka is known for throwing the wildest parties.
* Unlike Gatsby Zuka does this because he is that much of a player.
* Zuka has read every book in his library, however most of them are pornographic in nature.
* Myrtle's spire breaks up from a tactical bump from Zuka's squid.
* Zuka doesn't die by George's hand because Zuka knows how to deal with the husbands of his "Lady Friends."
* The Green light is a flare Zuka dropped to let people know he is coming to Zuka them all.
* The story's deeper meaning is that dirty peasants should be happy with the scraps Zuka drops them from time to time.

[Letus]

Zuka's cats devolve into crews of ships.

[Letus]

Zuka's cats devolve into crews of ships.

as evidence

[HamsterIV]

* Crewing on Zuka's ship is a privilege not a right.
* Zuka loves everyone, but chooses to express his love through ramming and bullets.
* Zuka never drinks alone, however most people can not see the procession of Valkyries who drink with him.
* There is an empty seat in mead halls of Valhalla reserved for Zuka
* Thor personally Zuka's any one who isn't Zuka who dares take that seat.
* Every time Zuka's ship is destroyed the Valkyries spirit him off to Valhalla for a wild party.
* Instead of spending eternity in Valhalla the Valkyries bring Zuka back to earth so they can spirit him off again.
* Ragnarok can not begin until Zuka stops using Jörmungandr as a condom.

[Gryphos]

* Ragnarok can not begin until Zuka stops using Jörmungandr as a condom.

My favourite.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"Every time after Zuka takes a really righteous dump, a music dance video erupts when he emerges from the bathroom."
"Zuka's fecal happiness is happiness to the world and as such, Zuka believes it should be expressed with proper mass peasantry dance choreography."
"Zuka was once asked to join Dancing With The Stars but he turned it down after inspection of the bathroom in the dressing room revealed non gold plated toilets."
"When asked why Zuka won't give Dancing a second chance, he told reporters,"I'M THE ZUKA!! I DOTH NOT SULLY MY BOTTOM ON PEASANT BOWLS!!""

[HamsterIV]

* Consuming too much Zukasauce before bed will result in prophetic visions of a world ruled by Zuka.
* Michelangelo tried to carve a sculpture of Zuka to show the perfection of the human form, he ran out of marble just below the waist and had to rename his creation "David."
* When Zuka conquers a territory he does not need a flag pole to fly his standard above the palace/capitol.
* The insurgency rate of captured territories is 0%; no one opposes Zuka's rule once they have gazed upon his banner and what supports it.
* So far Zuka has conquered 14 islands, 26 nation states, and most of South America.
* There is a 2 year waiting list for Zuka to come conquer your nation.
* Zuka can inflate the value of a country's currency by putting his face on the coins staring suggestively at the viewer.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

"South Americans are often better at football than other nations simply because every goal means an extra bottle of Zukasauce."
"Whenever they win the World Cup, Zuka comes down and personally delivers fresh squeezed Zukasauce right from the factory floor."
"After embarrassing other nations for multiple years, the Olympic games have officially been replaced by the Zuka games. Only nations conquered by Zuka can attend."
"Whenever the torch for the Zuka games is lit, it must be carried around the world without using any hands, feet, or teeth. Torch bearers must train for years before they are able to properly carry the torch."
"For the first Zuka games, Zuka carried the torch the entire distance along with his banner. He didn't even break a sweat."

[Byron Cavendish]

Oh my dear Zuka,
My khajiit is wet and shaved,
I hunger for you.

Your sauce is tasty,
so tender warm and salty,
I hunger for more.

Take me now ravish me,
Blow your chem spray on me now,
I am ruined now.

[Squidslinger Gilder]

Oh my dear Zuka,
My khajiit is wet and shaved,
I hunger for you.

Your sauce is tasty,
so tender warm and salty,
I hunger for more.

Take me now ravish me,
Blow your chem spray on me now,
I am ruined now.

From the legendary Ballad of Zuka. It makes men out of mice and increases bust sizes 5 fold when you listen to it over night!

You can all have your own copy for three easy payments of $9.95!

But wait, act now and Zuka will throw in a bottle of his new fragrance line: "Smellin of Khajiit." Absolutely free!!

[macmacnick]

When Zuka puts down rouge allies, he Zukthanizes them, as euthanizing is for those who are faint of heart.
Some say that when Trotsky was exiled, he fled the USSR for Mexico not because he feared Stalin's wrath, but because he heard of a new Zukasauce factory being constructed in Tijuana.
The Missing Fabergé Eggs are not truly missing; they were gifted to Zuka for safekeeping prior to the Russian revolution.
When Zuka deems a Creepy Zuka Doll defective, he has the female worker who made it pulled aside and gives her a 'reprimand'.