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The Codex of Zuka

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HamsterIV:
Zuka's tactical genius is on par with Lord Castellan Usarkar E. Creed.
Zuka knows how to put a Galleon into the secret corners of the Desert Scrap.
You are most likely flying into a Zuka ambush right now.
Imagine the least likely location you would expect to get ambushed, that is where Zuka is waiting for you.
Now that you have imagined it, Zuka is waiting somewhere else.
You are 50% more likely to be ambushed by Zuka when you are not wearing pants.
You are 100% more likely to not be wearing pants after you have been ambushed by Zuka.

zlater75@hotmail.com:
Zuka once licked the most poisonous frog in the world. After two months of the most excrutiating pain you can imagine the frog died.
Zukas apartment is the only place in the universe where there is a lightswitch for the sun if it disturbs him and causes glare on his screen.
The legend of Samson. His secret weapon was his hair that gave him strength. When a woman cut it he lost it. The legend of Zuka. His strength is infinite and if you cut his hair it will grow back double the length, already conditioned and with a blinding shine. Also his strength will tenfold every time he hears the word haircut.
Unknown to peasants if Zuka were to stop laughing, heaven forbid, the carbondioxide level of the world would drop 5%.
Zukas spit is more lubricating than teflon oil and also works as an aphrodisiac to whom he chooses.

Mod Josie:
- There is a button hidden under Zuka's left kidney. If one presses this button on purpose, within a week's time the individual will buy a hat. It won't suit them.

- If you have found Zuka's left kidney, please return it to him safely in a sealed container; he misses is desperately.

- There is no earthly disease that can penetrate Zuka's ubiquitously powerful immune system; the only exception being Boogie Fever for obvious reasons.

- If you stare long and hard enough into the sky at night, you will see patterns in the stars. If you stare long and hard enough into Zuka's eyes, you will lose all recollection of the previous nine days. Your memory will be replaced with an image of Zuka's nose burned into your brain. The image does not fade for four days and nights.

macmacnick:
Zuka's Squid can destroy whole worlds with a single tap.
The song, 'Ode to Joy' was remorseful ripped off from the original 'Ode to Zuka'.
Christmas, long thought to be a catholic holiday, was actually created originally for the Filthy Peasants to celebrate another consecutive year of not exploding due to sheer proximity to Zuka. The Catholic church perverted this holiday into the christmas which is commonly known now.

zlater75@hotmail.com:
Before Mr T starred in A-Team he got a cease and desist order from Mr Z due to going to use the word peasant, so he had to come up with another one, which was fool.
Zuka went exploring the galaxy for peasant planets but came back after having destroyed 7 as he had forgot the teakettle on.
A single string of Zukas hair went thru wolverines arm and that spot in his adamantium skeleton is still his secret weak spot.
Ladies that have any kind of dream involving zuka, sauce or related never are the same and feel incomplete before they have heard zuka talk once.
Zukas laughter is the cure for all sickness in the milky way which pharmacists fear because then they would be obsolete.

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