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The Codex of Zuka
HamsterIV:
* Consuming too much Zukasauce before bed will result in prophetic visions of a world ruled by Zuka.
* Michelangelo tried to carve a sculpture of Zuka to show the perfection of the human form, he ran out of marble just below the waist and had to rename his creation "David."
* When Zuka conquers a territory he does not need a flag pole to fly his standard above the palace/capitol.
* The insurgency rate of captured territories is 0%; no one opposes Zuka's rule once they have gazed upon his banner and what supports it.
* So far Zuka has conquered 14 islands, 26 nation states, and most of South America.
* There is a 2 year waiting list for Zuka to come conquer your nation.
* Zuka can inflate the value of a country's currency by putting his face on the coins staring suggestively at the viewer.
Squidslinger Gilder:
"South Americans are often better at football than other nations simply because every goal means an extra bottle of Zukasauce."
"Whenever they win the World Cup, Zuka comes down and personally delivers fresh squeezed Zukasauce right from the factory floor."
"After embarrassing other nations for multiple years, the Olympic games have officially been replaced by the Zuka games. Only nations conquered by Zuka can attend."
"Whenever the torch for the Zuka games is lit, it must be carried around the world without using any hands, feet, or teeth. Torch bearers must train for years before they are able to properly carry the torch."
"For the first Zuka games, Zuka carried the torch the entire distance along with his banner. He didn't even break a sweat."
Byron Cavendish:
Oh my dear Zuka,
My khajiit is wet and shaved,
I hunger for you.
Your sauce is tasty,
so tender warm and salty,
I hunger for more.
Take me now ravish me,
Blow your chem spray on me now,
I am ruined now.
Squidslinger Gilder:
--- Quote from: Byron Cavendish on December 04, 2013, 05:47:13 pm ---Oh my dear Zuka,
My khajiit is wet and shaved,
I hunger for you.
Your sauce is tasty,
so tender warm and salty,
I hunger for more.
Take me now ravish me,
Blow your chem spray on me now,
I am ruined now.
--- End quote ---
From the legendary Ballad of Zuka. It makes men out of mice and increases bust sizes 5 fold when you listen to it over night!
You can all have your own copy for three easy payments of $9.95!
But wait, act now and Zuka will throw in a bottle of his new fragrance line: "Smellin of Khajiit." Absolutely free!!
macmacnick:
When Zuka puts down rouge allies, he Zukthanizes them, as euthanizing is for those who are faint of heart.
Some say that when Trotsky was exiled, he fled the USSR for Mexico not because he feared Stalin's wrath, but because he heard of a new Zukasauce factory being constructed in Tijuana.
The Missing Fabergé Eggs are not truly missing; they were gifted to Zuka for safekeeping prior to the Russian revolution.
When Zuka deems a Creepy Zuka Doll defective, he has the female worker who made it pulled aside and gives her a 'reprimand'.
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